Episode Transcript
Well, hello there to anybody listening out there in a podcast listening land. Welcome back to sort of sophisticated. That's right. I said, sorta with an a let's not forget that Amanda, the podcast where we're committed to digging up the most fascinating stories we can find. To make you the most interesting person at your holiday party. I'm Pete and And I'm Amanda. And I'm the one who's gotta fact check Pete all the time just in case because he is a level 7 liar. So You're welcome. Everyone's welcome. Don't give me a hard time. I'm going all archaeologist over here, digging up facts, and you're giving me grief. Not grief, I'm just calling it out like it is. Maybe instead of accusing me all the time of level 7 lying, Start digging with me a little bit, huh? Hey, hey, hey, I do as much digging as I can. Really? But let me remind you that I am the editor, engineer, IT specialist, marketing manager, and I have a day job. And, oh yeah, P. S., have kids. So, settle down over there. You just sometimes Oh my god, you just killed me. You just kind of like, extend the truth a little. So we're just, you know Why do you do this to me? Why do you have to like, flex? Oh my god, apparently you're also the Christmas studio decorator. What is going on? I love this. Job well done. It feels like festive in here now. Right? It's totally like T Swift inspired with all the disco ness. Ah, you did so good! Thanks! I did my best. Did you do this, like, when I wasn't here? Like, what is this all about? It's all about Christmas. Duh. Totally. Do you decorate at home? Of course I decorate. Dude, my kids don't, like, do anything. So this year, wait, can we go sad? Okay. For a minute? Okay. Uh, I spent four days, like, through Thanksgiving. Like Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, decorating the entire house by myself. No kids, no one helped. The tree that they had already set. They were out doing something? And so you just wanted to do it alone? Or did you offer to do it with them? Oh, no, no, they just weren't around and time was up and I needed to decorate and I had a moment I right. Yeah, so I know at one point it will be festive and I will be happy doing it because it will make me But it was uh, it was hard and I had a minute You can always invite your second family over. I could we'd come over. So who is the decorator at your house? We all do it. Really? Yeah, is it our I'm assuming it's done mostly. Yes. Yes. Yeah You But you're like in charge of like pulling it out and saying no, Trump pulls it out. Wow. All right. Good work. He pulls it out Let's go big Get I don't know everyone kind of has a little part that they do and proud of together like that's super cool that like Yeah, but now it makes it worse because like that may not be the case one day. Yeah. No, welcome to my world Yeah, yeah. No, I'm like, let's let's not get this all sad cuz this is gonna be a good fun app But yeah, I had a minute It's all good But I guess that's a good segue. Why is that a good segue? Uh, because our topic today is about Christmas and Santa. Well, sorta. Uh, of course. Everything is sorta. Like, everything is sorta with us, right? It has to be. Duh. Sorta. Um, but it's actually about Santa's evil twin. Not Santa. Santa had an evil twin? Oh, I'm, I'm interested. What are we talking about? Have you heard of Krampus? I have. So you know that he's like the evil version of Santa. Oh, totally. Oh no, I had not. So is it true that he's basically this huge, hairy, scary thing that looks like an even freakier version of the abominable snowman? Totally. I love this guy. What? You love him? Yes! No, he's so weird. He comes up on my For You page all the time on TikTok. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lying. Huge, freaky looking goat horns dancing down the streets of Norway. Dude, it's totally scary. Reminds me of Stranger Things. And the Upside Down. Have you seen Stranger Things? I have. Okay, so like there's Santa, who would be like in normal land and then like in the upside down. Whoa. You would have Krampus. Hello. I love it. All right. That's true. I could see that. Okay. But it's basically all in one world and he's, there's a good guy and then there's a bad guy. Yeah. Well, yeah. It's not really in like the upside down. It's right. We're all in the same world, but Yes, correct. Mundo. No, but he's like the devil. I have an idea. I'm, he looks like the devil. He does. Oh, he, he looks like he looks scarier than the devil, in my opinion. Um. I'm gonna go full Krampus when I get home. No, stop it. Don't do that. Yes! No! I'm redecorating my house. No, no. Krampus style. No, no, no. Yes! I think that's a great idea. Screw Christmas. I was pissed anyway that I had to decorate by myself. I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna change all the decorations and scare the shit out of my kids. Okay, I'm doing that. Um, but before I do that. That's very tragic, please don't. Okay, so wait, before I do that, Can you explain to anyone listening who, or I guess, What Krampus actually is, really? Yes, because I did have to research, Cause he just freaked me out so much. I was like, enthralled with his ugliness, I guess. Um, so I guess the basics, maybe? We'll start with the basics. Go, go. Okay, so, Okay, so, Krampus is this disgusting, monstrous figure from Alpine lore. I love Alpine lore. Do you like Alpine lore? I love Alpine lore. I love all lore. How did you, well yes, I do love all lore, but Alpine lore, like specifically. I know. So imagine a mashup of like a yeti with a demon mixed in with a goat. It's like this horrifying, what nightmares are made of, thing, right? And the name Krampus, like, even the name is gross, but it comes from the old high German word Krampen, meaning claw. Uh, like So I guess it just kind of goes with your upside down thing, like it's It totally does. He's disgusting. It's awesome. He's basically like an animal version of Satan. Yes, that's why I say he looks like the devil! Yes! Like there's just something about him that's just I love him! No, no, we don't love him. We don't love him. He's essentially the polar opposite of Santa Claus. And he's more known as the enforcer of the holiday justice system, maybe? Maybe that's the best way to put it. Like, you know, in the song, Santa Claus is coming to town. He's making a list and checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty or nice. Well, the idea is good kids get presents and bad kids might get coal. I love this. So Santa gives the gifts and Krampus gives the coal. Nope. He doesn't give coal. Because that would be the nicest thing that Krampus could do. Instead He handles things a little different. Uh, like, like different? Like how? Um, well he handles all the naughty kids by beating them and then stuffing them in a sack and eating them if he's hungry enough. Holy crap! It's horrifying! That's some serious shit! It is. Oh my god, I'd make sure I was like one of the kids at the end of the street so like he wasn't hungry enough by the time he got to me. Like he was full of all the naughty kids. Yeah, but you would still be beaten and shoved in a sack. Oh, whatever. Cause you were naughty. At least then I could just have to figure out how to get out of a sack. Like, at least I wouldn't get eaten. I guess maybe, but this is what nightmares are made out of. Right? You gotta love the spirit of Christmas. In those like, central European countries. They go hard! Way to scare the shit out of these kids. Oh wait, shit. Wait, we never did Word of the Day. It's too late. We're just going to skip it. We're not skipping it! No way! We're totally doing it! What are you going to pick? Demonic? I'm picking it. Are you ready? I'm not doing demonic. Okay. Our Word of the Day today is Obfuscate. Obfuscate? Obfuscate, yes. Ob f u scate? Oh my god. Seriously, you're doing that to me? Obfuscate. Just say obfuscate with me. Ready? One, two, three. Obfuscate. Right. Which means to make something more difficult to understand. Or, it can also mean to be unclear or very confusing. So how you obfuscate to me anyways? Uh, pretty much every day all the time. Obfuscating? I, I obfuscate you every day all the time. That sounds highly inappropriate. I do it on purpose. I can't wait to obfuscate you later. It's going to be great. We're going to have so much fun. Alright, well. Shh, don't tell Trent. My bad, yo. We're just co host people. We're being way too sophisticated. Okay. Yes, we are. So, back to Krampus. Go. I like, I want to get back to Krampus. So it gets better, or worse, depending on your whole take on this. Wait, what do you mean it gets better or worse? Yeah. Like it's gonna get worse right now? Yeah, I think so. What? Yeah, so in some versions of lore, instead of beating them, Krampus actually abducts kids and drags them into the underworld for eternal damnation. Jesus! Yep. So kind of like again, we're going back to, um, the upside down and I don't know if I'd rather be beaten with a stick and stuffed in the sack or dragged into the underworld forever. But either way, it really sucks. Europe is hard. Well, like part of what I wanted to figure out was like, where did this all come from? I don't know. But, you know what? I think you're going to give me the origin story right now. Yeah, because again, I wanted to know, so I kept looking. And you did the research, smarty pants, so let's go! Well, you knew about Krampus, so I, listen, I make sure I do my research, you do your research. Okay, fair. It's all good. Okay, okay. really, I only want to do the origin story because I thought it would get better. It doesn't get better. No, it doesn't. Okay. There's nothing good about Krampus. And hey, by the way, there's so much shit that goes on in all these European countries, it's not even funny. Like, it's all bad. Like, America's, like, all like, Oh, unicorns, rainbows, it's bad Santa Claus. Everything else? No. Like, just wait. Right, I didn't know. I didn't know this. I know, I know, I know. Okay, go. Okay, so Krampus is thought to date back to pre Christian Alpine traditions, right? So, like, way back before Santa Claus. When I was Googling, all I could find is that he has some sort of leftover from some old pagan rituals, which were all really weird. And I think that it can be tied back to the winter solstice or this Norse goddess named hell, who was the ruler of the underworld at one point. Yeah. Okay. Like winter solstice, right? Like totally coming up, right? Let's go. Like we should probably do that. I actually know nothing about winter. So everything goes back to all this weird pagan shit all the time, right? Like, so Halloween wasn't enough. So they got to do this. Like also, I think people like just being scared to death, like seriously fascinated with death, right? We are as a culture. It's true. As time went on and Christianity was spreading everywhere, people were like, Oh, St. Nick is awesome and so nice and everything, so everyone should come and follow us. And all the dissenters were like, that's cool, but we still need a bad guy. So let's keep Krampus around as St. Nick's evil twin to keep everyone in line, just in case any of you Christians misbehave. Oh my God. So I'm guessing like my people. Right, beat you into submission. Like, the Catholic Church, like, loved this, right? Like, I can imagine how much they loved this idea. But not even close. Because the church actually hates this guy. Because he's a literal demon. Yes, that's so awesome. No, it's not. It's so bad. I love demons. So, let's be honest. Like, we know I'm Catholic, but It's okay, because, like, Catholics are too rigid. Super rigid. Like, this is good. Go, go, go. Tell me. Keep going. I don't know if it's good, because I want to hear all this. Go. So they even tried to ban him in Europe in the 15th century during the Spanish Inquisition Of course, they did right because he's awful, but you can't keep Harry Goatman down No, no, you can't you gotta love Harry. Go. No, you don't gotta love him I by the way, my new best friend is Harry Goatman. Okay, okay I mean some people obviously did because he didn't make a comeback in the 1800s and has been running around Central Europe ever since. And he's so popular now that he's got his own special knight named after him, it's called Krampus Nock, literally Krampus Knight. And it's celebrated on December 5th every year in towns all across Central Europe. Oh my god, okay, okay, I love this part. No! Yes, no, it totally reminds me of the Purge! Oh, see, this is why I love it! Yes, let's go to the Purge! I love it! Okay, so the whole concept here. Is that on December 5th, which happens to be the day before, like, feast day of St. Nicholas. Zero coincidence there, right? So Krampus roams the streets, figuring out which kids are bad, basically beating the shit out of them, like she said, stuffing them in a sack and dragging them into the underworld. But if you're good, no worries, you get candy and shit in your stockings from good old St. Nick the next morning when you wake up. They still do this today. Literally. People dress up in all these insane costumes and parade through different towns Clinging cowbells, carrying sticks, and scaring the shit out of anyone who crosses their path. It's part carnival, part horse show, and a hundred percent chaos. It's like Halloween and Christmas had this dysfunctional baby with goat horns. It's like Not Scary Farm on steroids, like with no rules, like where you could touch everybody and hurt everybody and kill everybody. I can't. I can't. I can't. Brutal. No. I can't even go to not scary farm. It's so scary. And this is like, I know you wouldn't even go to like a little event that you thought was maybe mildly scary, but we're going to do this right now. you're going to throw me literally on the airwaves. You're going to just like, call me out. Thanks. Okay. Can we move on? Maybe next time you'll go. But just to be clear to all of our listeners, Krampus knock is the actual name of the celebration on December 5th. Okay. Well, I mean, you know, If you call it a celebration. It is. Okay, whatever. And Krampus is just the name of the main character. That scares the crap out of everyone and keeps them in line all year round. Okay, got it. So we have like Krampus, and then we have Krampus Noct. I get it. Okay. So, also, don't confuse the thing I just talked about, the whole feast day of St. Nicholas, with Christmas. Cause they are totally different holidays. they're like all mushed together here in America. Wait, wait, wait. So St. Nick does not go with Christmas. But like in America, we made it all one thing and we, St. Nick became Santa Claus, cause we have stockings and stuff, and like, get all the little gifts and candy, but like, in other countries, they have St. Nicholas, December 5th, December 6th, with Krampus, and then Christmas is totally different, right? So, con cuidado, like, be careful, right? So, we don't actually celebrate St. Nick's Day here. I mean, I guess a few people do, but like, generally in America, we don't. But in Central Europe, it's celebrated on December 6th, or sometimes the night before on December 5th, and honors some dude named St. Nicholas, of Myra. A 4th century bishop who literally became bishop because of how nice he was. Is that how, uh, World Kindness Day started? Oh my god, right? Nice touch! Throwback to World Kindness Day! I love how you bring, like, old apps back to life. Good work. Okay, so Saint Nick is actually this guy who inspired the modern day Santa Claus. Kids get small little gifts or treats in their shoes on this day because the idea is that it represents St. Nicholas spirit of giving. Have you ever seen the OG Santa Claus is coming to town with like, Burgermeister Meisterburger? With who? Burgermeister Meisterburger! Totally, right? Yes! Okay, yeah. So that was like kind of inspired by Saint Nick's Day, and then they just added all the Christmas stuff. I never knew that. Okay, well, you're welcome. Now you're, uh, sort of sophisticated. So basically Krampus and Saint Nick come strolling into town together on the night of December 5th and one does a sweep of all the naughty kids and basically murders them and the other one leaves treats or presents for any of the others that have survived the purge. I love the way you sum don't, this doesn't sound great. This is great. So that's it. No. So that's Krampus schnot Saint Nick's Day. And then like for Christmas, Krampus. Of course, it's celebrated on December 25th. And it's supposed to be all about the birth of some dude, uh, named Jesus. Uh, but people don't really care about him anymore, because unfortunately, we're basically a bunch of heathens. Wow. I know, right? And just decided Santa Claus is the main character. And we just give presents to each other that make us feel good about ourselves. And before you ask, yes, some places in Europe actually celebrate both. We just don't because we're not like cultured or curious. Okay. But wait. What? Which countries in Europe actually celebrate Krampusnack and Christmas? Okay. Okay. So I looked this up. So four main guys in Central Europe, Austria. Four main guys? Four main countries? Four main countries. Whatever. God. Okay. I am drunk. Austria. Germany. Slovenia and Hungary. And more recently now it's starting to spread to other parts of Europe. Thank you very much. Like Switzerland, Northern Italy, Croatia, and the Czech Republic. So let's go US like get on board already, right? No, no, no, I don't think the US should get on board why Because it's just it's a little it's a little too scary. Christmas is about all the feel good Jolly, by the way, you're such a Puritan. It's not even funny. Okay, fine Well. Kill me. Why doesn't the U. S. then celebrate anything like this? Right, okay, so I actually don't have a great answer why US doesn't celebrate this. So I had to do a lot of archaeological digging. Oh gosh. Yes, right. I was digging like five rock layers deep here. Okay. I basically came up with the fact that like, The early American settlers, like the Puritans, were about simplifying religious observances. And they just flat out rejected a lot of the like folk. Loor is folk, can I TM folk loor folk Loor traditions from Europe. 'cause they were like demonic, like as you've been saying. To the Puritans, even Christmas was downplayed for like a long ass time throughout American history. Like they didn't even do Christmas. It wasn't till the 19th century. I guess even like the 20th century that Christmas in the United States evolved into this like super commercialized holiday that we have today Cuz like the Puritans were strict man if the Bible didn't say it They didn't do it and Christmas ain't in the Bible Okay, fine But I love Christmas and I'm mildly jealous because our friends right now are in New York for the Rockefeller tree lighting And that is like my bucket list because I love Christmas. I seen that okay You So, like, personally, also, like, I have this whole other, like, theory. I think that the U. S. tends to focus all its, like, scariness around Halloween. So they got no more time, like, left for other scary holiday shit. Like, at least that's my version. Halloween does all scary and then Christmas is like, oh, we're all gonna be nice. Wait, wait. What? Are you telling me right now that other countries don't celebrate Halloween like we do? Okay, so you gotta realize what we're talking about. We're talking about Central Europe. So So they do, but like not as big as us. So like Scotland and Ireland. We're the ones who started Halloween So then Irish and Scottish immigrants came to the United States and brought Halloween with them if you remember. Nope But I didn't it. Why didn't we do an episode on Halloween? Okay. Well cuz we're only so sophisticated. We'll do one on Halloween That's fine. So all the other European countries Like, they're not super into it. Like, not super celebrating. They do, like, a little bit. But, like, the United States, Scotland, Ireland. Massive Halloween celebrations. Everyone else in the world? Like, yeah, what the fuck's Halloween? Okay, so, I guess this kind of tracks because As I was researching, I did see that all of these other countries have this weird folklore about scary stuff like Krampus, but there's not much about Halloween. So that would make sense as to why it was Scottish and Irish, because I didn't get that far. Oh my God. Okay. So now I'm intrigued. I got to hear all this other weird folklore. Talk to me, sister. Okay. So the weirdest one, right? There's someone called Perchta, also from Alpine folklore, so same as Krampus, but instead of December 5th, she comes during the 12 days of Christmas, and get this, she comes in two different forms. Two forms? Yep. If you were good, she's this totally beautiful woman dressed in white and leaves you coins for being awesome. But if you're bad or lazy, she's this ugly old hag with a huge hook nose, kinda like a beak, it's like massive, and she slits you open, removes all your insides, and stuffs you with pebbles. Shit! It's, it's horrifying. That's hard! That's terrible! I want, I want like the hot, like, I want the hot version. Yeah, unfortunately you won't get that because you're not good. Oh, okay, thank you very much. I'm doing the best I can, and I'll just keep praying to You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. Okay, but then in Iceland. In Iceland they have something? Yes. What do they have? Dudes called the Yule Lads. The Yule Lads? Yep. That sounds like a gang. Probably. Okay. They run around creating chaos everywhere in the 13 days running up until Christmas. Kind of like Elf on the Shelf. So naughty little dudes. Okay. So depending on how you act all year, if you're good, they'll give you presents. But if you're bad, they'll steal your presents and eat all your leftover food and mess up your house and all that stuff. Oh. And their mom, Gryla, rounds up all the bad kids and boils them in stew and makes soup out of them. So there's that. Oh shit, now you're just obfuscating me. I swear to God, you're doing it on purpose. I'm not doing it on purpose. Stop it. It's fascinating. Totally obfuscating. But why, why would you, who comes up with this? People are crazy. It's ways to keep your kids in line. I get it. I think that's all this is. Whereas like, all I have is an Elf on the Shelf, I don't know. Or we don't, we do the animal version of it. And we have this Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now I'm interested. What is the animal version of Elf on the Shelf? Oh, they have like, uh, they're magical creatures. So like, they have a Saint Bernard, they have an Arctic Fox. And so we have Can I tell you something? Mm hmm. Like, and I was all in on all Christmas, everything, like, I did everything, Gabby, like, like, I love you, Gabby, but you barely kept up. Like, if I had to do Elf on the Shelf, I would have killed myself. Like, it was that hard to, like, move. Yeah, we have amazing friends. Yeah, I don't do any, I will never, and I'm No, you would. No, that is the one thing I'm so glad I never did. Well, you might. What? Because we have amazing friends, and she puts together the contents of every day in a Ziploc bag. So all you do is you unzip it, and you put it out. Nope, I'm out. I did plenty. The girls woke me up at 7am on December 1st, screaming that Beethoven and Sonata and Forte were back. Do you know what your girls need? a little bit of Krampus in their life. No, they don't! I'm coming over, I'm dressing in a huge hairy goat man suit I'm going to scare the shit out of your daughters and they're never going to want to have Christmas again. Thank you very much. Let's move on. That's horrible. Okay, fine. On the note of scary things, so whales. They have one in whales? Wow, you went deep. Good work archaeologically digging. You went to whales. There's much more than I would have imagined. It's true. So in Wales, there's this thing called Mary Lloyd, which is like a ghost with a horse's skull for a head decorated in ribbons, who goes door to door, challenging everyone to a rap battle, basically. Holy crap. Yeah, and if you win, I guess it goes into the next house. But if it wins, it tramples you and runs into your house and razes your pantry and steals all your food. Okay, okay, okay, hold on. Two things. One, spooky but oddly festive. And two, The last one totally gives me, like, Devil Went Down to Georgia vibes. Like, the fiddle battle between, like, Johnny and the Devil. Where, like, they, like, totally, like, duke it out. Okay. I can see that. Like, this is, like, Eminem, like, what is it, 8 Mile? What is this shit? Oh, yeah, like, yeah, more like Eminem. I can see that. Okay, can we move to Wales? No. I'm liking Marie Lloyd. No. Like, this is, okay, fine. Sorry. But it's so interesting because they basically have the same version of Krampus or some other insanely scary thing in every country all over the world. And it's Except here in America, of course. Well, yeah. Because nobody would jump on board. I know. I would not. I would not. But also, were they all food scares? Because these all, all these things kind of run around them stealing your food. I guess they were back in the day. Right. Like that was a thing. Right. When it all started. Yeah. Fair. Fair. That does make sense. Okay. So, uh, but I have another question for you. What? Why are we, as humans, so into getting the bejesus scared out of us? Okay, like, I'm not. Personally, you know that about me. I don't ever want to get the bejesus scared out of me. I know, I know. I hate that shit. Okay, but I could go all like psych 101 on you right now if you want. I have a theory. Okay, what is it? I don't know if I want it. Do I want it? You might want it. Okay, so I think it's all about balance. What are you talking about right now? Are you gonna go like all like, philosophically deep in this moment? Oh, yeah, okay, yeah. I warned you, but here we go. Okay, here's my theory. Do you want my theory? I do. Okay, so the holidays are so focused on joy and love and everything being perfect all the time. Nope, I'm out. Wow. Okay. And Krampus, or the Yule Guys, or Mari the Headless Horseman Lady, or whatever, they all remind us that life is, like, ugly. It's not perfect all the time. No! They're terrifying. It can, no, it can sometimes be messy and dark. And we love that because as humans, we can't live up to all the standards all the time because it's way too depressing. It's our excuse. So we make up all these darker celebrations to help us cope with all of this. Um, I don't like how you're trying to get creepy goat face psychotherapy on us right now. Okay, I just, but I just did that, and that just worked. Okay, I can kind of sort of get behind, not Uh, yeah you can, because that worked. That's exactly why people do it! Amanda! I get, I get why. Why do you go watch horror movies? Why do you go, why do you go watch dark shit that I know you don't, but in general, humanity does this because humanity needs to feel connected that like, shit's not perfect all the time. Come on, or it's just enough fear in our life. You're trying to, you're honestly, you're trying to obfuscate me again. And I don't like it. I don't like it once. I don't like it one second. I don't, okay, fine. Whatever. Okay, whatever. Well then why don't we celebrate in America then if we all love horror movies and all this scary shit, then why? I have an idea. Why don't we just start a movement? Let's just start this next year. Let's go from D de Los Muertos in November, all the way to cramp us in December. We won't even come up. For like a whole month. But you need a Halloween somewhere in there. We'll throw that in. I don't even care. Let's go for like 30, what, 30 days? Yeah, that would be 30 days. Of like exceptional dark scary shit. Let's go, Amanda. I'm in. We're doing it. I don't know. Yes, we are. Okay, what? Okay, fine. Is our Krampus crash course done? Yeah, I'm good. I got nothing else. I got nothing else from my end. You don't wanna hear from me anyway 'cause you don't like any of my stories. Okay. Fair. But can we keep it going with a little holiday vibes, but uh, with a more sinister twist, like a fun fact, but Krampus style. Oh, totally. Let's go. Okay. Go ahead. Fun facts, fun facts. Where's our music. We said we were going to have music for fun facts. All right. Ready? Did you know Krampus and Coca Cola had a showdown? No. When? In the early 20th century when Coca Cola In the 1900s? I hate you. Yeah, in the 1900s. That was so long ago. Okay, when Coca Cola like, really started to commercialize Santa Claus, Krampus pop Can I say Krampuses? Krampus popularity took a, like a major hit. Like, the modern Coca Cola's cheerful, gift giving, like, rosy cheeked Santa Claus overshadowed Krampus darker presence in holiday folklore, totally giving Santa Claus main character vibes and relegating Krampus to NPC vibes. Right? Do you know what NPC vibes are? No, I sure don't. Oh my god. Non player character. Right? You don't know that? What? Because you have gen alphas. I'm raising gen z's. I don't know. Non player character. Like, like Krampus is totally NPC vibes. Okay. So, you know what would have been so cool? What? Okay. Pepsi should have used that as an opportunity to commercialize Krampus! All of a sudden just like cheery Santa Krampus. Yes, that would have been awesome. No. Oh my god big miss by Pepsi Pepsi's over there screwing over Michael Jackson lighting his hair on fire. They could have done Krampus instead and totally usurped coca cola Okay, maybe I think maybe I should be like a marketer. Maybe you're a second career. I'm on to something. Okay, uh Number two, did you know Krampus is totally multicultural? Yeah, okay, right. You talked about a few of these already, but like I actually like looked up a few more. I did. I dig a little rock layer deeper. Okay. I mean, I just got, I was over the scary, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. So in France, they have some dude named like Pierre I don't know how to say it. I don't, I don't know French. Oh, okay. Fa The father whipper. Right? That's horrible. The father whipper, so he carries a stitch. And whips the shit out of children to discipline them, to discipline them for misbehaving. This is not okay. Yeah, I know, the father whipper. I love you, Pierre. Okay, and in the Netherlands, there's a dude named Zwarte Piet or Black Pete, who helps Santa Claus and gives these, like, little gifts to kids if they're good. Or carries them away in a sack if they're bad. Like, more weird shit. But, I mean, like, who doesn't love good ol Black Pete, right? I mean, but all of these are just like They're all dark, sadistic. They're dark and they're taken from Krampus. They are. They all are. Okay. Uh, okay. Fun fact three. Do you know why they always depict Krampus with chains all over him? No, but you're gonna tell us. Oh, I sure am. Okay. His chains are actually a Christian influence. Go Christianity. They symbolize the binding of the devil by Christian forces. Like, Christians won. And Krampus is in chains and like, now he'll never get out of them. So he like, clogs around, like, in his chains. See, again, the devil. We should just have nothing to do with him. I love this. No, this is great. Because we got the devil in us, Amanda. What do you want us, what are we going to do? Nope. We do. Nope. Okay, maybe you have like 2 percent devil. I might have 98 percent devil. But it's in there. Okay. My last one. Did you know Krampus can actually be sweet sometimes? When? Right. Look, okay, listen. So in some traditions, Krampus doesn't always punish kids. Sometimes he's been known to leave small treats or bundles of sticks as a warning to children who are close to the naughty list, but not quite on it yet, giving them the chance to redeem themselves. Right before Christmas. Redemption. Gotta love redemption, right? Or, just keeping your kids in line. Uh, or like beer pong. When you get that last shot after somebody else wins and you're like, Oh, redemption! And then you like, have one last Look at you being cool. Chance at winning. Okay, yay. Well, thanks for all the rando Krampus facts. And good fact finding. For finding some that I missed. very much. Um, but you want to go ahead and break it down for us and tell us, what we need to remember for our, our next holiday party. Uh, totally. Okay. So, uh, first recap, Krampus is an ugly goat horned demonic figure from central European folklore who accompanied St. Nick during the Christmas season. Google it. Scary. Scary. While St. Nick rewards the good kids, Krampus punishes the naughty ones, sometimes whipping them or stuffing them into a sack and dragging them into the underworld or eating them. That's horrible. I know. No matter how many times we talk about it, it's so bad. This is like awesome. Okay. Number two, Krampus predates Christianity and likely comes from pagan Alpine traditions where he was linked to the winner solstice, his name derives from the German word crampin, meaning claw. The claw. Number three on December 5th, known as Krampus, knocked literally Krampus Knight. Krampus roams the streets in parts of Austria, Germany, and other alpine regions. People dress up as Krampus, parading, scaring onlookers and drinking themselves to death. They actually drink themselves to death. No, but they drink a lot. Okay kidding. It's again It's a German. It's our it's our version of Halloween. Let's go Okay Number four the Catholic Church tried to suppress Krampus in the 15th century deeming him too pagan and too scary as he is I know but the tradition persisted Yay Krampus even in the 20th century some governments panned Krampus celebrations for being too chaotic or frightening I love this Number 5. Krampus has enjoyed a resurgence thanks to movies, TV shows, and the internet. Gotta love the internet. The 2015 horror comedy movie, Krampus, introduced him to a global audience and made him a pop culture icon. Blending ancient folklore with modern spooky fun. Watch it on Amazon Prime or something I just did. I don't think I'm going to. Nope. Pass. Hard pass. By the way, I loved it. Hard pass. Okay, I'm not going to lie. Watched it last night with my kids. I loved it! Let's go! It's nuts. Okay. I'm going to ask Luke. I'm going to ask Luke tonight what he thought about it. He loved it. Nope. Yeah, he did. Okay. Nope. Uh, and finally, um, You can also sign up for like a Krampus Run now in the United States. They started those. One just passed in San Francisco last weekend. I'm sorry, you're supposed to dress up as Krampus and run? Right, so I haven't quite figured that out yet. I don't know if you have to dress up. So they have like, I guess you don't have to. You can of course run just the run like regular. But the idea is a Krampus Run. So they do them like from December 5th through, I don't know, like December 12th. Like whatever, like for the week. So we're a little late. But, um, you get the idea. I would basically probably die in a Krampus costume. Um, but that's it. So It's called the Naughty Nine Miler. Let's go. Krampus facts out. We done. Oh, gosh. It's a thing. It is. You weren't level 7 lying. At worst I like level 3 lie, leave me alone. I'm not, we talked about this. I'm a level 3 liar, you're a level 5 liar. You always like, make me a level 7 liar. I'm not a level 7 liar. At all. Ever. Okay. Fine. That's why we're, by the way, that's the whole point. We're sort of sophisticated. We should change this to level three Well, there you have it dear listeners the tale of Krampus or as we now know it the ultimate anti Santa totally Just think the next time someone's a gushing about holiday cheer and jolly old st Nick you'll have the perfect opening to say Actually, have you heard about the Christmas demon who beats a crap out of little kids to keep them in line and sometimes eat some Yeah, hey you are see now who's being sinister You I mean, it's a good segway. It's a good segway. Segway? Do you know how to spell Segway? S E G Oh my god, I'm having too much fun. U E Y Look, Krampus is more than just a spooky holiday legend. He's a reminder that not every winter tale needs to be wrapped in tinsel and good vibes. Sometimes it's the darker folklore that sparks a curiosity and it keeps the season truly magical. In a twisted kind of way. But if we've done our job today, we're leaving you sort of sophisticated, maybe even armed with a Krampus factor to, to liven up your next holiday gathering and to make you sound kind of smart. And if you enjoyed this episode be sure to subscribe leave a review and share it with your friends who like their holidays a little more shall we say Balanced in Pete's words. Until next time, remember, for every Jingle Bell, there's a goat horned, cloven hoofed freak waiting to keep things interesting. Stay curious and stay a little mischievous. And don't watch whatever Pete recommends.
