Episode Transcript
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Sort of Sophisticated, a podcast where we chat about topics we think might make us more self aware in an effort to be better humans and less self absorbed, all the while trying to learn more stuff and keep working out this bulbous brain of ours, I guess. Yeah, but really we're just trying to be lifelong learners, right? Exploring some topics that might make us more captivating and engaging on maybe at least some level And I think we do it in hopes to increase our sophisticatedness Well sort of is sophisticatedness even a word you're allowed to use probably not. I love that you get the gist sophisticatedness t m Uh, welcome back. It's pete and amanda back at it again sitting in our cramped little studio with our bottle of jack And today we're diving Head first, Amanda, into everyone's favorite pastime. You know what it is? No, I don't. Lying. Lying? Lying! Why lying? I don't know. Oh, this is gonna be good. It's happening right now. And I'm not even lying. Okay, so Well played. Let's get started. Speaking of lying, do you know the famous Mark Twain quote? No. Okay, Mark Twain, his famous quote about lying. There are three kinds of lies. Lies, damned lies, and statistics. Well, ain't that the truth? Oh, totally, right? Wait, I love Mark Twain. Another one of my favorite quotes by Mark Twain is, A lie can travel halfway around the world, while the truth is still putting on its shoes. That's a good one. I think we see that a lot more today, especially, and we probably need more people like Mark Twain, pretty smart dude. Yeah. Okay. So can you, um, put on our calendar that we're going to do a podcast on Mark Twain, like in the upcoming, like next to 20 episodes or so? So yep, can do that. Okay, down. Good. Okay, back on track. Today, we're going to explore the 10 different types of, I didn't even know there were 10, 10 different types of lies. 10? Yes. I mean, isn't a lie just a lie? No. There's 10 types of lies. How are there 10? I don't know, but we're going to go through them. From white lies, like the tiny little fibs you tell Trent when he asks you like if his shirt looks nice, like if he has muscles in his big shirt, you know, that's your white lie. To the big whoppers you tell yourself, like, just one more drink, I swear, I'm so funny. Um, buckle up, because we're about to expose the truth about lying, or at least the 10 variations of it. No lie. It's gonna be fun. Yeah. I kind of think it is because this is basically what you do every week. You're finally exposing yourself. I am. Credit to you though. This topic was a good idea. And at least now you're kind of in your element and you can own it without, ha, even lying about it. I hate you. Okay. Why do you have to go at me so hard? But you are sort of right because, um, we're only sort of sophisticated, Amanda, remember. Which means the other part of this whole podcast. Is flat out lying, but I didn't even come up with this whole idea in the first place. I'm already lying Yeah, I know. So is this like colleague at my office? He's awesome, dude, like and I mean, he's my friend Who are we kidding? So total shout out to him. He was a stud He was talking to me about this a few weeks ago and he's like dude You totally have to do an episode on this. And so here we are. I did it send in your Rex Yeah, and by the way, like we're gonna talk about this a little further down. I don't technically like lie In all of my eps, okay, I kind of just sort of like exaggerate, which is one of the lies we're going to talk about. But, um, I'm not like a bold faced liar, like, relax, okay? You just Extend the truth, right? Okay, we're gonna talk about what level I'm at. I'm basically a level three liar. We're gonna get to it Don't worry. Okay. I'm not like this massive liar. I'm just like a Okay, so just for fun or are we actually really gonna learn something about being more cultured and curious Pete, okay Well, of course, it's gonna be fun, right? But believe it or not like learning about lying is surprisingly relevant to being more cultured Well, I can't wait to hear this and how you tie that. Okay, listen, listen. Would you agree that lies are part of human behavior and all cultures and societies do it? Okay, sure, I can get on board with that. Okay, well then can you agree that if we know the different types of lies and why people tell them, we learn more about human psychology and communication? Okay, I'm still on the train. Okay, then it would follow that knowing all this helps us become more empathetic, And recognize all the weird nuances in conversations and ultimately help us navigate social situations way better if we care to pay attention. How do you do this? I just do. That's how it works. I just, I just put it together. You know what it is? You finagle that real well. It's a syzygy. That's what it is. Oh. Okay. Well played. Well played. Wait, wait, wait. Listen. If you take it one step further, which we're not going to do in this episode because who are we kidding? We're only sort of sophisticated. If we care about learning which lies are acceptable in other ways. other people's cultures, it will help us understand the world around us better. Lies. No, maybe totally go with it right like you can imagine there's different types of lies and different types of cultures and the more we Okay, okay sure sure sure sure When you go visit other countries seriously like you have to fit in and figure things out and the way people communicate It's totally different. Okay, they're all nuanced. Okay, it all goes together Amanda. It's all connected Well, let's see how it goes together then. All right. Our word of the day is Uxoricide. All right. You already know the challenge just working in somewhere. All right. Uxoricide? Seriously? You Where is that supposed to, like, fit in? I don't even know what it means. Uh, okay. Well, per the usual. Per the usual? Euxoricide. It refers to the act of a husband murdering his wife. What? I'm speechless. You're insane. How do you? Again, you tell me this is a random word generator, but I don't believe you. No, it absolutely is. And why are we doing this word specifically, then? Why didn't you generate a new one? No, because it's fun, and it makes us learn new words, okay? Okay. Is it only specific from husband or wife, though, or can it go the other way? Uh, no. No, this is only husband to wife. I had to look this up. I had to Google this. It comes from the Latin word, uxor, uxor, I don't know, meaning wife, and cida, meaning killer or slayer. If it's wife to husband, then it's called something different. It's called meridicide. Because apparently it's important to have two distinct different words for shit like this, I guess? Alright, but from now on can we just start using cool adjectives instead? Like fastidious or loquacious please? Things like that, it makes it way easier Uh, put it in the suggestion box, okay? For today, it's yousauricide Fine, whatever you say It's yousauricide people! You got to figure it out. Okay. I don't know why I have to figure it out. This is like the worst game. Whatever. Sometimes, I've been able to figure a few out. That's true. Let's go. You did. You did. You did CG so much. And here's the deal. Let's be honest. It doesn't really matter. Just throw it in wherever the hell you want. It'll sound funny. No, it has to work. It'll sound kind of funny. No, well, that's no fun. Alright, fine. Before we start, I have an idea. Let's play Two Truths and One Lie. I love that game. Okay. I'll go first. Are you ready? I'm totally ready. Go. You already have, you're like loaded that fast? Yeah. What do you got? I've traveled to fifteen national parks. Fifteen national parks? Uh huh. I ran a marathon last year. And I am afraid of flying. Um, I'm going to say the truth is for sure you traveled to fifteen national parks. Yes. Okay. That was easy. You ran a marathon or you're afraid of flying. So one of those is true. No. I did just get back from Boston. I know. I know. I know. I know. Yes. I don't believe you've run a marathon. I'm going to say that's a lie. So I am saying you have a fear of flying. I do. You do. But I did not run the marathon. Of course not. Yes! I did so good. You did so good. Okay. Uh, that was kind of probably easy. I should have been a little bit more cryptic. I don't know. But sure. I wasn't quite sure. Okay. Okay. Your turn. Are you ready? I'm totally ready. Okay. Here we go. Let's go. Okay. Let me see here. Okay. One. I've never a broken a bone. Two. I can recite the alphabet backward in under 10 seconds. Three. I've met a celebrity who asked for my autograph. Those are really random. I feel like everyone's kind of broken a bone. I also feel like if anyone could recite the alphabet backwards, it would be you, and because of your weirdness, you'd probably challenge yourself to do it under 10 seconds. Damn it! So, maybe go with that's the truth. And I've met a celebrity who asked for my autograph. I mean, I think you can like sell, what is that for the phrase? You could sell like milk to a dairy farmer. So I sell ice cream to a Eskimo. Yeah. Yeah. That phrase. So I can, I kind of could think that you would convince a celebrity. Just to test my theory, will you recite the alphabet backwards under 10 seconds? Uh, sure. I will try. You want to time me? Okay, go. Are you ready? Yep. Okay, go. Okay. Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T, S, R, Q, P, O, N, M, L, K, J, I, H, G, F, E, D, C, B, A. Oh, you got it! What'd I get? It was literally ten seconds. Oh my god. Okay. Alright, okay. So I passed. Yay, that's a truth. So I used to know it way faster, but, um, yeah, okay. Alright, so what is it? Um, I guess it has to be maybe, you've never broken a bone. I've never broken a bone in my whole life. None of them. Knock on wood. Yeah. Yes. The autograph was Bo Derek. Huh. How random. How did that happen? So, me and Gabby were on our honeymoon, of all things. Totally random. We were driving up the coast of California. We ended up at Bo Derek's house because we knew her through, um, work. Because she was making product with us. Okay. So, we hung out with her for the day. Literally her and John Derek. Okay. Um, and we had a bottle of wine at her house. And she had me sign the cork. Does she keep them for all her visitors? Yes, she kept the cork. That's actually really clever. So I signed a cork in Bo Derek's house. And there you have it. So, uh, look at that. I guess you're famous now. Super fame. I thought you were totally going to say that was the one. No, because you could sell anything, like you could. But she asked, like, it was super easy. Like, yeah, it's true. OK. OK. OK. Anyway. All right. Back to work. Give me all the different types of lies. Yeah. Yeah. OK. So there are 10. So we got a lot to get. It's a lot of lies. All right, so I'm gonna start like smallest to biggest in my opinion anyway because I have like zero scientific evidence to back my Thought process here. I'm not gonna lie. So are we good with that? You're good. I'm glad you're not lying I'm not lying. All right, it's all good. All right. So first we have error or misinterpretation. Like, sometimes people believe they're telling the truth, but it ends up being a lie because they were given like misinformation to begin with. I call that a lie because it's like irresponsible because you have to fact check your stuff, right? You don't want to just be spouting off stuff when you don't know. So you're saying I shouldn't just spout off whatever I see on the TikTok? No, well, like a friend tells you, right? Like da da da da ba ba ba. You're like, oh, okay, like I Don't take everything as truth? You can't. Okay. No, because, and then, you know, You believe it's, oh, I see. Because it's, you're taking everything as truth and then you're telling it. Right? You tell it. You start telling it. You're telling a lie. You're spreading. You're unintentionally lying, unintentionally lying. It's a level one lie, but it counts. It's called, I'm just super simple. Got it. We're starting easy error or misinterpretation. We all do it. So then we have like the white lie, the harmless lie, the trivial lie. Like we're usually doing this to avoid hurting someone's feelings. Like when I tell you that your fancy vans are. I hate you, but thank you for following along. Do you not like any of my vans? No, I actually, I think it's more your socks that you wear with your vans. You don't like the socks? No, it's very. Like it's too loud. It's like, what is just, let's just level with me. What is it? Well, sometimes like your vans have like prints that don't match your shirt. Got it. So you need to be on theme. Got it. So I need to be more put together. I'd argue I'm pretty put together. You're looking for me to be more Okay, fair. Alright. You know what? I appreciate your white lies. Keep telling them. Okay? Thank you. Okay. Then there's level three. Uh, exaggeration. Like, the level you're always on? Oh, yes. I live on level three. Yes. Come on. Like, everybody knows I'm a level three liar. Okay. It's not bad in the grand scheme of things, really, is it? So, exaggeration's just number three? Yeah. That's what, uh, again, I'm not exaggerating. My rules I'm making this up. I got the levels. I made up level three. Oh you made up the There's there's ten times. This is level three you with me so far. Okay, so we're going from like Least. Least to biggest. Okay. In my, again, in my humble opinion. IMO. Okay. Like, be honest. Exaggeration makes for way better storytelling. Like, let's go. When I was younger, my wife would always correct my exaggerations. Like, I was, we were out with friends, hanging out, and she would like, uh, Peter, you're wrong. Uh, Peter, it didn't work that way. And I was like, oh my God. You're like totally killing the vibe of the story. Like, just let the story go. But then we got older. She got more mature. She got a lot hotter. And let's be honest. Uh, she started being super cool about it and started like totally rolling with the punches. And then like every once in a while, she would just look at me and roll her eyes. She knew I was doing it, but nobody else knew I was doing it. And it was way cooler and a lot sexier. So yay. That story sounds all about right. Right. Shout out to Gabby. She made me a level three liar. She perfected my lying. Okay. Enabled your lying. Total enabler. She was. Okay. Well, some people suck. Do you ever hang out with friends where The wife, like, cuts down the husband, and the husband cuts down the wife in the middle of doing something for no reason at all, and you're like, Really? Why are you doing that? Yeah, I think they do that just in general, not necessarily. Okay, right. Gabby would do it with my stories, and then she figured out, don't do that anymore. Right? Okay. Boom. Um, level four. Minimization. Like, when you downplay the significance of something. Um, You know, like when you tell me you're just a little late to the recording studio, but really I've been waiting here for an hour. So, like, you're a total minimizer. You're a level four liar. I don't think I am. I don't think I've actually ever tried to downplay you being here for an hour. I think that's an exaggeration. You are literally minimizing me right now. I think you're exaggerating. I get texts all the time. Hey, just around the corner. Hey, there's traffic. I check the traffic patterns. There's no traffic. You're a minimizer. You're a stalker. You're a minimizer. But I'm not. You don't even know where I'm coming from when I'm in traffic. So for the record, all of our, what is it, 23 listeners, I'm a level 3 liar, Amanda is a level 4 liar. Ugh. Deal with it. Okay, fine. Level 5. Omission, also called the half truth. When you sort of leave out a really key detail in order to mislead someone. So kind of like when I tell you not the full truth as to why I'm running late. Like that? Okay. Okay. Perfect. So what you're arguing is you're actually a level 5 liar instead of a level 4 liar. This is great You just you just moved up a level. This is fantastic Number 6 Now we're getting serious level 6 Fabrication now, we're just flat out making shit up like what you've been doing this whole episode. Leave me alone Okay, you just you're you go hard at me. Stop it. Okay completely inventing stories here like with no basis in fact whatsoever Okay, so Like how you tell everybody you know that you were the valedictorian of your high school? Um, first of all, how did you know I was even lying about that? Because What? You're not You're not valedictorian. Maybe I was a valedictorian. No. It's not on Google anywhere? I'm a valedictorian. No, then you're making shit up. No, I'm not making shit up. I was actually a valedictorian. By the way, were you really? Yes. No, you weren't. Yeah. Oh my god, seriously? 100%. I would totally commit a sorcerer side if we, like, were married. I hate you. Like, you're so mean to me. Anyway. Anyway, do you get it? I do, but were you actually valedictorian? I was not valedictorian! Oh, okay, thank you. Alright, fine. But I was smart! But I don't believe you were. I think you were like Jimmy Carter. There was like four people in your class if you made valedictorian. That's bullshit. Okay. I mean, there's like 900. And you probably were voted most argumentative by all your classmates. Okay, so now you are looking shit up, because I totally was. Were you really? I was. That was, that was it. That was my, what is it? The class just, senior Superlatives? Senior class, yes. That was it. Most argumentative. Me and, I forgot her name. I don't remember. Anyway, okay. Um, where were we? Level 7? Yep. Level 7. Okay. Deception. This one is like fabrication. With a twit. With like a lemon twist. Or lime twit. On top. Let's go. Alright. Deception is when you intentionally mislead someone with the intent to try to gain an advantage. Right? Yeah. Yes. Like all the online pervies, uh, pretending to be someone they're not? Perf. Totally the pervs. You gotta hate the pervs, right? Pervs are level seven. So, here's the deal. But I feel like they should be like level ten. Well, for other reasons, yes. But as far as line goes, they're only level seven. Let's be honest. I can't believe that there's more. You're level five. They're pervs are only level seven. You're level six. Okay. No, I'm level three. Nope. We just gave you number six. Okay fabrication That that was one. It was one thing. I just I just fabricated it to you But technically when you make an exaggeration, isn't that a fabrication because you're like making shit up. No, you're exaggerating Fabrication has no basis in fact exaggeration has an absolute basis. In fact, okay level eight. We ready? Okay, go plagiarism. I like stealing someone's work. I am questioning your levels here like how is plagiarism worse than Deception like lying about your age in order to get late because this is serious shit You can't just rip off someone's hard work and pass it off like it's your own That makes you an asshole. Sure, an asshole. It's like way up on my list. Huh. You don't think it should be? I, I, I mean, not, not like when you're trying to like. Okay, it's illegal. Abuse people. Like, it's illegal. You go to jail. You could also go to jail for being a perv, and like. Okay, being a perv is, okay, lying about something versus. You your age. I understand that, but like, you go to jail because you're a perv, not because you're lying about your age. This, you go to jail for this shit. Plagiarism is jail. Okay, okay. Let's be honest, okay? Okay, okay. And I'm not talking about, like, in school, when you, like, steal someone's work. This is, like, serious shit. Like, authors or, like, musicians and shit. It's a big deal. Okay. Like, this is, this could be, like, millions and millions of dollars. Okay, I understand. I can follow your train of thought. Okay, okay. Alright, so, wherever you want to put plagiarism. 7. I don't care. I got it at level 8. Okay? Okay. All right. Level nine. We're almost full tilt here. All right. The blatant lie. Wait, but how is that different than any other lie? Like it's a lie is a lie. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Blatant lie. This one is super intentional and told with a level of confidence that is intended to kind of like bully people. Someone into believing you're going like way over the top. So I exaggerate I tell a little bit of stories Then that was like level three then exaggerate or what was it fabrication? We were talking about level six where it's like there's no basis in truth This one's like you're bullying someone to believe it like you're using all of your skills. Isn't that just narcissism? Yes, absolutely. So, do you have to be a bully while also lying? Is it kind of like, do you remember when we did the soccer days, like back in the good old days? Oh yeah, yeah, totally. Right? Is it kind of like when the treasurer was stealing money, and like totally was bullying and blatant lying, I'm not stealing money. Oh, absolutely. That would be perfect. Right. Total big loser. That's what he was doing. Yep. And then he went to jail. So, there you go. He did. See? People go to jail. After level 8, man, people go to jail. Alright? Got it. Okay, last but not least. Level 10. The Diablo Sandwich People. The pathological lie. The psych cases that tell lies over and over without any rhyme or reason. Like, compulsive liars. Okay? This is big shit. So, I do have a friend who totally does this. What? Yeah, she says she graduated from Harvard, but she really didn't. Wait, how do you not? Wait, what? How do you know that? Because she doesn't have, like, an actual diploma. Like you checked? This is fascinating. No, I asked. I'm like, where's your diploma? Why isn't it framed up? Why does she talk about Harvard then? She has a certificate and that's what she uses. That's what she says. Yeah, because she took a online class Just one. All right. So now she just tells people that she graduated from Harvard Okay, I think it's actually like that's lame But I think it's lamer that you actually call her your friend and she's a pathological liar. You're also my friend Oh shit, but I'm only a level three liar. Why do you do that to me? But are you sure? I'm an exaggerator. I'm not a liar. I'm just gonna say that maybe I just attract special people. That's all maybe you do Um, um Or I'm just gullible enough. And so like people lie and I'm like, Oh, really, you know what? You know what I think? I think maybe this is our last podcast together. That's what I think. Okay. Exaggerate. We're done. Okay podcast out Okay, whatever you need to tell yourself to go to sleep tonight You're so mean to me. Oh my god Maybe if I well, how about this? How about I call Trent and ask him to commit a XOR side on you right now? How about that's the plan? Okay, and I've worked it in by the way twice. You haven't even done it once You Okay, so there because I can't I just did it would be my action. Okay, whatever Um, I got one more worth mentioning the honorable the honorable mention. Okay. Okay when you said there was only ten, but fine Lay it on me. Okay, here we go. Bluffing bluffing bluffing like in poker like in poverty. Yeah, not just in poker like in life How do you bluff in life you bluff in life you do it anywhere? It's kind of like you're lying like you're pretending to have or be something you're not like to gain power or position Over something like it counts like I don't know, like, I, I, I bluff my way, I've bluffed my way through the last 30 years at work. I mean, you are, you are, and I'm very Okay. So I don't know where, I don't know where it fits, but I think, like, bluffing is a thing. If, like, you, you, if you, like, exude confidence that, like, you know, that you know what you're talking But wouldn't that be, like, exaggerating? Yeah, but, like, you're not, but you're not necessarily lying about anything, or you just sort of Or just, like, pathological, because you start believing all your lies. I tend to speak with a lot of confidence. As a result, I think folks sort of listen, which is terrible. Don't get me wrong. I know that's super like misogynistic of me to say, I think that's a thing and should be considered in the whole like world of patriarchy and like, uh, ugliness that we have that, um, whether I like it or not, I'm a part of, and I have to do better at. Okay. Got it. Well, glad you got on your soapbox. Um, wasn't that getting off of my soapbox? I was telling myself I should be better. Like if I was on my soapbox, I wouldn't you getting on it to be able to proclaim that you have to do better? Okay. And ugh. And now I'm off. Okay, fine. I'm sorry I won't make it all about, but anyways, why I won't make it all about me. How did this all start anyways? I think it started with God, well, not technically with God, but like with Adam, because like God doesn't tell lies. But Adam I think, told the first lie. 'cause he was like, Eve made me do it. He did? Yeah. And then God was like, Adam did lie. And then God was like, uh, no she didn't dummy. You made your own choices. And he was like, but she was really pretty and naked, so I had to do what she said kind of. But he didn't know that she was naked before she been to the Apple. Oh my God. That's right. I never thought about it that way. Look, if I was Adam, we've lied anyways. I would've just ran around after Eve like all day long. Like they didn't have sexual desires. You got that because Oh my gosh, Adam lied. Oh, thank you Adam, for lying and giving us sexual desires. Okay. Do you want the truth? Yeah. Where do you want lies? Okay. Here we go. It started two and a half million years ago. Two and a half fricking million years ago. Prehistoric era. Were there even people then? Yes. Did the dinosaurs lie to each other? No, that was even older. Okay. It was survival of the fittest. Like Cro Magnons. Cro Magnons were lying to each other to stay alive. Think about it. Like cavemen were probably like finding food and telling their buddies like, Hey, look over there instead. Like to throw them off the scent. Right? Because they had to like hide food somewhere. Drag it back to their cave. Right? Right? Like. They had to make sure their families could eat. This was Is this another exaggeration? No, this is life and death shit. Okay, Amanda, think about it. I know you're like, yes, I can understand the train of thought, but are you actually making this up? No. Or is this like, for real? I, I, I GTS this shit. Okay. I GTS this shit. Okay. Absolutely 2. 5 million years ago, you know, Cro Magnon, like, whatever his name was, was like, Like, dragging food back to the den, hiding it, and telling everybody else, I don't have any food! I don't know how they talked back then. Okay, so then fast forward from like big foreheads to normal looking people, and lying starts being used like for power, and societies start forming, like ancient rulers, Greeks, Romans, all this shit, right? They start bending the truth to keep control of all the slaves, like the serfs, you remember all this? Most of them even pretended that they had divine connection, and their people actually believed this shit. Do you remember the Trojan horse story? Yes. Yes. Right, so the Greeks build this giant wooden horse, hide inside, trick the Trojans into thinking it was a present, so they roll it inside the gates of Troy, and everybody pops out and yells, Ha ha! Just kidding! And kills everybody. That is a perfect example of lying to maintain power. Yeah? I mean, that's a trick. Nailed it. It's lying. This is what we just talked about. Fast forward. Middle Ages now. We're going fast. It was all about religion. So popes started telling everybody that lying is a sin, so people would stop doing it. Smart move. Because that way, all the popes and priests and stuff could keep doing it to stay in control. So they basically used it all the time to manipulate their followers. There was this famous thing called the Donation of Constantine. Have you heard of this thing? No. Okay. This turned out to be a forged document that claimed at the time, Emperor Constantine turned over authority of the western part of the Roman Empire to the pope. It took, Amanda, 300 years before some scholars figured out and exposed it all as a lie, but by then the church had already cheated a bunch of people out of a bunch of shit. Mmm, so now they're all probably in hell. They are. They are in hell. They're in the seventh circle of hell, right? But seriously, look at that. 300 years. So, so, the Catholic Church goes and does this thing, whatever this is, the donation of Constantine, pretending all this stuff, right? Look it up. This, I'm not making it up. Takes them 300 years to figure it out. But by that time, they have, whatever, a gazillion more followers. A bunch of liars. This is crazy, right? Manipulation. Okay, fast forward. Renaissance hits the scene. And starts all this focus on art, science, and yes, of course, more lying. Okay, Machiavelli. Do we know Machiavelli? Yes. Okay, he wrote The Prince, that famous book. Which, by the way, spoiler alert, basically argued that Every successful leader in the world must be willing to lie to win. I think that's a true statement. It's terrible. Why are we doing that? I read it earlier this year. It's basically a playbook on using lying as a political strategy. Like, but that's all that they do. Okay. So. Fast forward, like, another hundred years. Explorers hit the scene, basically making all sorts of shit up, because who's going to question them anyway? They can't. Right? These dudes sail home after years at sea, bring back a bunch of gold and silver and shit, and start telling stories about unicorns, dog headed people, and giants. El Dorado? Do you remember El Dorado, the city of gold? All made up. To either be super famous in their hometowns to pick up more chicks at the local saloon or get more funding to go on more expeditions. But were they really actually getting more money for their expeditions or were they trying to sell like the dog headed people bullshit story? They were selling. Because I feel like that's not even real. Whatever they were selling, it was working because they was going back. Okay? Serious stuff. Okay. Like going back on the ship? Yes, and going back out there. So they're just getting money. It was, it was. It's all about money power money sex. I mean this all goes together Okay That brings us basically up to the modern age with newspapers and now of course the internet and lies just spread like wildfire People except P Diddy because that's all real Wars propaganda went nuts governments fed the public half truths outright lies to support funding or whatever they needed And today, social media, deep fakes, AI generated content, no wonder no one can tell what the hell is going on anymore. Fake news, fake profiles, all this false information makes it next to impossible to tell fact from fiction. Which basically means that lying has not only evolved over the centuries, Amanda, but really, now it's like a regular thing in our daily lives. Like, it's everywhere, everywhere. It really is, and it's really sad. And I hate lying, I try not to do it, but I get it. Sometimes you just have to. Put a little lie in there, right? To kind of see why a Why don't you educate our listeners on what you consider then an acceptable lie if you're like thinking you have to do it so often Okay, I think I'm being set up here. You are being set up. Okay, I'll take a stab at it. Oh, okay So I look at it kind of like this It's a little tricky because to me it all depends on content, context, and intention. Okay, so you're getting serious right now. Yeah, but it's also like a moral thing, right? Okay, I gotta hear this. Go, go, go. So, I think the white lie is okay if I'm trying to spare someone's life. feelings. Like why hurt someone if I don't necessarily need to? Okay, but I'm going to need an example of this before I buy into it. Hmm. Okay. Well, if someone gave you a gift, would you tell them that you loved it? Or would you tell them that you already have it? Did I love it? Or that you don't actually like it? Do I like it? I don't. Okay. So wait. So start. The premise is I don't like the gift. Yes. Somebody gives me the gift. And you're saying, how would I answer that? Correct. You're right, I would do a little, uh, okay, too easy. Well, not too easy, but it's like You gave me an easy one. Okay, so hold on a second. Would you tell me I look good, even if you didn't think I look good? Well, I don't know if I would say anything. Why would I need to? No, okay, hold on. I mean like, if I walked in all excited and said, Hey, like, do you like my new outfit? Like, what would you say then? Like, real quick. I'm like, hey, Amanda, like my outfit. I'd probably be like, yeah, you look kinda nice. Even if you don't like it. Sure, but see the thing is in those situations. It's not about me thinking you look good or that I like it It's really about if you liked it, right? So if you like the office and you feel good in it, good for you High five, bro. I hate you. Why? Okay, give me another example. Because that's all relative. You're just trying not to hurt my feelings Sure, but it's relative. If I don't like your outfit, that doesn't, what does it matter? You like it. Alright, give me another example. Though I mean like with a gift thing, I do kind of feel like I'd rather people be truthful if they don't like it, versus lying about it. But I can understand why people do it. So I'm the opposite. I get the gift thing, I don't get the other thing. I'd be like, dude, it's not my favorite outfit. All right. Go. What else you got? Um, I was also thinking it's okay to lie a little when you're trying to protect someone from danger or maybe something that's not age appropriate. Talk to me. So, example, we just went to Boston and we went to Salem and the girls now can read. And so we went to the memorial and it literally will say like, or has the name of the person who was killed. Like the witch. The witch in air quotes. Yeah, and then I'll be like why air quotes there weren't no witches. Well, we did the reenactment of the trial It was all lies. I thought it was Salem. I thought it was Salem, Oregon. There is a Salem, Oregon. It's Salem. It was Salem, Massachusetts Just learned something But that makes so much more sense. It does. Okay, and it was all Wait, okay Why'd you have to lie to your girls? Because they can read and so they said the one said hang the other one said Pressed to death and so of course they're like what is hang mean? What is pressed to death mean? Okay, and so, you know, you give them a little bit of information but Not all of it because they're not old enough to protect your protect you lying to protect. Yes. Okay. All right We're just not giving all the information. So is that deception a little bit of stuff that that's like a love What was deception level 7 lie your 11th? Oh my god, you're moving up the light chain, but I will say as a mother I got you on that one. I'm with you. Okay. Okay. What else you got? There's also the maintaining the peace lies Oh, this is a this is a new lie. You're using now. Okay, so we have the white lie We have the protecting lie, and now we have the maintaining peace lie. I love this about you. I'm learning so much about you right now. Leave me alone. Just listen. Just listen. You have a lot of lies. Well, it's not necessarily a lot of lies. It's reasons why it may be needed. Uh huh. Okay, go. Explain to me why. Okay, so there's a lot of times that sometimes I laugh at your jokes. Uh huh. That I don't think are funny, just to be nice. Sometimes I also just don't get them. Wait, what? Yeah, because I don't always get jokes wait, but then I'll go ha ha ha. Okay. Wait, wait, remind me. Why am I friends with you? Why haven't why haven't I committed suicide? Is there is there a word instead of a sore side? Is there a word we could use for me killing my podcast co host? Like is that like is that it's interchangeable? I'm sure I'm I'm gonna think of that word and we're gonna use it. Okay. Okay, fine. You're whatever so I maintain the peace, right? Even when it's on me that I'm not getting the joke to make sure that you feel good about it, right? Yeah, you're stroking my ego and I don't like it. You're dumb. Okay, calm down. Okay, can we just be done with this section or are you still going? I'm still going. I got one more. Oh, okay. Seriously, I can't wait to hear this one. Oh my gosh. It's gonna be good. Okay, go. Now this one's like a little more serious though, right? So we had the protecting one and the maintain the peace, right? And so this is gonna be like Safety. Go. The safety lie. What about when you need to lie in an emergency situation to protect yourself? So you give a fake name or a phone number to a stranger just so you can get out of that situation and get to safety. I get it. Or maybe telling someone your husband is home when they're really not. Or, you know, open the door and it's like some random solicitor and you're like, Oh, my, my, uh, big dog is here. Hold on. Let me, let me put them away or whatever. Right. You're basically lying when you think it's a matter of safety or survival. Okay. So no, you, uh, you totally got me there. Cause I get that. And that makes sense. And, uh, I hate that you have to do that, because people suck. I've never thought about it that way. Like it or not, lying isn't always black and white, Pete. Like, you have to weigh the benefit versus the harm, and then you have to make a call, and that's kind of where your morals come into play, and if a lie protects or maintains peace somehow without causing any real damage, I'm gonna probably say I'm in. It's not like it's a default or anything, and you have to use it sparingly, but it's sometimes a necessity. I think that was an excellent public service announcement. Well, thanks for listening to my PSA. Well done. Okay. Unless you have something else you want to chat about, I figured we could review some of the lies from the last Trump Harris debate and categorize them for listeners. I mean, this is a good idea. Seems kind of random. It is a little random, but when I was talking to the guy who like came up with this whole idea in the first place Because we were talking about the lies it came from the fact that we were discussing this debate So I thought it would be a good idea to like go through a few of that. Look there's like 50 So we would be here all night That is a lot of lies But we were chatting on the phone and we were going back and forth like oh my god That's bullshit bullshit Then he told me about ten different types of lies and I was like, holy shit We should do a whole podcast on that and then I thought it would be boring to do all 50 so We just gave the history, we gave all the different types, and now we're going to categorize five or so of the Trump Harris lies from their last debate. Okay, let's go. Only if, though, we talk about the eating pets. Oh, eating pets is in here. Okay. Yeah. Great. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats. Well, let's go. I love that meme. Okay. So, number one. Inflation. Former President Donald Trump claimed in the last debate that there was virtually no inflation during his administration from 16 to 20. I quote, I had no inflation. Virtually no inflation. Okay, so this is a level 4 lie. A lie of minimization. Here's why. The year over year inflation rate in January of 21, the month Trump left office, was 1. 5%. Okay. That's not so bad. No, that's not too bad. But the part he minimized was that cumulative inflation over the course of his presidency was 7. 8 percent Okay, but they also had to print a bunch of money because it was COVID. He's still level. He's still level 4 liar Okay, sure level 4 liar. Okay. Okay, dude. I'm reporting facts. Okay, true. Okay, true. Okay, I understand I'm just saying we're not you're not changing the scale. Listen, I made up the scale. It's my scale. Yeah, level. He's level four. Okay, you make up your own damn scale. Okay. Okay. Go. Number two, Afghanistan withdrawal. Trump tried to place blame on Vice President Kamala Harris and the Biden administration for the chaotic US withdrawal from Afghanistan level five omission people. The truth here is that both Trump and Biden share responsibility for the outcome in Afghanistan. Trump's 2020 deal with the Taliban to withdraw all us forces was identified as, and I quote, the single most important factor in the collapse of the Afghan security forces and the Taliban takeover. Biden's announcement to proceed with the withdrawal was also a significant factor. Harris was reportedly in the room when Biden made his decision, but there is absolutely no evidence showing she had any real impact on Biden's decision making. Omission level five. Okay. Fair, fair, fair, fair. Here it is. Are you ready? Number three. I'm ready. Pets. Trump, here it is. Trump claimed that Haitian migrants in the city of Springfield, Ohio are stealing people's pet dogs and cats and eating them. And I quote. In Springfield, they're eating the dogs. The people that came in, they're eating the cats. Trump said, they're eating the pets of people that live there. Okay, this is a bold faced lie. Level 9, people. The city of Springfield and the local police have said that they have seen no evidence for the claim, which appeared to originate from a Facebook post in which someone, purporting to be a local resident, passed along what they said was a story about the neighbor's daughter's friend. In a statement to this press, a spokesperson for the city of Springfield said, there have been no credible reports or specific claims of pets being harmed, injured, or abused by individuals within the immigrant community. The Springfield News Sun reported that the Springfield Police Division said Monday morning that they have received no reports related to pets being stolen. And eaten. Yeah, but it made for some good memes. They were the best. People are so creative. I think it made for the best meme. Like, it was amazing. Okay, let's do Harris. Are we ready for a Harris lie? Let's go. Okay. Unemployment. Harris claims Trump left office in 2021 with, quote, the worst unemployment rate since the Great Depression, people. Okay. So she's a level seven liar. I mean, that's high, but it's not as high as the nine that just happened. No, but this is, this is what you call deception. It is true that unemployment skyrocketed to 14. 8 percent in April of 2020 when COVID shut down global economies. And that, in fact, was the highest rate since 1939, according to BLS historical records. However, in January 2021, when Trump actually left office, the official unemployment rate was back down to 6. 4%. So here's where the deception comes in. She intentionally misled the public with the intent to gain an advantage. But wait, isn't this one kind of more like an exaggeration? I mean, she should use data just in a different way. Yeah, no. That's deceiving, not exaggerating. Exaggerating would be like back in 2016 when Trump pretended his dong was bigger than Marco Rubio's. Yeah. Okay. So that's, that's exaggerating. This was actually deception. Okay. Okay. Fair. Yeah. I can't believe he did that. Okay. Anyway. Number five, finally, you have the comment Harris made on U. S. military members on active duty in combat zones. I don't know if you remember this one. I do, I got real upset about that one. Oh, this was a tough one. Vice President Kamala Harris said, and I quote, As of today, there is not one member of the United States military who is in active duty in a combat zone in any war zone around the world the first time this century. Okay, so misleading. Level three. I feel like this one should be higher than level three. That's exaggerating. I feel like it was a blatant lie. Okay. While it is true that U. S. service members are not engaged in any major wars like those in Iraq or Afghanistan, her exaggeration is around active duty in a combat zone. So in fact, U. S. service members have come under fire in the Middle East repeatedly over the last year and increasingly have been in harm's way since Hamas attack on Israel last October. And also since October, more U. S. Navy troops have deployed to the Gulf of Oman and the Red Sea, both active combat zones. And finally, just two months ago, eight U. S. servicemembers were treated for traumatic brain injuries and smoke inhalation after a drone attack struck the Rumlan Landing Zone in Syria. So she sorta shit the bed here. Because it's a blatant lie. All right. Amanda is changing this one to blatant lie, people. All right. Because. There you have it. That's fine. Our soldiers are out there. Okay. And you're going to lie and say that it's, it is semantics, right? She's, she's playing off the semantics. But I feel like if you play semantics intentionally, then it's a lie because now you're disregarding information. They're both liars. I mean, they are. What do you want me to say? They're both liars. That's all. Okay. End of story. They're both a bunch of liars, people. All right, then. So, to sum things up here, just to make sure that I, like, am Catching all of your rando levels. We really got to fact check these people because using the lying scale, you've kind of come up with it's, which I think I should totally TM. What do you think you should? All right. We're TM. We got a TM, a lot of stuff. We got a TM, a sophisticatedness from earlier, and now we're TM ing a lying scale. But it's like crazy that they're just going to do anything to get elected. I know it's totally terrible. Right? Okay. Yep. So I think I need a little bit of fun fact time because. Now I'm just going to get depressed thinking of how much I'm lied to. Alright, you ready to go? Yeah. We're going to go on, we're going to do fun facts about lying. How are you going to tell if I'm lying? Are you ready? Alright, these are good though. Well played. These are good. These are good. Well played. Alright, fun fact one. We lie more than we think. Research shows on average a person tells two lies per day Well, that might not sound like much add that up. That's 750 lies a year or bigger than that in an average lifetime 50, 000 lies in a lifetime and this is why we're going to hell we're all going to hell. Yep, seriously, right? I probably like honestly like if an average person does 50 50, 000 lies, I probably do like I mean you're exaggerating but yes, okay close five hundred thousand like it's at least ten times as much. Okay, you're crazy All right fun fact to all right children start lying early like early early like Like most kids start lying it two or three years of age. It's just our sinful nature. No, no, no, no, listen to this It's actually a sign of cognitive development because it means they're beginning to understand that other people don't know everything they do It's like they're testing the system kids are much smarter than I think we give them credit for psychologically like that's a bit like I don't like that people lie. I mean, I don't know. It's not like we're ever going to stop it from happening. It's just how your brain is wired. Right. It's how we're wired. Like there's something to it to like learn how to do it and then like to not do it, right? So it's an important part of the choice. It goes back to being a choice and the moralness of it. Totally. That's why we have excellent parents like Trent and Amanda. Okay, uh, number three. Have you ever heard of something called the liar's advantage? Mmm, no. Is it in poker? Uh, no. I use it all the time. Okay. Studies show that liars are better at reading other people's emotions than truth tellers. Liars learn to gauge how well their lie is being received so they become more skilled at detecting the cues and then can keep lying It's a master manipulator. Yeah liars advantage Yeah, I know I won't say that I am one of those number four Fun fact, did you know that men and women lie differently? Absolutely, because women have to lie to protect men's egos, and men just lie to get into women's pants. It's really not that complicated, Peter. Oh my god, that was perfect. You said that so much better. Uh, I would like to say that men lie to make themselves look better. It's all about their accomplishments. You are correct. It's about their egos. I'm just using accomplishments. Uh, women lie to make Minimalizer. Uh, right? I am. Oh my god. Oh, that's terrible. Okay, women lie to make other people feel better. I think it's a little like sugar and spice and everything nice. Just little white lies. Right, like, yeah. Yeah, Pete. I like your shoes. Just a level one. Yeah, Pete. I like, I like your shirt, Pete. Level one. Oh my god, okay. Um. Is it level one? I don't even know your scale. I don't know what it is. Level two, level two. Number five, fun fact, body language isn't always reliable. Contrary to popular belief, signs like avoiding eye contact or fidgeting aren't always indicators of lying. In fact, a lot of liars make deliberate eye contact to seem more trustworthy and keep up with the idea of the lie. I'm amazing at that. Because they are manipulators. I know, I go, I think I, I think I have narcissistic personality disorder. I'm like reading all these. I fit a lot of these categories, Amanda. Oh dear. Why are you friends with me? Are you friends with me? Okay. Number six. Should I say yes? Is it a lie or is it true? I don't know. I can't even tell. We have to stop this episode soon. Okay. Number six. Lie detectors are not perfect. Polygraph tests that measure physiological responses like heart rate, sweating, and breathing, they're only about 65 to 75 percent accurate. So I can outsmart if I ever got arrested. You could not because you would sweat and freak out. Sure, that is very true. Um, but also does that mean then the new polygraph lie detector test that Ariana Grande did, it's like, totally I have no idea about this. They asked if like she had like a boob enhancement or like they had done anything. I have no idea. Did she pass it? She did pass, but now you're like Interesting. There's a 35 percent chance she's lying. Huh. Who knew? And if she could slow her heart rate down, she passed it. Okay, let's go. Next one. Number seven. Fun fact. Gen Z ers are screwed. Lying is way more common over text. Yeah, that makes sense though. Yeah, right? Because you're not in person. People are more likely to lie in text messages than face to face conversations. The anonymity. And lack of immediate feedback make it way easier to bend the truth. And this is why all of our communication is just going to hell and why we are now the, uh, anti social generation. My Gen Z's are screwed. Like, my kids, I don't know what Gen Alpha is. Like, I don't even know what you have in store for you. Like, you might, you might be even more screwed. Again, you can't trust anything that's in technology. Alright, can I keep going? Because I've got a few more. Yes, you can. Okay, uh, number eight, fun fact. Have you ever heard of the Pinocchio Paradox? You mean like, my nose is going to grow Pinocchio? Yeah, totally. Yeah, totally. Is that an actual paradox? Yes. So basically it goes like this. If Pinocchio says, my nose will grow now, and it doesn't grow, then he has to be lying. But if he does grow, then he's telling the truth about lying. So it's impossible. It's an endless loop. My brain just melted. That hurt. Okay, it just means you totally created an impossibility. And it teaches people not to lie in the first place because it's hard to, like, manage yourself through a lie because if you tell a lie, then you have to do more lies. No, I got it. My brain just melted. Okay, got it, got it, got it. Okay. Number nine. People are surprisingly bad at detecting lies. Like, especially truth tellers. This was totally Gabby. I could literally say anything and she would believe it. Okay. Well, hopefully you didn't lie to her. Are you kidding? My whole life was a lie door. Stop it. No. Okay, just kidding. Okay, so even though people lie on average twice a day, we as a collective group are only about 54 percent capable of detecting a lie. Dude, that's just barely better than flipping a coin. Right. So in an average day, somebody's telling two lies. We're only figuring out one of them every day, all the time with everybody. We just telling me that my whole life is a lie. We just suck at detecting lies. It's all the same. Life is a lie. Okay. Last one. Ready? Did you know that lying is contagious? Well, that makes sense. I never lied until I met you and now I do it all the time. My god, okay. Um, you are so lucky that I'm like 12 feet away from you and I can't hmm like physically do something Okay, I have your vans on so you can't throw a shoe at me. Okay. Okay. I just figured this out Do you remember the whole like murder your podcast co host thing? I talked about earlier. I like so many times podcast or aside. That's it Okay, anyway being around a liar like me can actually make you more likely to lie yourself It's social pressure. If other people are doing it your brain gets more comfortable with doing it Like an addiction. It is absolutely true. It sucks. Okay, that's all I got. Uh, I'm all out of lies. Love it. Well, as always, I love our fun facts and hopefully you feel a little more sophisticated when it comes to being a liar. Can you be more sophisticated at like, really? Well, is that what we just taught people? I guess maybe not like, we're trying to, we're trying to help people detect lies. I mean, we probably did make people more sophisticated. Let's be, let's be real. All right. Either they're more devious or conniving, but that's terrible. If that's what we did, we're terrible people. Yeah. And maybe we'll just make sure that they got the point. So why don't you tell me what I need to remember here to make sure I can keep being a good liar. Because, you know, it's important. You're not going to be a good liar. I'm never. I can't. You're a good person. I don't have a poker face. Right, you're just a good person. I lie and then I laugh. All right, here we go. We'll go quick. Okay. Are you ready? Yep. Okay. First, watch Dishonesty. Is it a documentary about this? Yes. The Truth About Lies. Mm. Okay. Documentary released in 2015. Directed by Yael Melamed, I probably butchered that. The film features behavioral economist Dan Ariely, who explores the psychology behind dishonesty and the various reasons people lie. It also highlights the surprising finding that many people consider themselves honest, despite, well, you know, their dishonesty. That's a cluster. I know. Great. Honestly, this is a great documentary. I've seen it. This guy, Dan Ariely, he's got a book on it. He's fascinating. Yeah. Yeah. Totally worth like checking him out, checking out this book, checking out this, this documentary. Okay. Second. If you care to learn more about lying and how to stop doing it, try to keep a journal of why you lie and then look for patterns and triggers to help yourself with awareness. Or read the book, The Honest Truth About Dishonesty. Again, Dan Ariely. It has good info about why people lie and how lying affects relationships. Or finally, if nothing else works, talk to a therapist to get a deeper understanding of the issues and fix your shit once and for all. You need to have a lot of self awareness for this, so I don't really have much hope that Do you ever write down, like, why you lie? I've never done this. Like, I've never journaled, like, here, that's, why, why did I just do that? Why did, I, I see how that's fascinating, I know, I know, I know. Go back and listen to our first episode, make fun of us, and then, uh, you know, learn about self awareness. What do you want me to say? Okay. What else? Third. If you don't care to learn more about lying and how to stop doing it, by all means, just keep lying, because that's what I'm going to do. How about that? You're crazy. Okay, great. And finally, if you don't remember anything about this podcast, it doesn't really matter, because we're probably lying anyway. Stop it. But there you have it, folks. The 10 Different Types of Lies, as per Peter and his rando scale. It wasn't random, I thought it was a pretty good scale. Save plagiarism that you thought maybe was in the wrong place. Okay? Okay, fine. I think we've covered, though, everything from the classic white lie. No, Pete, your podcast voice isn't annoying. To the bold faced lie. Pete committed uxoricide in 2023 and didn't even serve any jail time. Oh, shit! I mean, you said it like five times that you were gonna do it, so it must be somewhere in the past. But like, that? I like killed her? Yes. Who are you, woman? Listen, people. If you got this far, you're now officially an expert at lying. Or maybe that's just what we want you to believe. We'd like to think we've shared just enough information to make you either a flaming nuisance, or a little more sophisticated to your fellow humans. Sort of. And remember, honesty is the best policy. But if you're going to tell a lie, make sure it's a good one. Like saying our podcast is the best. If you enjoyed this episode and found it particularly interesting, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share with your peeps. Until next time, keep it real, or at least keep it convincingly fake. Stay clever and stay honest.
