Episode Transcript
welcome back to sort of sophisticated people, the podcast, where I guess we try to sound smart, but not obnoxiously smart. Just like smart, like smart enough. So we fool people. Smart. Like that kind of smart. Uh, my name's Pete and with me as always is Amanda. Hello Amanda. Hello. And hello everybody. What are we talking about today, Pete? We are talking about your, choice of wardrobe and the overalls. That's what we're talking about today. I love my overalls. What is going on? They're linen overalls. Okay. They're so comfy. Are you, headed out after this, episode with dude branch? Sure. Okay. What are we going? They're so comfy. You taking the girls? You I'm gonna buy you a pair of linen overalls. I So you can enjoy them. Well, I don't know that I would ever wear overalls. They're so lovely. Oh, okay. They're so lovely. They are. Don't knock it till you try it. I'm not gonna try it. Mm. I'm not doing it then. You can't knock it. No, no knocking. Um, what are we talking about today? We are talking about. Shit that went down in Greece. You remember Greece? You remember when I went to Greece? Oh, but I mean, you went to Greece. I know. So is this inspired by your trip? This is absolutely inspired by my trip. All right. This is like a holdover. This is like a, I went a while ago, but like I, it's like living rent free in your brain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wrote some shit down. I was like, I gotta get to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Um, so, but are we gonna talk about how you hired a stylist so you could, um, only bring a carry on? We're doing that again. And your bougie shit. We're doing that. We, we, we we're gonna, I'm just wondering. It's, people might be fascinated by it. We're not. I understand why we're not gonna talk about that and we're not gonna talk about that ever again, but touche some I like about it. I appreciate that you tried to just gimme shit because I gave you shit about your linen overalls. No, no, no. People be actually be interested. No, and the fact that you got a stylist, I'm moving on. Um, you're fine. Okay. So, so the whole idea was Mount Olympus, the Acropolis, everything that goes on in Greece, the Greek gods, everything is steeped in history and tradition in Greece. And I remember like when I was there going through all the tours, like this person related to Zeus and that building related to Artemis. And that thing was, you know, whatever, Athena. And there was like so many things and I was like, uh, recall, recall, recall, sixth grade mythology class not happening, did my best. And I was like, no, no, no. I gotta, I gotta, I need refresh. It's refresh on all things Mount Olympus and Greek mythology. So that's what we're doing today. So this is like post trip refresh. Yes. So you're trying to make everything that you saw make sense now? Yes. Okay. Because this is how I come up with episodes. I, I, I love it. Like, life happens. I think of things, I write shit down. And then, yes. Here we we're. We're gonna, we're gonna start this. Do we have an official title? We do. We have official title. Please meet the Olympians, the original dysfunctional family. Thank you. Chat, GPT. That was hysterical. We are talking all things OG Greek Gods, why it's still relevant, how it started, who's on Mount Olympus, all the stuff. And when we're done, Amanda, I'm going to turn you into a mythological genius. Is that a word? Mythological? Is that six? I think it a six. Is it mytho, mythological genius or mythological? I don't know. Let's TM it just in case, but like Yeah, I don't really know. Yeah, whatever. Okay. but first you're gonna tell us how we're gonna be all cultured and curious? Uh, we have to, 'cause we gotta stay true to the, uh, tagline. It's true. Um, it's, I mean it's Greece and it's that Okay, you just answered mean, Greece is culture baby. I think, I think that's like an, you know, a given, but Right, right, right. Is there something else that like, not really. That's sort of it. And like I said earlier, it's just goes back to, when you're somewhere, like in this case I was on Acropolis and trying to learn all this crap. It adds so much more. You feel like you're in the history if you know enough about it. Yeah, right. It like helps connect history faster the more you, are updated on this crap. So I felt a little lost 'cause I was like, oh my God, I wish I remembered this from class. Or, oh, I miss, so this is sort of the only reason we're doing this is so we, get cultured and then from there you would argue that if you know more things about everybody else's culture, like to the premise of the show, um, maybe we don't, I don't know, shoot as many people. How's that? Oh, maybe we don't kill people. Like, maybe we just become cultured and curious on what people are talking about. Yes. Instead of that's fair, fair. You know, using large weapons and, you know. Yeah. Taking people out. Anyway. We won't make this political. So that is what it's all about. Fair. Well cheers to that. Right. That's important. Cultured and curious. Let's go. And hopefully if anyone, um, is listening that we remind ourselves it is okay to be cultured and curious to ask questions. It's, it should be okay. And for people receiving the questions, again, you'd rather them have questions than an alternative. Questions are good. It's right. Conversation's good. Dialogue is good. Look, let's be honest. Behind the scenes people, Amanda and I, we don't agree on everything. Okay. Half the shit we talk about gets cut out because we're yelling each other. But the point is we still come back week after week to do this because we love each other. Okay. That's right. Well, and you know, we're open to hearing what the other one says. We are absolutely. And dialogue. I gotta give, give you Off air, by the way. I'm gonna leave this as a cliffhanger for all of the listeners, but off air, I gotta give you massive kudos. Okay. For what we were talking about last week. You got in my head. Okay. It was good. Okay. It was good. Good, good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna appreciate it. I can't remember what happened last week. You know, like, here's the deal. I know like 90% of the time you hate me. I, I, I totally understand, but then like 10% of the time I say the one thing where you're like, oh my God. Okay. Like, he's awesome. That's why we're friends, right? That's right. I have one of those for you. You're gonna really appreciate this. Okay. Got it. Fair. Okay. Okay. Well, uh, speaking of words and dialogue, do we have a word of the day? We do. We totally got Word of the day. I got Word of the Day lined up for the next year. I know. It's so great. Okay. And now TikTok, Instagram, all they just feed me. I love it. Yes. Bring it all of it. Yeah. Yeah. The algorithm got you. It totally did what? But also what I will give you, kudos. What I just started using AI more. Mm-hmm. Um, one, it's terrifying, but also two it's awesome. I mean, the way that it can build things out and how much you've used it and like it's, you inspired me to like try it. So thank you. It saves my life on this show. It absolutely does. Order of the day. Ready? Ready. Equitable. Equitable. Equitable. Not equitable. Not equitable. Equitable. Yeah. I didn't even know it was a real word. 'cause I thought same as you did, I was like equitable. Did they do this wrong? Whatever. But equa a EQ equal, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A bull A So it's equal ish maybe. Sort of, okay, so equitable comes from the Latin word E eis. I dunno if I'm saying that right. Eis. Eis. Uhhuh. A-E-Q-U-A-L-B-I-L-I-S. Right? Whatever. Right? Meaning equal, uniform or consistent. Mm-hmm. So equitable means calm or even tempered. Not easily disturbed. I will never be called equitable. No. No. I don't think either one of us will ever be equitable. Okay. Fair. But calm or even tempered. Equitable. Yeah. Definitely. More of a Trent Houston. Yes. Yeah. Trent, Houston's a very equitable man. I'm gonna use this. Yes. I'm gonna say, wow babe, great job being equitable. Very equitable. Yeah. Yeah, he is. Alright Pete, so set the stage. I know we were just talking about like Olympus and I'm assuming that means that they're Olympians. And so are we gonna talk about like where Olympians they are came from? Olympians came from the Greek Mountain, the mountain range, Olympus. Mount Olympus. So they were actual people? Well, There was a mountain range called Olympus. Okay. Right. But, but then the Olympus of Greek gods are the Greek God. That's the whole Acropolis and the whole pantheon. And that's the whole mythological. Okay. Mythological cool myth there. Mythological, right? Yeah. Yeah. There go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's some fakeness to it, but No, no. Olympus was a real place. So Olympus is a real place. Yeah. But the Olympians that we know are all mythological. Yeah. Yeah. They are. Well, not like, not like real Olympians, like Jesse Owens and stuff. I mean, well, right. But then, right. Or Michael Phelps mean he's a real Olympian. Like, but these are are different things. We're talking about the gods. Okay, sure. Sure. But then do we use the term Olympics like. Because they had Olympics. Oh yeah. That's how it all started. Right. They had the games and all this. Right. The ancient game. Right. And so then they called them Olympians 'cause they were like gods we should have done that when we did our, remember when we did our o Yeah. My right Olympics episode. My brain is blown. That's it. It all came from, goes all the way back to that. Huh? And when I was in Greece, I went to the, oh my gosh, I'm not gonna say this right. A Pan ofac, pan OFAC stadium. I don't know if I'm saying it right. Uh, which is terrible 'cause I should know this. Which was where the 1896 Modern Olympics were held? Okay. So you remember the ancient Olympics were so long ago. And then everything went to hell forever. And then 1896 Greece started 'em again. I went to that original stadium. It's still there in Greece. 125 years later. Okay. I I, I snuck in at like five o'clock in the morning and I ran the track at the booth. No, you didn't. I did. You absolutely did. Oh abs I have pictures of it. Oh, sunrise. I have pictures of me running this track inside. It was amazing. And then when I went back on the tour, like six hours later, I was like, oh, I've been here already. He goes, how are you here already? The tour guide? And I'm like, uh, I just, uh, I was just looking at it like, he's like, you already came here. I'm like, yeah, yeah. I came here this morning, I snuck in the back. There was like a gate that was like this far open and I got my fat body through it. Okay. Anyway, um, so when you get arrested, it was because of the shot episode. Wanna turned you in? I snuck in. It was excellent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Whatever. All right. So you're gonna start us off about these Olympians. Well, I would like to say yes. But you know how I like to go back before we No. Yes. I go back before I go forwards. This is how I work. How far back are we going? We gotta go way back. We gotta go back to the beginning of time here, because the Olympians were like halfway through already. They only showed up like 2,500 years ago. There was shit before them. Okay. Yeah. No, there's a whole, let's go back. Here we go. There's a whole story. Well, and who are the O Olympians? The Olympians were the the 12 Greek, like Zeus and the 12 Greek God Ze. Zeus was the leader of all of that. Yeah. So we're gonna get, that's what we're gonna talk about. Okay. But I wanna go backwards to tell a little bit of the history of it, and then we'll go through all the God, is this like where they came from? Correct. Great. Let's go. So they had a dad. Okay. Right. They had a, their dad's name was Cronus. Okay. And all the Olympians, that we were talking about, they were basically like thrown up like puked, out of their dad's stomach. Okay. Yeah. It was So like immaculate conception from the dead? Yes, but from a dude instead of a woman. Okay. Yes. Interesting. Basically the same exact thing. Huh? I have lots of questions. I know. There, there's so much. Okay. Uh, but I gotta go back before Kronos. So after he threw them up, is that when he decided women should then give birth? Because it was such a horrific process. Process for him. It was too much. It was too much for him to just puke. He said, okay. Men are so weak. I just, right. Who kidding. Alright, so we're gonna start at the beginning. All the way at the beginning. Okay. Okay. At the beginning there was the word and, Amanda, the word was God. Hmm. Okay. That's a different origin story. Oh yeah. I was gonna say, we on the, the same page here. I'm off a little bit. Okay. There was something called chaos back then. That's what they called it. Chaos. Not like disorder, because everyone thinks chaos is disorder, but think of a big void. Okay. Like, nothing, nothing like nothingness. Okay, before creation then randomly, one day, don't quote me on this 'cause I'm a Christian, but here we are. Comes, Gaia. Okay. Okay. She was this beautiful, wonderful woman and AKA, the earth. Okay. That was Gaia was the earth. Okay. Along with a few other dudes. So Nicks was another one, Knight. He came outta that whole thing. And, abus, right. Darkness. So we had Gaia, Nicks and Abus. Okay, but how about light? There's no light there. There's Earth Night and Darkness. Yeah. Thank you. What is happening? Sorry. Why do they do that? I'm sorry. Continue. It's, it's all bad. And by the way, why does there Night and Darkness, like, aren't those basically right? Aren't those like twins? Aren't those the same guys? Should be, yeah. Yeah. I would agree with you on the whole light thing. So anyway, so Gaia is just hanging out, minding her own business. Now, there's no more chaos. Now there's Earth, uh, and all of a sudden she gives birth to Oros. Okay. Or Uranus, in Latin. Yep. That's what our, whatever the planet is named after. Yeah, the sky. So Earth, Gaia gives birth to the sky, gives birth to Uranus, the sky. Okay. Somehow with no husband. They say it's because she was what they called a primordial being that's quote unquote primordial being okay. She just was. Okay. So the same thing R God, capital G just was like, Gaia was just, just, was just was Uhhuh. Okay. They didn't think biology back then. Think, think poetry. It's beautiful. Think, right? It doesn't always have to make sense. Okay. Yeah. It doesn't. Okay. Earth makes sky okay together. They make life. That's, that's how the little humans, that's how the Greeks put it together, right? So you start with earth, earth made sky. in our case it was God. Yes. In Genesis, he, you know, Virgin Mary six days did the whole thing. Well, no Virgin Mary whatcha talking about Virgin Mary? It was like way later. Well, but that's how the people came be. Oh, he like separated light from darkness. Oh, then he made the earth, then he made the thing, then he made the people, then he made the plant. Well then he made the. I don't know. The fish, then he made the animals, then he made the people. Okay. And then on the seventh day, what did he do? He rested. He rested. But we're not talking about that. Okay, fine. So then after all this goes on, right? Earth and sky, mind you, this is mother and son gets really creepy after this because they have sex and have 12 titans. So there's that. Yeah. I a little weird, right? Huh? Mm-hmm. I dunno how I feel about that. It's like, it's poetry, I guess. I don't know that it's real because I mean, like, it's sky and earth. So it's not like actually physically, medically, like, listen, all I know is she a mother and son? All I know is she birthed this dude. Yeah. And then, but it's like the earth. It's not like a person, right? Its like, okay, I don. Oros. Okay. Continue. He gets frisky with his mom. They make 12 titans. Okay. Here we're 12 Titans. Very e pissy. Okay. Okay. we still haven't gotten to Olympus yet. Mind you or all the Olympians. So besides the titans, like they also made all these other deformed monstery things. 'cause I mean. It was incest, it was gross. Who are we kidding? So they made Cyclops, you remember like one-eyed Cyclops? Everybody knows one-eyed Cyclops. They made some cyclops and they made something called HEA toes. I don't know. I don't know if I'm saying that right. HEA toes. The dudes with a hundred hands. Okay, so it just goes to show you don't have sex with your mom. It's all gross. Are we gonna get off that? We are. I'm off it. Okay. I'm off it, but it's gonna get worse before it gets better. But here we go. Okay. So basically you have 12 Titans and then you have Cyclops, 12 Titans, and you have like the monsters on the side because they're all deformed because mother and son had sex. Okay. Okay. So I guess, Oros. Got jealous and thought maybe like the titans would get too powerful, and try to overthrow 'em one day. So he decides to grab all of them and literally stuck them back inside Gaia's vagina. Like that's what he did. The concept was he stuck them back into the earth. You with me on this? Yes. And basically said screw you guys, I don't want you because you're gonna be too powerful. I'm just stuck on how sexualized you made this whole story. I didn't, no, I didn't make it sexualized. I have a feeling the Greeks did. Okay. This is, this is poetic. This is beautiful. This are origin stories, so there has to have something to do with it. Okay. Anyway, so Gaia is pissed. 'cause now she has to rebirth these 12 titans again. But she's like, dude, nobody's stuffing these kids back inside my vagina without my permission. So she builds this massive Flint sickle. Yeah. The kind you see in horror movies like Sickles, right? That like, shred the corn down, right? You know what a sickle is. Okay. You with me? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Why are you looking at me like that? 'Cause I'm waiting for the next part. And she starts talking to her belly. And I guess like that's where all the kids are stuck, in the core of the earth and asks all of her sons inside her belly somehow. Which one of you is brave enough to come out and try to kill aos, So wait, so who volunteer? His tribute? That's where Kronos comes in. Kronos. Oh, okay. Remember at the beginning I said Kronos like threw up all these Olympians out of his stomach. Yep. Cronus came out. He was the baby. He was their the 12th Titan. And he was like, dude. Gimme the Sickle. I'm gonna handle this shit for you. Okay? Yeah. And what happened? So I guess Anos comes back around to try to get a little like from Gaia, you know what I mean? I don't even know how Oh, okay. She's still even letting him um, you know, do her quote unquote. Okay. Right. So Skye is trying to get a little more action even though she's pissed at him. Doesn't matter. So anyway, they're about to get it on and out of nowhere, Coronas pops out and Castrates Anos with this sickle that his mom gave him. So now blood and, um, you can imagine some other stuff. Very horrific. Yeah. But, but you're like, I'm not sexualizing. This is what's happening. It's spilling all over Gaia and out of all of that pops the race of giants. The tree nymphs, all the furies, a bunch of other cool stuff, like all these other mythological creatures come out of all that. So at least Oros. balls weren't cut off or nothing, but basically that's what Krono did. He cut his nuts off. I have a fun fact about those same balls a little later on. My brain can't handle all of this. It's a really good one. And it has to do with birthing one more of the gods actually. One more of the Olympians. You, won't believe this. Okay. It's gonna be great. Okay. Where was I? Back to where we started. So now all the way back to Kronos. Kronos takes over Now that, basically his dad's dead, well, his dad's not dead. His dad has had his balls cut off. So he is a eunuch. So he's worthless now, so Kronos is in charge. So this was the whole problem, that. Oros was afraid of. It happened. Yeah. Like one of his sons got two, strong and, you know, cut his nuts off. So here we are. This is a lot. So kno grabs his older sister and they decide they're in love. So two of the titans decide they're in love and it's time to make babies. It's very incestual. Here we go. Okay. So anyway, I guess there's this whole prophecy going around that kno knew that one of his kids would overthrow him one day. So this is like, father-like son. Same exact thing's happening. So his sister that he decided to, sister Yeah. Have babies with Uhhuh. Yes. He decided to have babies with her name's Raya. Kronos would eat it. He would eat the babies. He would eat the babies. Yes. So she'd have a baby. He would eat it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, so, Hestia, deme, Hera, Hades like Poseidon, all of the Olympian gods that you know of, all were like born and then eaten. Okay. So now we're on number six. And re is getting a little pissed off. She's doing all this work, having all these babies, having to deal with Krons having sex with it all the time. And he keeps eating them. So she texts her mom, Gaia, okay. And asks what she should do. Right. And I, Gaia gives her a little advice and she's like, all right, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna plan a trek. So she tells Raya, okay, that as soon as number six is born, Zeus is number six. Hide him in a cave somewhere on the island of Crete and instead wrap him in a rock in a baby's blanket and hand it to Cronus to swallow instead. So cronus isn't gonna swallow the baby. He's gonna swallow a rock. Got it. Okay. That was the big plan. Okay. Totally worked. Ray had the baby. Cronus takes the baby. The baby's a rock. It's wrapped in S swaddling clothes. Boom. He eats it with me. So far. Zeus grows up save in town. Zeus totally grows up. Okay. First one to grow up. This is why Zeus is in charge. We did still put this like Poseidon. What happened? How did they come about? I, well, they're gonna come back. Yo. Yo. They're all coming back from the dead. Oh, okay. 'cause this is how this all works. Okay. So where shit gets good. So after how many years, I don't even know. Zeus comes back like this badass, bigass man. He's like the rock. Okay. Like Jason Momoa, like big, like the Jesus. Okay. He goes and finds Krons 'cause he is gotta kill his dad now. Sticks his finger down, Cronus his throat and forces Cronus to throw up all of his brothers and sisters. Oh, okay. That's how they all, there we go. That makes sense. So they all come back one by one. Not Imm Ception. Okay. Since they're all Gods, they just came flying out of Kronos mouth, like fully grown, fully dressed, all nice and everything. Of course they're ready to go looking very God-like. Right. So he is like, thank you. I have all my brothers and sisters back. This is excellent. Okay. But now that was only six though. I know. And there's like 12 Olympians. I know. That is okay. Yeah. So we're still going. We are Okay. I'm, I'm locked in. Let's go. So Zeus and Hiss brothers and sisters basically declare war on all the Titans 'cause they're pissed. The shit hits the fan on all the titans. Okay. Yeah. They're pissed. Hits the titan. All the 12 Titans, not just Kronos, but Kronos, brothers and sisters, Kronos, Raya, and all the other brothers and sisters. So you had Gaia start with ga. Yeah. It started with Gaia and aos, And they had the 12 Titans and then the Cyclops and all those other weird surface creatures. So then, and of the 12, of the 12 Kronos then had all these babies. So now basically but did the other ones have any babies? Uh, I don't know. Okay. Now I'm, we're not. Okay. They're, they're less important Charact characters in this story. We're just follow c Chron's genealogical line. We're absolutely are. Okay. So now Zeus and his brother, sister like, fuck this shit. We gotta take care of Crons and all the titans. So shit goes down. It's like the battle for Middle Earth. I don't even know what to tell you. It's called Titan, I don't know. Yeah, it's a big thing, right? It was a 10 year battle to the death, Amana to the death. The Olympians versus the Titans. Thunderbolts versus the mountains. You just went a million different ways. It was big. It's insane. It was big, but it was like a gazillion years ago, so it's totally fine. But it actually took literally 10 years. Yeah, I don't even know. Right? Like who decide? Just checking like how is there there a long time now? And then indifference, but is there historical evidence of 10 years? Did someone write that down? I don't that the battle of all these gods took 10 years. That's kind of dumb. Right? They don't even know nobody was around. They just picked 10 years, I think. Okay. Okay. It's kind of bullshit if you ask me. I think when I was doing some, some digging, it has to do with the Trojan War. 'cause like remember the Iliad, the Os. That also took 10 years. So I think somewhere along the lines, some somebody just started making shit up. Like, oh, this took 10 years. 'cause that sounded good for the story. Right. Good storytelling. Yeah. I don't know. All right. So anyway, Zeus and his siblings, they win. Of course. Well yeah. Duh. We all know this. Here we are. Well thanks to Cyclops 'cause. And remember the a hundred handers we talked about earlier? I didn't know what their whole name was, but yeah, they basically all got together and then banished the Titans to this place called Tartus. Okay. Basically like a fancy dungeon at the bottom of the underworld, and then Zeus goes on to make Olympus great again. Right. That was the whole concept of what, like with him and his brothers and sisters, he didn't do it alone. Right. Hey, I'll make an Olympus great again. Who wants to come with me? Okay. Technically, that's when they decided to live on Mount Olympus. You get the idea. Understood. Okay. You me. So it explains a lot of like the history and how it all came to be, but why does this matter so much to Greek culture? Right. There's a, there's a lot there. Did the Greeks come from them? Here's the deal. It's a long story. This was like 2,500 years ago. It's a long time. Different times. Here's the thing. Greek gods weren't about like being perfect role models. No, because they were awful. Our Christian God, different story, right? Jesus. The whole idea, like, I get that concept, but this was ancient Greeks way of life making sense to them, so they wanted imperfect gods, that was the whole idea. So think of how it manifests itself. So it needed to explain science. It needed to explain stories needed, create reasons in for why things are the way they are created, right? Absolutely everything, right? So think of thunder, that was Zeus. That's why Thunderbolt, Zeus like thunder, right? Earthquakes. The whole thing with earthquake. That's Poseidon. That's the sea God, um, seasons, they didn't understand seasons that was, uh, Demeter and all the grief after losing Persephone. We'll figure all that out later. I'll explain all that. They didn't have science yet. They didn't have who was it? Galileo and Copernicus all the stuff that we figured out. Dude, they were flat Earthers, let's be honest. They were totally flat earthers back then. And then the other piece of that whole thing was, like I said earlier, they weren't perfect on purpose. So the Greeks looked up at Olympus and saw themselves, like their own families. That was the whole point. The stories or myths, or I don't care, whatever you wanna call 'em, gave the Greeks permission to be imperfect. So they weren't just worshiping gods, they were telling stories through the gods about themselves. That's why all this was created okay. Okay. That makes sense. But I think we've only talked about six. And you said that there was like 12. There was. You're absolutely right. There were six that came. That came from Kron. Where did other six come in? So Knu and Ray. Only had six kids. Right? You're absolutely right. Yeah. They stopped with Zeus. Okay. Then Zeus and his siblings overthrew. The Titans. Yes. And then actually Zeus had like six or maybe even seven Gods from a few different goddesses. So there's more there. Zeus did. Zeus did the rest. But I'm thoroughly confused what all of a sudden there were more goddesses somewhere that Zeus could have babies with. Yeah. This is, it's a, I think you need to run through it just like real quick and straight to the point. Can, can you suspend judgment and just stop trying to put this all together? Literally. I know this is how your brain works, but you gotta just, this is all poetry. This is all poetic. So basically I'm gonna say this like as simply as I can, there were six of them, then Zeus made more of them and the Greeks sort of. Settled on about 12. Were like the main gods of Mount Olympus, but there was a few other gods. So maybe sometimes people think there's 13, 14, 15. Okay. Okay. But when you say like, Zeus made them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll go fast. Okay. So Kronos and Raya had Zeus, Herra, Poseidon. Hades. Demeter and Hestia. Okay. Okay. Those were the six. Yes. Then Zeus had Athena, Apollo, Artemis, Aries, Aphrodite, sort of we're gonna explain that. Um, Festus, Hermes, and esis. Okay. Okay. And those are like the main ones. And I think that's more than 12. I think it's like 13, but whatever. Okay. So I'm gonna start with Zeus. Are you ready? Yes. So Zeus obviously the king of the gods. We know this. Okay. God of sky, god of thunder. So on paper he was you know, largely in charge. Let's go. Super powerful. But in practice, he was totally outta control. Like he couldn't keep it in his pants at all. I guess his toga, not really his pants. 'cause he didn't wear well maybe he was nude half the time. I don't really know. Basically back to sex. He had sex with anything that moved and made a shit ton of babies, both gods and demi gods. He didn't even care, 'cause he was just hot for women in general. Mortal women goddesses didn't matter. Okay, womanizer. Got it. Moving on. Total male chauvinist. For sure. Okay, so next you have Herra. So if Zeus was the king of the gods, then Herra the queen of the gods, both his wife. And sister mind you, 'cause we need to incest all the way. She happened to be the goddess of marriage and family, which let's be real, is the only reason she stayed with Zeus, after all, was womanizing and cheating in the first place. 'Cause ugh, she was a goddess of marriage. It also helped that she was the queen of revenge and basically took it out on every woman Zeus ever cheated on with. So like, there's that. Wait, you said she was the goddess of marriage? She was, yeah. But she was also the queen of revenge. Yes. So she had, that is ironic. So she stayed with Zeus because she was the goddess of marriage, but it helped that she was the queen of revenge. So she literally took it out on all the, didn't take it out on Zeus, took it out on all the women who decided to Oh, interesting. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Right. Ha, okay. But do you see how this makes sense 'cause like this is what was going on probably in Greek culture. Like shit was happening like this, so they need like idols to, okay, got it. No. Okay. Um, so next we have Poseidon. He was the guy of the sea earthquakes and oddly enough, horses, sort of random how horses are thrown in there. Zeus's brother Poseidon was like the mystery man. Sometimes he was awesome. Other times he would kind of sink a ship. Uh, 'cause he looked at him funny. So kind of bi, not gonna lie. Kinda weird. Okay. Fun fact. Uh, I learned this while I was in Athens. Thank you. Poseidon actually fought Athena to be the patron, God of Athens. Um, obviously Athena won Duh. 'cause you know, Athens, Athena. Otherwise it would be like Po Poseidon. It's not. Okay. So there we go. Next year of Hades, that's Zeus's other brother. He was the oldest in the family. Super dark. Basically got screwed though when they were splitting everything up. Zeus got the guy Poseidon got to see and Hades got the underworld. Oh. And contrary to popular belief, Hades wasn't evil. Everybody thinks of Hades like the devil 'cause it's underworld. But that's not what it was at all. He was a regular older brother, just serious, less wild, protective. Like that was his job, like to protect the afterlife. So he was pretty chill. Never really left the underworlds kept to himself like he did minus that one time. Yeah, he did kidnap Persephone. Um, but other than that, he was a, he was an older brother, but like, people give him like a shit rap. And I think that's bullshit. You make him sound so lovely. He wa oh he was very lovely. Okay. Two more of the original six. So then you have, Demeter, who was Zeus's sister and goddess of agriculture. She's the reason we have seasons, like I said earlier. Okay. Her daughter, Persephone was kidnapped by Hades. We just talked about that. And because she was so sad, Demeter was so sad, she wouldn't let any of the crops grow. So basically that's how Winter was born. Ah, okay. But then Persephone was allowed to come back to visit every year. Hades let her come back to see her mom. And so then Demeter cheers up and voila, you have spring. So like you get the idea, this is how the seasons were bored, thanks to like Hades kidnapping her yeah. This is just like. A lot a brain screw, man. Is this a lot? Yeah, I know, right? It's so crazy. But see, see how this would be helpful if you were sitting in Athens learning all this shit, right? It's true. About why they erected all these temples on these people's be halves. Okay, so then finally there's Hestia, Goddess of the Hearth. not really considered a major player. So this isn't really one of the Olympians, but like, that's my point. Since she was one of the original babies of Krono, I throw her in here. She was quiet and steady, like no drama,, which is probably why there's not a lot of stories about her. She's sort of the introverted one, like holding the family together while everybody else goes bat shit crazy. So in my family, I'm Hestia. Thank you very much. Okay. Um, yay. Okay. Alright, so that's all of Kronos and re's babies. You with me? The six. All right, so now we're gonna do Zeus and all his kids. So first you have Athena, right? So Athena was the goddess of wisdom, strategy, and crafts. I love the crafts. And then here we go with Athens, right? Athena. Athens, okay. The way she was born was kinda wild, not gonna lie. So it goes like this. Zeus had a headache, uh, probably because all the thunderbolts he was throwing. Uh, so he pops to Motrin and 15 minutes later, literally, boom, Athena bursts out of his skull, fully grown, fully armed warrior ready to go. That's one massive headache, Amanda. Seriously. Right. And Athena like we know one way to be born. Yes. She's a total badass. Right. Okay. You know Harry Potter? Of course. Athena is like Hermione Granger, okay. Right. We love Hermione. But in goddess form, of course. Well, I mean, Emma Watson is kind of a goddess. We love Emma Watson. Anyway. Who are we kidding? But you get the idea. Totally. You got it. Okay. On board. I mean, Harry didn't even have to do any work. I mean Athena's born out of his head. Okay. Okay. Uh, next you have the twins, Apollo and Artemis. So Zeus cheats on Herra 'cause I said he was a womanizer, with some hussy, goddess named Alito. And. She was the daughter, by the way, of two other Titans. We won't get into that whole thing. So like Zeus's. Cousin? Cousin. Okay. So I have to keep it incestuous for you 'cause it's really fun for me to do this episode. They basically have Apollo and Artemis. Apollo was the god of the sun music and prophecy. And Artemis was the goddess of the moon, the wilderness, and the hunt. They were like the one or twins, in Hanna. Barbaric or did you grow up with Hbar? I did cartoon. Yeah. Wonder twin powers activate form of an eagle, like yeah, they were like, they were awesome. Okay. Um, okay then Zeus goes back to the back. Sorry. Right. Put her back. Whatcha gonna do? Then Zeus goes back to Hara. So he apologizes or something. 'cause somehow, you know, they have sex again and out pops Aries, god of war. Okay, but not thoughtful tactical war. No, he is like, this is not like Napoleon or anything. This is like messy chaos war. This is like drunk. Bar fight war. This is like bad, right? He's always trying to pick a fight. Aries is an, he's the hothead. He's a dick. Yep. Yes. Even the Greeks didn't like him that much. They respected Athena way more for her brains and tactics and looked for her in times of war than really Aries. Aries was just like the violin. A whole brother, right? He was the one who just started fights to start fights and absolutely. Here we are. Right, right, right. Okay. Yeah. Alright. So a few more. I'm almost done. Yep. So then we'll do Afro I next. So she, of course everybody knows was the goddess of love and beauty. Do you remember my fun fact about Oros balls? Yeah. I really was hoping we were never gonna talk about his balls again, but here we are, and we are. We're doing that I never forget Amanda. Okay. So technically Aphrodite isn't really Zeus's kid. How is she not Zeus's kid? She's really his aunt. How is she his aunt? So when Cronus threw Uranus's balls back into the sea, Aphrodite was born. From the sea foam. Huh? That was created from his junk when it was thrown in there. So she's actually the daughter of Anos making her Kronos sister and Zeus's aunt. Okay. But since she's an important goddess and served on Mount Olympus, it's just easier to think she's zeus's kid and hangs out with all her brothers and sisters. But that's not actually true. And besides let's be honest, it's perfect 'cause it helps with all the love, drama and scandals. Okay. Okay, last but not least, you have Festus and Hermes. So Festus, was hair's revenge baby because Zeus had Athena. Remember how Zeus had Athena out of his brain or whatever. Mm-hmm. So Festus, uh, doesn't have a dad. I guess technically so ha was like, well, if you did it, I'm gonna do it. He was the master blacksmith of Olympus and made all the weapons for everybody. If we're thinking Lord of the Rings dude, he was like one of the dwarves. He lived in the dwarf kingdom. Right. Okay. He handled everything. And then Hermes was the son of Zeus and Nymph Maya, his cousin, uh, and he was the God with those cool, uh, like golden winged shoes. Oh yes, yes. Yeah. Uhhuh. He was the messenger guy and the god of travelers and thieves. 'cause somehow travelers and thieves go together. Don't ask me how was, wasn't he also like the pot stir? He totally was. Was he? Yeah, dude. He was totally the pot stir. You gotta love the pot star. Okay, so that's all of it. Well technically there's one more. There's Essis. Oh, that's right, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. We love esis. Okay, but why? Technically, but because remember when I said there's supposed to be 12, Oh yeah, he's your 13, so he's like by 13, but Hestia isn't really one of that. It's kind of weird, right? Yeah. Okay. So he was born from a mortal woman, a princess actually named, Sam. I might have said that right? Don't shit on me, please. People. The story goes, Hera found out that Sam was pregnant, basically tricked her to ask Zeus to show her his true god form. And when he did, he burned her alive instantly. Oh, So he oopsies and alive her. Yes. He, he did. He oopsy unli her. Absolutely. He was too stupid to know that that would actually happen. Go Zeus, well, he kind of thinks with his Don anyway. Right. We get the idea. So basically before she dies Yeah. Right. It gets gross. This is unbelievable. Before she dies, he rips the unborn baby out of her, and sows it into his leg to keep growing. So it can be born later. Okay. And then a little while later, uh, out pops esis from Zeus's leg. This is so Yeah, I know. It's very random. It is so random. I don't, okay. Okay. Anyway, so he was the god of wine parties and theater. Everybody loves Essis. He's the badass God, right? Let's be honest, like life of the party. Who doesn't want to be around Essis Fair? And, uh, thank you for this. That's it. Who the God and goddesses are done. And I got through 'em all. What is that family tree? Woo of sorts. Yeah. I also just had this like revelation of, we probably learned this sophomore year we did, but I don't even think my brain was fully developed enough No. To even like get a glimpse into understanding any of this. Well, I also think they skipped all the sex parts. 'cause it was sophomore year. Well, okay. Right. Fair, fair, fair. But even that, I mean, just, you have to appreciate it. I think the way that you said, like think of it like poetry does help to, you have to like understand it a little bit better. So I get that they're not really like gods of a religion that the Greece are trying to make sense of everything. Yeah. That they created these beings. And I know that's like to help them deal with life. But how did that really apply in Greek life? If that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I got it. So, yeah. Besides the science, right? 'cause they had to explain like, earth, thunder and earthquake. Lighting. Lighting and earthquakes and all that shit. Earthquake. Then you're right, that we were talking about earlier about sort of cause like the sciency stuff. Yeah. Right. Then we started talking about how they cope with life, and that's why heroin was revengeful and I know you don't love the sex parts, but like, that's the whole point. Greeks were doing this in real life, and so there were problems with all that and they needed to cope with it all. But when you, really break it down on how it actually all played out from, think of like you know, like Myers Briggs, do you know the Yeah. Personality types. Mm-hmm. Okay. The personality types stemmed from these Greek gods, the 16 major personality types. Oh, interesting. Right? Yeah. So Athena, the wise mentor. Hermes. The lovable sort of rogue, dude stirring shit up every the the jokester, right. Esis the friend, convincing you to do tequila shots every night. Like whatever it is. Each one of them sort of has their own personality that helped the Greeks understand who they were dealing with, on a day to day basis. Okay. And so it helped them feel comfortable and safe and know how to deal with the world. Yeah. So they're like bringing about humanities. Oh, totally. Being from the gods in all cases. It was an explanation for life. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So not religion, right. But more so creating like a foundation for storytelling. And I, I like philosophy and relating to the culture of what was happening at the time. This, this is why I bring the sorta of you bring the sophisticated, I mean, I don't know about that. I'm, I'm trying to, trying to make it all make sense in my brain. Well, 'cause sometimes I go off the rails. No, you didn't go off the rails. It was just this a very. Complex thought process. All righty. So I think since we sorted all of that out just a bit, uh, fun facts. Is it time for fun facts. I mean, you gave us a history. We learned what we need to learn. We family, we need to do fun facts. I got nothing else in this brain. Great. Let other, like, we just learned about a whole bunch of, of God guys, just for good time. Let's go. The problem is there's like a million fun. Like I literally could do a million right now, right? Right. So just top 10. Top 10, top 10. That even seems like a lot, but we'll do top 10. We're do top 10. Alright. So number one. Zeus once turned into a golden shower. Okay. Not that kind of golden shower. That's gross. Don't get mad at me. It's like a real golden shower. To seduce Dunne to get her Prego. Yeah. He literally became a cascade of golden light and coins to slip into her locked bedroom and totally do her go. Zeus Gross. I told you he was a total Foid gross. Okay. Number two. Artemis demanded celibacy from all of her followers. No sex celibacy. We love Artemis. Okay. Break that rule. And you would get turned into a deer and hunted down and killed. She wasn't messing around. Okay. Number three. Hermes the messenger guy. Guy. Yeah. So apparently he invented the liar when he was a baby. Like that little wooden thing, the cross between the harp and the guitar. So apparently the day he was born, he snuck out of his crib, found a turtle. Scooped the guts out of its shell stretched it across like the. Frigging shell to make strings to play music with it. And voila, the liar was born. All right. Pretty gross. Interesting. Yeah, I know. Okay, number four. Wanna know where the consolation It's very creative. It sounds really weird. Wanna know where the constellations are? Some major and Ur some minor come from like in the stars. Okay. Yeah. So Athena, I didn't even know it came from the Greeks. Yeah, so Athena had a bestie named Callisto who was also one of Artemis favorite hunters, or should I say? I guess like hunter's. Hunter's, yeah. Whatever. Anyway, like everyone else, she was seduced by Zeus. Sometimes Zeus actually would disguise himself as Artemis. 'cause I guess Callisto went both ways, if you know what I mean. Okay. Anyway, he ultimately did her and they had a son named Arcus. So Artemis or Herra, I'm not sure which one get pissed off. And one of them turned her into a bear. We dunno which one. Oh. But no one ever told her son Arcus. He just thought that she left or died or something. Like his mom just disappeared. So anyway, he grows up and becomes this famous hunter who finds his mom the bear, and right before he kills her, who steps in and saves them both by placing them up in the stars as Ursa major, the Big Bear and Ursa Minor, the little bear. So next time you spot the Big Dipper, you're basically looking at one of Zeus's coverup jobs, huh? Yeah. Interesting. That was it. cause he didn't want the son to kill the mother. Okay. Because it was all his fault in the first place. Fair you with me? Okay. Number five. So Aphrodite was married to Festus, so like how is the hottest God married to like the ugliest? God, I haven't figured that It how works, must have been an arranged marriage. Something fuck was going on. True love is true Love people. Yeah. Anyway, total beauty in the beast. Uh, she hated it. Of course. She ended up having this passionate toward love affair with Aries, God of war. Oh, well Aries. Yeah. Well, Festus eventually found out and made this unbreakable invisible net and snagged them up one night when they were totally going at it, like mid hump. And he dragged them and trapped them naked into Olympus to humiliate them in front of everybody. Huh? Kind of hilarious. Go fest. There's so much drama. Go fest. I love it. Okay, number six. Poseidon actually created horses. So you remember back to like why he was like the god of horses, right. Being the god of seed, just creating horses. Yeah. Okay. So back to the story of, uh, Athens I was mentioning at the beginning. So when Athens was choosing a patron, God, Poseidon, Athena, each gave gifts. Poseidon struck the ground with his Trident producing a saltwater spring, or in some other versions of the story, the first horse. But Athena eventually won the contest with her olive tree and Poseidon was pissed, but the horse gift sort of stuck. So in mythology, Poseidon is credited with creating horses, making him like the OG cowboy, but also not gonna lie, that's kind of a weird flex. Like for the goddessy, it's the irony. Right? Okay. Number seven, Hestia. One of the lesser known, goddesses. One of the OG kids of Crons that we talked about for two seconds. Yep. Uh, totally gave up her throne for esis. Oh yeah, you were asking about that earlier. So technically she was one of the 12, but she hated the drama. So when ESIS was born, needed to see Mount Olympus, Hesia voluntarily gave up her throne to keep the peace among the gods. Mm. Classic older sister energy right there. She stayed in Olympus, but focused instead on tending the eternal fire, symbolizing stability and hospitality basically. Now she's just sort of like the cool aunt that doesn't get into anyone's shit. Fun. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Goddess of the, we like her goddess of the hearth and home. Hestia. Number eight. Wanna know why? Uh, we're so friendly with dolphins like humans and dolphins. Close back to Greek gods. Okay. Yeah. Essis. Okay. So as a young God, Essis was apparently kidnapped by pirates who thought they'd ransom him for a little cash reward, but bad move, they picked the wrong guy. Uh, they thought they could outsmart a God dumb asses. Anyway, Essis isn't having this, so he turns himself into a line, and of course, all the pirates freak out, jump overboard, where he subsequently turns them all into dolphins. Oh. So this is why dolphins are considered so friendly, because they're humans. Humans, humans, right. They're literally repentant pirates. That's the concept. Yeah. I feel like they would be more troublesome if they were. Yeah. Probably. But, okay. And probably talk, like, talk a little bit weirder that Dolphins would have, okay. Uh, number nine, Apollo killed a Python as a toddler. Oh, that's Python. How's that for badass? Yeah. So apparently baby Apollo let's go travel to Delphi. Found a giant python guarding the Oracle sacred site. And since he wanted to get in it, he grabbed a bow and arrow and just shot it. Okay. And then he subsequently claimed Delphi as his temple, making it like the center of Greek prophecy. Thank you Apollo. Oh, interesting. Number 10, Festus Once trapped Herra in a magic throne. Okay, so the story goes that Herra threw him off Olympus for being lame. Like literally. Okay. Festus was like a limp. Right, he a bad luck. He had a bad, okay. Uh, and apparently he was so pissed off that he sent her a throne made of gold as a gift. But when Hara sat on it, magical restraints trapped her to the throne. Locking her in place. Dude, none of the gods could get her free. Eventually ESIS got Festus drunk. Thank you esis. Let's go. You always want him around and convinced him to forgive her and release her from the throne. Wasn't he his mom? Yeah. Huh. Okay. He was pissed at her because she, she, she kicked him off of Olympus. Dude, this is serious shit. So like in I guess regular Greek world. Okay. Down off of Olympus. That'd be like somebody getting kicked outta the house, and it's like, oh shit, how do I get back outta? Okay. Okay. Uh, and finally, last one, Disney's Hercules almost screwed everything up. What? I know Disney doesn't What you mean shot? But they did right. In a hilarious way. So in the movie Hercules is Zeus and Harris's beloved son. Right. But in the, miss Hercules was Zeus's illegitimate kid. And Harris spent most of her life trying to kill him. Huh? Not even, so it wasn't even close. Could you imagine that being a Disney film? Right, exactly. They had to make it look good. And Pegasus the winged horse. Yeah. Totally made up. Oh, Pegas. Pegasus came is not actually a thing. PE No came from Medusa severed neck and Perseus beheaded her. So Disney didn't do all its homework appropriately? Well, I mean, maybe they did their homework and left all that shit out on purpose. Oh, interesting. So none of that was correct. Yeah, maybe that's, maybe that's why flopped. Who knows? I don't know. It did not flop. It is like an amazing Hercules When you think of Disney, you don't think of Hercules in their top 10 ites. There you do. Okay. Apparently you round. Wow. Let's go. Okay. Anyways, you're all in your field. That was a lot of trivia. Yeah, I know it was. It's just too much. But I mean, I guess that is a mythology, right? There's a lot to it. It's a lot of shit coming in here. It's not just like a few facts that we all know. So, look, it was a fun rabbit hole. Okay? Like it was, there were a lot of gods, there was a lot of sex. It was right up my alley. Amanda, what do you want me to say? Well, now if anyone's gonna Greece, they should listen to it. They should absolutely follow up on it. Let's go. Here we go. So you wanna sum it all up for our little what we need to know when we go to Greece? Yeah, we gotta sum this up fast. 'cause this, this has got long. All right. Only one today. Read a book. People read a book. It's called Hess Theo GenY. It's a book length, ancient Greek poem, like basically the family tree and origin story of all the gods. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it was written like in 700 BC and it's one of the earliest works of Greek literature, along with homer's ID and Odyssey. Um, and fun fact, the word, theo literally translates to birth of the gods. Oh, interesting. So there, I'm here for it. It has everything. Like who was born from who, who Overthrew who, why Aphrodite popped outta the sea foam. It's actually pretty easy. It's cool. Like I'd read it. Okay. Okay. Put it on the to-do list. Get it on there. Let's go. And then remember these details that seem sort of sophisticated. The Olympians that ruled Mount Olympus are third gen, first it was Gaia and Iranis then came the Titans, Kronos, and Raya and all their siblings. Then came the Olympians, Zeus and his siblings. Then Zeus, overthrew Kronos in the Titan, a 10 year war with the help from the Cyclops and the a hundred handers. Number two, the Greek gods are messy, flawed, and totally human-like. They fight, cheat, and scheme, which is why their stories have lasted for all these generations. Number three, Greek myths explain nature seasons, our Demeter, grieving Persephone's. Time in the underworld, storms, Zeus, throwing tantrums, earthquakes, Poseidon, just being a cranky ass. Four. All these legends and stories weren't morality tales. They were mirrors of humanity, ambition, jealousy, chaos, and love on a cosmic scale. And finally, the Greek gods gave us personality archetypes we still use today. Athena strategist Hermes, the trickster, Aries chaos, ESIS the wild artist, and Zeus, the CEO with all the scandals. All right, and that's a wrap on our whirlwind tour of Mount Olympus. Proof that the ancient Greeks could turn every storm, tree and family feud into an epic saga. And if we did our job today, you're leaving a little more curious and maybe ready to casually drop off factor two about Zeus's parenting style or Aphrodite scandalous origin story at your next dinner party. If this episode added a little myth, theological flare, by the way, that's, it's mythological. That should be our word of the day. Mythological. It's not mythological. Okay, fine. Mythological. Mythological. Okay. Whatever. Hit, subscribe, leave a review. Or just enjoy feeling smarter than you did, I don't know, 40 minutes ago. And if you leave us a review, you should give us your favorite fun fact because there were a lot today, mine for sure was, Dion, ISIS being sewn into zeus's leg. Like what the actual, um, until next time, stay curious, stay legendary. And remember, even the Gods had family drama, so you're doing just fine. Y'all. Amanda, what? We did not get the word of the day in the app. Oh, we didn't. We blew it. No. Because was we're still, we're still talking. It was about No, it was about being calm. Yes. Right. And you know who that was? Hestia, Hestia. Hestia. Hestia Hestia. Equitable was equitable. She was equitable. Oh my God. We blew it. No. Bye.
