Episode Transcript
All right. Welcome back to sort of sophisticated, the podcast that's supposed to be equal parts, snarky and scholarly. Right. But depending on the episode, 'cause the pendulum could swing pretty hard either way, no promises. I mean it usually does. It does, totally. Here we are. I'm strapping back in for another episode. Amanda, let's go. Hello, everyone. Well, I'm actually excited to see which personality of Pete shows up today. So it's either gonna be the snarky sniper or the studied scholar. Oh, dude, no, totally. First of all, the whipper snapper. First of all, the fact that you could say that, and I don't even get upset anymore, is amazing, right, because I, I know I have, it's true. I have dual personalities here, people. Okay. But today is totally the scholar for sure. Uh, okay, because we got serious shit. We're talking about, like, we're going big today, Amanda. Oh, am I ready? Big, big. I dunno if I'm ready. Oh my God. Holy shit, Amanda. Wait, wait, wait. I gotta talk about something else real quick. What? Like, always. I know. Sorry, I'm interrupting. so do you remember when we did our episode on Beats Without Borders? Like the, the rhythm The Rhythm is gonna get You, you remember this one? Yes. Yeah. Okay. So remember my friend was going to, like, Belgium Uh, did it just happen? Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean,, it sort of happened last week. So check this out, like two days before, the whole festival was supposed to start, I don't know, like last Wednesday or something like that. The whole main stage goes up in flames. Whole thing. The whole main stage. The whole main stage burst into flames. Everything gone. Like firefighters out there trying to figure this all out terrible. They had to rework the whole performance. They totally didn't even close. Tomorrowland, do you know how many people are there? Like trying to watch that whole thing? crazy. Like 400,000 people, they had to like adjust and figure out and move off of main stage my poor friend. I don't even know what, what's going on. Nobody was hurt. Nobody got, like, there was nothing bad that happened. 'cause it's all happened before the whole festival came, began before we got there. Right, right, right. But like, but think about the logistics of redoing, it's a big deal. I can't wait to hear 400,000 people a lot. Honestly. I can't wait till she's home. And I like, I hear this whole story. This is gonna be freaking amazing. Okay. We gotta give us an update to Oh yeah, we'll do live update. Okay. But you Totally had me hooked earlier 'cause you said like we're going big, big. So what are we going big about? Oh my God. Back on track. Okay. Yeah, yeah, you're right. The official title, the Middle East Matchups. Who's backing who when the shit hits the fan. Oh man. So wait, are we doing Israel and Palestine? Like seriously? I thought we agreed we weren't gonna do a political podcast to relax. This is not about Israel and Palestine. Okay. Okay. Way too polarizing. Besides. I'm not smart enough to make this political. Okay, good. Okay. Fair, fair, fair. Okay. So I had this friend text me the other day, Kate Casey. Oh, wait, wait. Is that the one that's like the, she's like a super podcaster. Yes. She podcasts about all the reality TV shows, reality life with Kate Casey. Yes. Go. So she sends me this text, well, aren't you famous If she, you know her. Look at that. Kate Casey, shout out. yeah. So she's like, you should do an episode on the relationship between all the countries in the Middle East, because it would get a ton of interest. Oh, okay. Yes. So, so we're not politicizing anything? Not at all. We're just educating Ourselves and learning. That's what, and being cultured and curious Absolutely. As to about all the alliances. Okay. All the relationships. How it all works in the middle. Least. 'cause like I figured I should learn about it all first 'cause I don't know shit. And then subsequently report back, uh, all my sort of sophisticating findings. Fair. This is awesome because as we all know, I did not do any homework for this and I am not at all historically up to date on any of that historically. Ready for all this action? No. Mean no, no. Like, I wanna know all the history. I want. What? Oh, I just don't, I have an idea. I'm like that naive child. Let's call, let's call K Casey. She probably knows all this shit. She's into this stuff. I don't know. I have an idea. Here's the deal. We'll record it. If it sucks, we'll scrap it and we're gonna put it in the archives or something so no one can ever find it until we're dead. Then of course we'll get famous. Um, 'cause everybody of course gets, everyone gets famous. Let's see. Famous after they die, right? And then one of our family members will try to release it, like it's one of our Okay. Vault episodes and, uh, make residual income. I love that, that how's how positive you are. Here we go. Let's, let's go, all right, so we're just gonna go for it, but I'm just the one who's gonna be asking questions over here. So can I just start um, let's see. I'm assuming you're gonna tell us how learning about all this is gonna make us more culture and curious. Oh yeah. You totally kidding. We can, we can start there. Um, I was thinking like, on the way over here about that whole question, cultured and curious. Isn't anything that we do, just anything we learn at all. Just making us cultured and curious in general. Like do we really need a reason? Why is this gonna make me cultured and curious? I don't think it's a reason. I think we just like call it out and point it out. Okay. So people understand. Okay, fine. Because I was like, everything's learning. And if we're learning, it's cultured and curious. Okay. cause I don't think people realize they're being cultured and curious. Okay, fine. So then I'm gonna answer it officially then. All right. Let's just get outside the box. Right. And Figure out that the world doesn't center around America all the time. Everybody has a different view. Countries have different views. People have different views. Like that's what we said we wanted to make the whole podcast about anyway, in the first place. I think it was like varying perspectives and value. I mean, I know we don't say it all the time anymore, but that's how it started. Like if you go back, it's about varying perspectives and values. 'cause we live in a bubble, right? It's all connected. It's our bubble. And by the way, didn't we just drop bombs on Iran I mean, so like, who's on their side? I don't know. Do you know who's on their side? We should know who's on their side. Well, and then the only what I know right, would be through mainstream media, which I don't think is always necessarily, should be our best source of information. Correct? Correct. I think we need, again, the cultured and curious comes into play right where you go, huh. That was interesting information on the news. Bingo. Bingo. I'm gonna learn a little more. Okay. That's what we're gonna do. And it's, look, it's not even just about war and stuff, it's about religion and history. Like all their power dynamics over there, just like, and all the other shit. It all fits together. I have an idea. You know how it makes you cultured? I'll tell you how it makes you cultured. Learning how this affects your gas prices, that's how it makes you cultured. Okay. Done. It's very loyal oil. There we're cultured. Bingo. Let's go. Okay, let's go. Can we start? Yes. Okay. We can totally start. Um, but is frenemies gonna be our word of the day then? Because. I, I feel like that just kind of sums up the whole dynamic. Okay. That's actually a good one. Frenemies. But that would be way too easy because then we would just be like spouting out frenemies every two minutes. It's gotta be harder. Okay. That's the whole point. Okay. Today's word is winsome. Like winsome and lose some. You're so stupid. Oh my god. You know what you are. Is that not it at all? That was so ose. That wasn't even funny. Oh my God. So it's an adjective winsome that comes from the old Wellsome. I mean, that would be an adjective. Sorry. Continue. Continue honey. Loose. Some is not lonesome. Not lose some winsome. Lose. Winsome is one word. W-I-N-S-O-M-E. Winsome. Okay. It's an adjective that comes from the old English, meaning charming in a sweet or childlike way. Kind of like me. I'm Winsome. I'm sorry. Stay opposite day. Really? You're doing that again to me. Oh, I hate you so much. Oh, it came around like a boomerang from last week. Look at that. Boom. Okay. No, actually, today is not opposite day. Okay. Okay. Today is perfectly normal day. You were just so charming and sweet. Like today, I am a childlike way Today. I am. Okay. A cherub Look, you started by asking me which personality's showing up. Okay, great. Fair means so some personality showing up there. Fair enough, fair enough. And for this topic, I think that's probably the right personality. That's what we need. Okay. So we're gonna start this thing. Yeah, let, let's go. And, we're not doing history of the Middle East? No way. Because I think there's too much there. Way too much. But we're like you know what I'm gonna do to you? I am going to start in history and since it's like the oldest place on the planet, but it's like not history of the Middle East. I'm doing, it's a very specific history. Strap it in, Amanda. This is gonna be a nine hour episode. Here we go. Okay. So here's how we're gonna start. 'Cause I, I thought about this 'cause I had to do like a lot. Well, yeah, I had to do a lot of like, because you don't want a nine hour episode sl? No, we don't. Okay. We're gonna do it like we're drafting teams. Oh Lord. Okay. So I'm gonna sort of give the idea about who's in it with who? Just like a team. Okay. If you draft a team. Yeah, same idea. Okay. Okay. Because it was the only way I could really wrap my head around it and understand what was going on in the Middle East and find out like who lines up with who and why. Okay. Fair. And if you break it down like that, it sort of makes sense. Okay. All right. Let's go. So we're gonna start with, um, team Saudi Arabia. We're gonna call that just Team Saudi from now on. Okay. Okay. Saudi Arabia. These guys are the traditional US allies. Team Saudi includes Saudi Arabia, duh, uh, uh, United Arab Emirates. Right? Okay. UAE, Bahrain, Egypt, Jordan. And surprise Cameo Israel. Um, they're considered the SUNY Stronghold. I'm sorry, the what the SUNY Stronghold is, but that's a religion, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like basically this whole thing's about religion, right? So basically a sect of Islam, i'll explain it in a minute. Just bear with me. Okay. Okay. Okay. So these guys are all about stability, business interests, and keeping Iran in check. So technically Amanda, they don't even like each other all the time, but they like Iran even less so. It's not like Saudi Arabia and Israel hold hands, like in public or anything, but they're definitely texting each other like really late at night, if you know what I mean. Right. Okay. So I think I'm this back channel shit. I getting this a little. Yeah. Yeah. So basically they're not besties, right. But we're totally gonna be on the same team if Iran shows up. We are kind of besties. Yes. Okay, got it. So keep going. Okay, good. So the next you have team Iran. The Shia Stronghold. So you have the Sunni Stronghold. The Shia Stronghold. Right. So, uh, Iran's got Syria, Hezbollah in Lebanon, and the Houthis in Yemen. And so, but aren't those different group sectors? They are so not countries. They're not countries, yeah. Yeah. We're gonna talk, yeah, yeah, we're gonna talk about That's what I mean. It's easier to just give you sort of the teams. Got it. Yes, you are absolutely correct. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, and they even got a little influence in Iraq because Iraq is split, like Yeah. So that one's wild. Their vibe is kind of like, uh, we're gonna like fight you anywhere, anytime, but uh, just through somebody else. 'cause we're not gonna do it directly or anything 'cause we're way too cool for that. So. Okay. That's how like Wron works, but yeah. Whoa. Wait. So explain Hezbollah and the Okay. You're right. They're what you would call proxy groups, which basically is a sophisticated way to mean like they fight on behalf of someone else bigger than them. So Hezbollah is a, a Shia militia. And a political group based in Lebanon. And the Houthis are a rebel group based in Yemen, also Shia, neither run a country, but they got like weapons and fighters and a bunch of influence and all that kind of stuff. So they're important. Make sense? Like all this tracking Yeah. Then no, no tracks. But wait, You said the SUNY Stronghold Yes. Earlier and now you're saying the she is stronghold and you said you were gonna explain it. Okay. Are we explaining it now? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This is perfect, right? I just wanted to make sure, 'cause I wanted to get through both of 'em. So here we go. So the religion of Islam has two major branches, Sunni and Shia. Right. So Sunni has about 85 to 90% of all the Muslims worldwide, and Shia has about 10 or 15%. So it's like super unbalanced. Uh, they both follow the teaching of the Prophet Muhammad, but they split after his death over who should keep leading the Islamic faith. So Sunni's thought that Muhammad's BFFs should be like the leaders, and the Shias thought that it should be Mohammad's son-in-law, Ali, and keep it all in the family. So totally different like ideas of where it was supposed to go after Mohammad died and here we are like 1400 years later, still fighting over it. Oh, okay. Got it. Kind of, yes. Okay. But wait, another question. Yes. What, so why does then Iran have all this power? Like why are they the captain of one of the teams? Like are they. Like a higher percentage. Oh, they're just that good man. Okay. Good question. No, I had no idea either. No, no, no. Good question. So basically Ron, had learned to be what you would call, um, masters of the proxy war. Okay. So basically they're just sponsors of everybody else and everybody else does all their dirty work for them while they just like sit in the back, like Hezbollah and the Houthis that we were just talking about, they got like super smart. They're super strategic and they have the Shia majority, which totally matters. Um, they also have missiles. So think about it this way. They basically have ideology, super strong in their ideology, other people aren't as strong strategy and weapons, which quote unquote equals street cred in the Middle East, Okay. That's like, so then we have two Saudi Yes. The Sunnis and we have Team Iran, the Sheas. Yes. Is there anyone else in this? Okay. Yes. Playbook? Yes. There's one more team. Okay. Last team is just like, I'm gonna call them a bunch of wild cards, um, we will call them a team. It's complicated, depending what day it is. Got it. 'cause it is, right. So they basically do whatever they want whenever they want to. Okay. And they're made up of Turkey, uh, Qatar, Iraq and Oman. And this group is uh, the middle child Like, please never make us pick a side. But by the way, we're also gonna look out for ourselves too. So they're not like oldest child who's super opinionated and baby super opinionated. They're like right in the middle, especially Turkey. Okay. Because like they've been everywhere, they've been fighting Assad, they've been flirting with Russia, they are cosing up to Cutter and um, casually rebuilding the Ottoman Empire while they're at it. Oh, I have questions about that, but we won't go there right now. Okay. Okay. So we got three teams. Three teams, big playing field. Totally. So, so let's get to the game, right? What's the game? For the record, I only said it's easy to do this with drafting teams. I don't know how to make this into a game now, like a three game. Bang on the field, that's gonna be really hard. I mean, yes. And I'm sure it's messy. And I'm sure people hate others. Yes. Alright. Clearly. So we'll do that. We'll do who? Hey too. Here we go so obviously you have like Team Saudi and team Iran, classic Sunni versus Shia. Like oil versus oil. Like power versus power, like major, major rivalry. Right? The next, you basically have Israel versus everyone. 'cause um, everybody thinks Israel stole land that wasn't theirs. And that's a whole nother episode by itself. But that's way too sophisticated for us right now. So we're not doing that one. And who are we kidding? Half the country secretly admire Israel anyway, right? They just won't admit it. Um, and then last you have Turkey. Turkey is really sneaky. Okay. So basically all you need to know is team, Saudi against team Iran, Israel sitting over in a corner, causing problems and Turkey causing problems. Major players. Got it. Okay. So it goes something like this. Basically Iran, doesn't just operate from inside its own country. It uses groups in other countries to gain power, like we were talking about earlier. Right, right. Yeah, yeah. Right. And then of course, Saudi Arabia and others have to respond accordingly. And that's sort of just the basis of the whole Middle East. So. It looks like this spiderweb of smaller fights when really it's just the Sunnis versus the Shia. Like moving all the pieces all the time on the chessboard. Oh, interesting. Yeah, that's all this is. Okay. Okay. But this is going on all over the place, right? Yes, it's going on in Yemen and Iraq and everywhere. Everywhere in the, but it's the same core problem. That's it. Which is religion. It's not, yes, it's not country. Inviting country at all. Yeah. Yeah. Groups. Groups within the country. Yes. Okay, so example, so in Yemen right now you have the ties. That's what I was just explaining to you. Right? So they're backed by Iran. They're not their own country. Right, right. And they're fighting the Yemeni government right now. And the Yemeni government is backed by the Saudis or the Sunnis. Right. If this is making sense, yes. Okay. Both are just pawns. They're just playing it out in Yemen. Like that just sucks. They're just using Yemen's country to do it. And then you have Lebanon where Hezbollah basically just is like iran's branch manager, like Michael Scott in the office, right. In Scranton, Pennsylvania. So that way Iran has closer access to Israel should shake it outta control. And they need to shoot some missiles at him because Lebanon is right above right there. Yep. Is right. So It's all controlled by either team Saudi or Team Iran. Okay. Okay. In Syria. Assad's still in charge thanks to Iran and Russia, because during Syria Civil War, Iran and Russia like helped him stay in power even though everybody else wanted him gone. And meanwhile, Turkey controls part of Northern Syria. And of course it's backed by the Saudis in this case. So Syria's kinda like a total mess. It isn't just like a country anymore, like all by itself. It's become like this multilayered battlefield for like Iran, Russia, Turkey, the United States, even some others. So basically like. A bunch of proxy wars going on all over the place, like you just said, in this huge spiderweb with team Iran and Team Saudi trying to assert their dominance over the Middle East. Okay. I know it's complicated, but is it making sense? I mean, it kind of is, right? It's also all these other, they're all just little players in it. Sure. Yeah. But it's also terrifying. Okay, Um, bigger question. Yeah. What, Like I know why it's important, I know why all of this matters, but is there a way that we can take this big deal that's happening and like boil it down a little bit? So in a way that maybe we can all understand how it affects us in the us. Um, 'cause I mean, I feel like everyone just is trying to buy gas and not start World War iii. And even though that seems like so stupid and minuscule, there's. I'm sure more to it. Yeah. No, I get it. You're trying to say, look, I know it matters, but we're half the world away, so, what's going on here? Right, right. I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. We're all connected. We're all connected. Yes. There you go.. So like, the world's smaller than you think, so we're affected in like three fundamental ways. Okay? So first, like you said, the gas thing, right? It's energy prices. So the Middle East has some of the world's largest oil producers, and wars in fighting all the time. Screw that up. And then we have this huge shortage of oil, which subsequently leads to higher gas and energy prices in the United States. So it doesn't matter, right? Because they control the flow. It sucks, right? Fair. Yes. That's a big piece of it. But when it comes to life or death, I mean, the price of gas is like, eh. It's, I mean, it's not because it affects people, lower incomes. I get it. Yeah. Yeah. It affects jobs, it affects refineries, affects it's a million things.. You don't the infrastructure, that's what I'm saying. It's not just, you are correct. Our gas prices. Thank you. Thank you. Correct. It's way bigger than that. Um, second is our military, right? When you think about it, like, we have to send troops over there. And we have to build bases and then we have to stock all those bases and then we have to manage all the logistics so we can have alliances in that area to make sure we protect our interests and all that costs Americans a shitload of money in tax dollars. And not to mention like the toll it takes on our military from being over there for so long. Like it's a big deal. It's hard on them. It's hard on the families lives. It sucks lives. It's lives. People die. It stinks. Fair. Alright. And then third, we should care 'cause of like global security and I guess just terrorism in general, right. Unpopular for some people but like real, we have to make sure extremist groups don't gain enough power to do something shitty and then threaten American interests or we're screwed. So like it or not, we kind of have to care about that kind of stuff. Absolutely. And I don't think, again, we all fully realize the full implications, right. Of what happens over there and how it affects us. No, because I mean, I think everyone knows, okay, we got gas prices, right? We put our head stay. We half the, we're, we're, we're an ocean away. Oh my God. Hamilton. Oh yeah, we're in no, no way. Yeah, no, no way. I don't even know. But you get the point, right? So I get that it's easy, I'm not saying we have to run over there and do something about it. What I'm saying is care enough. Pay attention to what's going on. 'cause it it matters. Yeah. It goes back to one of our other episodes, where're like vote. Yeah. Care. Pay attention. Yeah. We talk about foreign policy. Listen. So if we were to start listening Yes. And we were to open up a news app tomorrow, like what should people be looking for? Um, or like upcoming watch outs. Like how do we, oh shit. How do we get more of like a pulse on it? Good. Well, I like that segue. That was good. I know it's also news, like that's also the news apps. I will say make sure that you're understanding the source that you're getting information from. Like there's this like really cool math XY. Chart, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, where it shows where different medias like lie on, oh my God, on the far left or what far, what should do, we should post that far, you know, up or down. Right. Can we post that on our website or something? We probably can. Yeah. Let's post it. Right? Because, 'cause I, I, on your socials, I was just talking to one of my buddies at work about how to get unbiased news sources. Yeah. Um, which I think is totally cool. So I subscribed to two of them. Uh, I think one's, uh, 14 40 Um, and another one's tangle, I think I told you about Tangle. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like, it gives both opposing views and then Oh, I love that. Like, that this is a new thing, especially like on like TikTok and Instagram, right? Yeah. I like finding the both sides. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. So let's do like, the few things that are on the hot list that could bubble up, so the next time you scroll, you know what you're looking for. Okay. Are you ready? Yep um, so the first one is, believe it or not. We were just talking about the whole team Saudi, team Iran. Lately they have been having this pretend like friendship going on. Like that's been in the news, they got a bromance. Okay. They're faking being best friends right now. So we just talked about how they're on completely different sides, right. And as of late, if you read anything in the news, it's like, oh my God, look at them. They're being best friends. Okay. Uh, they just reopened embassies in both, um, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, and then in Tehran last year. But they're still yelling at each other and sending drone strikes, so I don't think that's gonna last very long. So why are they just pretending to be BFS? Right? Because It's all, it's all a facade, man. It's all, it's all politics. And I, I don't, you said it earlier, I don't farewell in politics. It was the, what'd you call the frenemies? Yeah, that's, keep your enemies, keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Yeah. Okay. So if you see the words like diplomatic setback or talks suspended, um. Buckle up because the oil market is gonna go bonkers. Okay. Yeah. So it's all a little facade. You with me? Yep. Okay. Um, the next one is the whole Red Sea and the Horus shipping lanes thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was like recent too. Yes, it is. Yeah. Yeah. So if you don't know the Strait of Hormuz Right. For any listeners, it's uh, super important. 'cause something like 25% of the world's oil goes through that every day. Don't quote me on it, I don't know, but I'm pretty close. It's like 25%. So any headline about like missile attack on a tanker or naval escort in the Gulf of Hormuz means like shipping insurance is, uh, gonna get more expensive. Wait, hold on. Okay. What So basically, does that mean? if. we hear missile in the Gulf, we all should just be prepared that our airfare is gonna go up. Again, it's related to fuel, but yes. Perfect. I mean, it's not just the gas in the cars, that's it. And people don't Even think twice about that. They're like, why? Why did it get more expensive? Bingo. You nailed it. Okay. Um, another one would be all the proxy hotspots we were talking about. Remember all that kind of stuff. Yeah. So Yemen, Lebanon, Syria. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Even northern Iraq, uh, any spike in rocket launches, drone strikes, or mysterious explosions usually means Team Saudi and team Iran are starting shit somewhere again. And remember just not in the same room. Um, also I think it's funny 'cause we're talking about team Saudi and Iran never being in the same room together. Right. And it reminds me of Hamilton, 'cause everything reminds me of Hamilton and how they had to be in the room where it happens. The room when in this case they don't want to be in the room where it happens. Right. They wanna be in opposite rooms. Okay. Then the last one is to watch the money trail 'cause that's The big one, right? Specifically watch for Gulf Sovereign wealth funds like the PIF uh, public Investment Fund of Saudi Arabia, dumping billions of dollars into like flashy projects or US tech startups. So, It's their way of buying protection and power, but sort of make it look like they're just trying to get rich. Um, they did it with Uber. And they did it with Lucid Technologies. So just pay attention to stuff like that. It means that they're making moves, right? And they wanna make sure they have our backing that's a big one. So follow the money trail. Always follow the money trail. You got money? Yes. No, no, no. I know. And that one's a little bit harder to look for, but again, if you're paying attention to it at least means you'll see red flag. They'd be like, wait a second. Why is there cash being poured in Bingo? They're up to something. Oh, I, I guess, I guess I know I said that was the last one, but also watch out for Turkey or Qatar or even Iraq. Any of them from like team. It's complicated guess. Okay. Also, just because it's sort of sophisticated, what, I know you keep saying Qatar, but I think a lot of people may realize that it's like, say it as Qatar either way. So just. Yeah, friend who's listening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so like, who's that? I think there's actually, I think I looked it up once, there's no right way to pronounce it because there's no way to translate it in the English language. So the English language decided that it was easiest to say Qatar. So there are folks that say, cutter, that's what I got used to. Don't get me wrong, I'm not necessarily even saying it right. I just know that there's actually no formal translation. Okay. Yes. Yep. So I think just wanted to point it out. Yep. Either way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, my point of this is like, if any of those countries announce an operation in another country, um, some shit's about to go down because what they're saying is. They're basically sending a notice to Team Saudi or to team Iran. Don't fuck with us. We're still here. You need to pay attention to us. And, the code terms you're looking for is, oh, well, Turkey just started an operation in this other country. Oh, okay. Bullshit. Something's going on. They're flexing big ass muscles. You with me? Yeah. I mean, that's a lot though. It is a lot. Right? It's emotionally a lot. It's a lot to, okay. Does like. Did I do some justice to sort of like how shit is put together? Yeah. Yeah. Like I think the bottom line, right? Maybe is like you skim the headlines for these kind of things and look like you're sort of sophisticated, uh, and know what you're talking about. A happy hour when everyone's talking about the news and world relations. Oh my God, I don't know. You know what I wanna be doing in happy hour. Checking out Chis. Oh my God. Sorry. Nope. My bad. Can't say that you don't lemme say anything. Why do you censor me on air? This is so, I don't, first of all, this should be a sensorless. You can leave it in. This should be sensorless. I mean, besides our tension, there's a lot of global tension. This one episode. Oh my god. You know, we are, what I didn't realize we're Team Saudi against Team Iran over here. Oh, there we go. This is it. Yeah. Oh my God. I'll be team Iran. Okay, fine. Okay. But wait, I do have one more question. If the United States were to really go to war with Iran, who are we fighting? I mean, who's taking Iran's side for sure. I think I know 'cause we again, kind of went through it, but maybe just go through it one more time so it's crystal clear for our listeners. Okay. Actually, that's a good way to sum things up. So if the US were to go to war with Iran, we're not just fighting them, of course we'd also be fighting or dealing with like everybody under team Iran that we already talked about, like that umbrella. So Hezbollah, the Houthis, any pro Iran militias in Iraq, right? There's a whole bunch in there. Um, possibly Assad's regime in Syria. We talked about, um, Russia. They might not fight us directly. Uh, but they definitely back Iran, politically or like with weapons. And then probably China, like, they probably wouldn't go to war with us outright, but they would totally make it a lot harder for the US through trade and like all sorts of stuff like that. So it's kind of a big deal. There'd be some serious sides taken. That's why nothing is like actually like totally happened yet. Right. Well, now that I know what to doom scroll for and what clues to look for. Yeah. Uh, are we gonna like, lighten it up before my brain melts? And, you know, I have a, my brain melted anxiety crisis over here. My, my brain already melted researching this whole freaking episode. Okay, so we're just about, this was already complicated, but like no missiles. Fun Facts. Inbound. No missiles. There you go. I promise. Let's go. Um, this is all just fun facts about the Middle East. Okay. I didn't like it. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's, I kept it like fun. Alright. Did you know that the world's first written language came from the Middle East? Really? Yeah, totally. Yes. It was called Cuni Formm and it was developed in ancient Mesopotamia Modern a rock. Yes. Around 3,200 bc and it's considered the first known writing system. Look at that. Okay. Also Q form, like in our, um, call to action stuff, I think everybody should look at an ancient map. Okay. And figure out. I like that. You know, like as you just said, that was modern day Iraq. I'm like, huh. Yeah. Interesting. You know what else we should do that I just thought of, you just prompted me. You could just chat GPT it probably, we should do, like, which nations are like friendly to each other in the Middle East and which ones have tension. Mm. And so like, it would probably draw you a nice little map of, you know. Uh, a dotted line represents tension. A solid line represents like, and you would just know, like, yeah, how cool is that? Like, oh my god. Okay. Um, alright, number two, how about this one? Did you know that coffee was invented in the Middle East? Coffee? Yes. I think I did know this one. The earliest records of coffee drinking came from Yemen. In the 15th century. That's 14 hundreds people. Apparently it spread through Islamic culture via folks known as Sufi mystics. They were like monks. Okay. Right. So yeah, you can thank the Middle East for your little, like venti half every, half, half triple shot every morning. Espresso, decaf. I don't even know what the fuck I'm saying. Okay. Number three, did you know the Middle East is home to the oldest, continuously inhabited cities on planet Earth. Thank you very much Damascus. Syria. Aleppo in Syria and Jericho in Palestine, have been lived in some, say Amanda, for over 10,000 years. Wow. Longer than China. That's crazy. Okay, so I looked this up. Yeah. Do you know what lived I do? Yeah. I only knew No. Because of why my trip What? Mammoth? Mammoth Wooly mammoths. Yeah. We went to the mammoth site. Yeah. Saber-tooth Tigers. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And their people were living there. I know that's excellent. Okay. Now you wonder why Israel and Palestine are fighting, but there's history, right? There's so much true that we, 'cause it goes back. You can, but we can't comprehend it. We're in America especially, especially to a country that's only 250 years old, by the way. Right. We're so little Totally fun. Fact off topic. We are celebrating the 250th anniversary. Of the United States starting and theoretically now. Oh. So like next July 4th we're celebrating, but we're, in the year. In the year. Yeah. So if this was Disneyland, we'd be celebrated like, this is it. That's true. I don't know what they call that. The SEC was sequential. I don't know. It's se It's a big one. It's a big word. Oh. We might have to look that shit up. We're not sophisticated. All right. Number four. The Middle East gave us our first legal system. How do you like that? Oh, interesting. The code of a Rabi. Okay. In Babylon in 1750 BCE. Yes. It's one of the oldest legal codes ever discovered. It's where the phrase an I for an I came from. It's also where we get divorced from. Really? Figure. Yes. Absolute. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Cool. Yeah, it was, I, I looked this whole thing up. There's a lot of stuff. Fun fact that we used. Yeah, no, that was cool. Fun fact. Okay. Number five, the Middle East is where algebra was invented. Algebra. So basically we're just gonna say like everything came from the Middle East. Well, because it was so like it's been forever. But also could you not like, I mean to me it's like the things that we should be appreciating. Yeah. Right? Like, I don't know. Our whole legal system are the first. We're not appreciating it. No, no, nothing. 'cause we're too busy worried about all the other shit going on. But even that, I think we just take it for granted. You know what Amanda? This is why more people need to listen to sort sophisticated. Yeah, that's probably true. Right? 'cause even algebra. Yeah, even algebra. There's algebra. There's more to algebra than just Algebra as we know it. It's from the Arabic word. Did you know Al Jabbar? I did not. Al Jabbar. Oh, okay. Al Jabar. All right. Yeah. And it was introduced by the Persian scholar Al jure me in the ninth century. Wow. So ninth century. Ninth century. Yeah. We have the Middle East to thank for like wine masks sucks. Let's go. Let's go. And then finally, falafel. How about falafel? I love falafel. Right. So no one knows where it actually came from. But we know for sure it was somewhere in the Middle East. Apparently the origin of falafel is still hotly debated. Oh really? Egypt, Lebanon, Palestine and Israel all claim it and say they invented it and no one is backing down. That's why there's so much fighting in the Middle East people. That's all you need to know. It's about falafel. Look at that. Even the chickpeas are controversial over in the Middle East. I figure. I mean, not to make light of it. But there is pride. There should be pride. Yes. Right. I love falafel. Oh my gosh. I love that. All right, that's all I got. Those are my fun facts. Fun facts out. Well, now that I officially feel smarter and hungrier now, 'cause I wanna go get some falafel, I'm totally hungry. Um, I think it's time we bring it home so we can go hit up dinner. Yeah, let's do it. So you wanna hit us up with some takeaways so we can sound sophisticated at dinner or, uh, just maybe slightly annoying on group chats. Fine. Let's go. Call to action. First of all, the map. You said the ancient map. Just look it up. Look up the ancient map or two, uh, hit Chachi PT and say, give me the relationship between Middle East country's friend or foes. That will be awesome. And then I would say, uh, back to news sources. Remember we were talking about like tangled da da da, American news sources. I would say follow a news source outside the us like BB, C, world News or Al Jazeera, like in English. Like they actually explain like the why. Behind what's happening in the Middle East. Give like, oh, interesting. They give good context. Okay. It's not, it's not like here, it's just good getting another source. Um, or if that's not your thing, try listening to a Global Affairs podcast. We recommend Pod Save the World or PACS Britannica for really smart, accessible foreign affairs breakdowns. Like nothing like what we do here, solid bricks. This is serious stuff. Right. And then finally, just remember these relevant details to seem sort of sophisticated. First the Middle East isn't just one big conflict. It's a bunch of like layered alliances, rivalries, and old grudges. And there are three main teams. We have Team Saudi, the US backed traditionalists. We have Team Iran, the Shia powerhouse with proxies everywhere. And then we have team. It's complicated, AKA, the wild cards like Turkey cutter and Iraq who do their own thing. Uh, second Shia versus Sunni isn't just a religious split. It's the root of political power plays that shape everything from who gets support to who gets bombed. It all is based in religion, but it's all about power. Third proxy wars are everywhere in Yemen, Syria, Iraq, Lebanon, and they're all basically Iran and Saudi Arabia playing the real world board game, if you remember called Risk, but using like other people and other countries to do it right. Like I grew up playing risk. I, I know it's not a popular game anymore. Um, and finally. Yes. Amanda. This affects us all through gas prices, US military involvement, and global security. We need to care because like we said, everything is connected. Well, all right, friends, that's it for this week's episode. If you learn something new, laughed maybe once or now, feel vaguely inspired to casually drop proxy war into a conversation without causing a diplomatic incident. Then we did our job. You know what I would say? I would say if they laughed at all, like we did pretty good because that was weird stuff we were talking about and trying to make it like chill and not political and just sort of give people the background of what's going on. So, right, and just remember, I don't know. You don't have to become a foreign policy expert overnight. Hell no, we're not. But understanding how these relationships work helps the world feel a little less random. Yeah. You know, a little more Right. Do a little more cultured. Come on now. Um, so if you like this episode, share it with a friend who still thinks all Middle East conflicts are just about oil. And hey, people, subscribe, follow, leave a review, share it with your friends. Anything, or just bring up sort of sophisticated next time someone pretends to know what's going on in Iran. I don't care how you spread this. Okay. We just appreciate you're here trying to make sense of all this complicated stuff with us and going on this journey together. Thank you. Yes, thank you. And until next time, stay curious, stay human. And if all us fails, just blame cutter and walk away. Poor cutter. Why are we throwing cutter under the bus?
