Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome back to Sort of Sophisticated. I have a plan.
[00:00:02] Speaker B: Oh, dear.
[00:00:03] Speaker A: I have a new plan. Okay, so you know how, like, we always do the. Oh. Like, we say something about sort of sophisticated, and it's always different at the beginning of every episode. I think I wanna tagline this shit now. Cause we've been doing this enough episodes. Okay. Okay. All right.
[00:00:15] Speaker B: All right.
[00:00:15] Speaker A: Are you ready for this? Cause I wrote, like, a tag. I wrote a tagline, and it has a lot of alliteration.
[00:00:20] Speaker B: Your favorite.
[00:00:20] Speaker A: Yes. Okay. Ready?
[00:00:22] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:00:22] Speaker A: This is it.
[00:00:23] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:00:23] Speaker A: Okay. I want your honest opinion. On air, where culture, curiosity and chaos collide.
[00:00:28] Speaker B: That's good.
[00:00:30] Speaker A: Culture, curiosity and chaos collide.
[00:00:31] Speaker B: That's pretty accurate.
[00:00:32] Speaker A: You like it?
[00:00:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:00:33] Speaker A: All right. We're doing it. That's it. From now on.
[00:00:35] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:00:35] Speaker A: Okay. So elevator pitch, like, when we're talking to somebody, like, what is your podcast about? You're gonna be like, we're. Culture, curiosity.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: Culture, curiosity and chaos collide.
[00:00:42] Speaker A: Perfect. Okay. I'm your host, Pete, strapping it in, as always, for another incredible episode. And with me is Amanda. Hello, Amanda.
[00:00:52] Speaker B: Hello. Hello. Also, when you say strapping it in, it could mean something totally inappropriate.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: Oh, interesting. Wow.
[00:00:59] Speaker B: Interesting.
[00:00:59] Speaker A: Okay. I feel like you have come to the dark side in the last hundred or so episodes here, where now anything that I say, you're like, you're.
[00:01:11] Speaker B: You must mean it.
[00:01:12] Speaker A: No, when you strap it in, like, I'm thinking seat belt. Like, strapping it. Like, belting it in. I'm belting it in. Okay. All right. Let's get past this.
[00:01:20] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:01:21] Speaker A: Can we get serious for a second? Okay, so, like, February.
[00:01:24] Speaker B: I know. Gross.
[00:01:25] Speaker A: Yeah, Right?
[00:01:26] Speaker B: I just can't. Okay, how is it already February?
[00:01:28] Speaker A: I think you just proved my whole point on this whole podcast. Right? Why does everybody think February is so gross?
[00:01:33] Speaker B: Oh, I don't think February is gross. It's just time is, like, where did January go?
[00:01:36] Speaker A: Oh, you're doing the I'm getting old thing.
[00:01:38] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: Like, time is.
[00:01:40] Speaker B: This year is a ticking time bomb.
[00:01:42] Speaker A: Time casts a spell on you and you won't forget me no. Fleetwood Mac, Silver Springs.
I can tell by your face you've never even heard what the hell I'm talking about. It's the greatest song on Earth. Okay?
[00:01:56] Speaker B: Every song to you is the greatest song on Earth.
[00:01:58] Speaker A: Whatever. Fine. Okay. February. Can we get back to February, please?
[00:02:01] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:02:02] Speaker A: We're talking about February. Our whole episode today is on February.
February. February or February?
February. It's got that extra R in there, right? I never knew that. Whatever. That's all about.
[00:02:15] Speaker B: How are we gonna talk about February?
[00:02:16] Speaker A: Because I have so much shit. I was having a moment just like you were. I'm like, it's already February. And I started thinking, like, why the does February suck so bad? It all started with, why does it have 28 days? Like, that was my, like, thought process. I was just, like, sitting there. How did. Yeah, how did they pick that? Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. And then I really went down the rabbit hole of, like, people just don't like February. So I started, like, interviewing all my friends, and they're like, no, February. And then I looked it up, and, like, February's got, like, a low rating, right? And I'm like, oh, there's. There's something here. So.
[00:02:42] Speaker B: But I feel like February has, like, we have a holiday that I get an extra day off of work.
[00:02:47] Speaker A: What holiday?
[00:02:48] Speaker B: President's Day.
[00:02:49] Speaker A: President's Day. Nobody gets President's Day off anymore, do they?
[00:02:51] Speaker B: Well, I don't know, but, like, oh.
[00:02:53] Speaker A: My God, you're so white. This weekend, shouldn't we have indigenous people day off? Like, Amanda's still giving people President's Day off. Talk about getting cultured and curious here.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: Okay, okay, move on. Move on.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: Wow. No, it just sucks.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: You're making it sound like it's, like, the redheaded stepchild of the year.
[00:03:06] Speaker A: It is. January's new year. New me, new everything. Right.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: So what's February?
[00:03:11] Speaker A: March is spring. Spring has sprung March 21st. Right.
[00:03:13] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: February is terrible. That's what it is.
[00:03:16] Speaker B: I mean, maybe you'll convince me to hate February because I like February.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: I think you're the only person who likes February.
[00:03:22] Speaker B: I mean, maybe.
[00:03:23] Speaker A: Is your birthday in February? No. Your birthday's not in February? No.
[00:03:25] Speaker B: But I did have a friend. Her birthday was the 29th. That was so sad.
[00:03:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:28] Speaker B: I have a cousin when we were, like, kids.
[00:03:30] Speaker A: So your friend's, like, 8 years old right now.
[00:03:32] Speaker B: Right.
You don't even have a birthday.
[00:03:34] Speaker A: I think that's kind of cool, though, because it makes you cut. That's like street cred. I think it's cool.
[00:03:38] Speaker B: Maybe.
[00:03:39] Speaker A: All right, Official title. Are you ready?
[00:03:41] Speaker B: Ready.
[00:03:41] Speaker A: February is the worst month. And that's on purpose.
[00:03:45] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:03:46] Speaker A: That's it?
[00:03:47] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:03:47] Speaker A: I got nothing to say.
[00:03:49] Speaker B: Okay, well, how is learning about fabric going to make us more cultured, Peter?
[00:03:53] Speaker A: Psychology. Psychology, Amanda.
[00:03:55] Speaker B: All about psychology.
[00:03:56] Speaker A: Psychology. If we understand why we hate something so viscerally, then we're going to be, like, more self aware. We're going to learn about how to understand why we react the way we do to certain things. And believe me, there's psychology and science behind all this shit, okay? There always is.
[00:04:14] Speaker B: I know there always is. Everything's always connected. It's February. Why are we. Why are we hating on February?
[00:04:20] Speaker A: Listen, listen, here's the deal, right? We're trying to be cultured and curious. I try to keep the episodes topical to some degree. We're in February. It's the doldrums. Nobody likes it. Except you, apparently. So I'm going to just talk about February Doldrum, like the. The dead part of the year.
[00:04:35] Speaker B: Is that our word of the day?
[00:04:37] Speaker A: No, no, it's not word of the day. You know why it's not word of the day? Because we have a word of the day anymore. We have word of the week.
[00:04:44] Speaker B: Sorry, sorry. Word of the week.
[00:04:46] Speaker A: It's. All right.
[00:04:46] Speaker B: What is our wow?
[00:04:48] Speaker A: Are you ready for our wow?
[00:04:49] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: Querulous. Querulous. Querulous.
[00:04:53] Speaker B: Are we quarreling like.
[00:04:55] Speaker A: Well, we're all. We're always quarreling, but this is querulous. Q, U, E, R U, L, O, U, S. Querulous.
Yeah. It comes from the Latin root query, meaning to complain. And describe someone who is habitually complaining, naggy, or just being petty.
[00:05:11] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:12] Speaker B: So whiny.
[00:05:13] Speaker A: Yeah, like whiny. Perfect. I like whiny. Okay.
[00:05:15] Speaker B: Okay. All right. Well, then I guess you're gonna have to start with giving me the history of February, because I'm still over here.
[00:05:21] Speaker A: Love in February.
[00:05:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: Can I ask you a question?
[00:05:23] Speaker B: And don't be all querulous about it.
[00:05:25] Speaker A: Okay. Oh, my God. Okay. That doesn't even count. Okay. That was so forced. If anybody wants to vote right now for. Was that forced?
Because that was forced.
[00:05:34] Speaker B: It worked perfect.
[00:05:35] Speaker A: It was forced af.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: And we know you're going to be whiny about February. You already were.
[00:05:38] Speaker A: Oh, that's kind of true.
[00:05:40] Speaker B: I went.
[00:05:40] Speaker A: All right, maybe you did. Okay, wait. I have a question for you.
[00:05:43] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:05:43] Speaker A: What do you like so much about February? Like, I don't understand what you're like, taking this position. What is it? I don't get it.
[00:05:48] Speaker B: I just have never hated.
[00:05:49] Speaker A: Give me one thing that you like right now.
[00:05:51] Speaker B: About February.
[00:05:51] Speaker A: Now. Right now.
[00:05:52] Speaker B: It's like the month of love.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Really? Oh, I'm going to dispel all that shit right now. Oh, you just blew it. You just stepped it. I'm going to clock you. Okay, here we go. History of February. Okay, ready? Before we start talking about Valentine's Day. Cuz that's what Amanda just did.
I have to talk about how it all started.
[00:06:08] Speaker B: What, February or Valentine's Day?
[00:06:10] Speaker A: No, February. Like, how February is February. Okay, here's the thing. Holidays are all over. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, whatever you celebrate. I don't even know. Winter is gone. Not gone, but, like, wearing off. Like, people are over winter already, right? Like they're. They've had it. Spring is not there yet. You're waiting for it, but, like, it's not happening.
And your motivation kind of sucks because nobody can stick to their New Year's resolutions anyway. So the whole idea of, like, you being a badass in January and go to the gym, that shit's over by February and you're depressed af.
Okay, that's what's happening.
[00:06:42] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:06:43] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:06:43] Speaker B: So February is the epic failure month.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: Yes, February.
[00:06:45] Speaker B: The month you realize you failed.
[00:06:46] Speaker A: You know what we should call it? Funk. February. Funk.
[00:06:49] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:06:49] Speaker A: That's what we should call it.
[00:06:50] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:06:50] Speaker A: Okay. All right. So like I said, psychologists study this shit. And fun fact. Did you know that February is when something called Seasonal Affective Disorder peaks to their highest levels? Seasonal Affective disorder? Yeah, I guess it happens because our brains are built to use sunlight as a regulator. This is why, like, all the people in Seattle trying to kill myself.
[00:07:13] Speaker B: I had two questions. What is it? Because, is this the reason why people in Seattle always want to, duh, begin and done. Okay, because of sad? Cause the acronym is sad.
[00:07:22] Speaker A: Do you think they did it on purpose? Do you think they have a sick sense of humor? I need to talk to psychologists. Any psychologists who are listening right now, please send us a note. Cause we wanna know if that is some sort of sick joke that you guys played on us. Okay. But, yeah, it's totally proven to, like, mess with your circadian rhythm and that whole thing. So, like, it's the what, the melatonin? Yeah, it's that whole thing. Right? So we feel tired all the time. February's, like, already just, generally speaking, shitty and dull.
[00:07:47] Speaker B: Okay, wait, so are you telling me then that I have an excuse to, like, be lazy and grumpy and cranky?
[00:07:53] Speaker A: No. You always in February. No, that's your round. No.
[00:07:56] Speaker B: Yeah, but now I have an excuse.
[00:07:57] Speaker A: You do. That is February.
[00:07:58] Speaker B: Yes, we can blame February.
[00:08:00] Speaker A: You can. Okay, fine, I'm gonna let you blame it.
[00:08:02] Speaker B: But then, is that why they made it Valentine's Day? So they threw the love in there? So there's, like, a little bit, like, of non grumpiness?
[00:08:07] Speaker A: What is it with you on Valentine's Day?
[00:08:09] Speaker B: Well, what else is February known for? That's the only thing it's really known for.
[00:08:11] Speaker A: I am explaining what it's known for. It's. It's known for suicides. Okay. It's known for seasonal affective disorder. It's known to be sucking. All right, sorry. So sort of.
[00:08:20] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:08:21] Speaker A: Sort of. With Valentine's Day. So sort of.
[00:08:23] Speaker B: Because I don't really understand the whole, like, St. Valentine.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, oh, we're going to go. We're going to get.
[00:08:28] Speaker B: And, like. And truth be told, I actually don't really like Valentine's Day. I feel like it's, like, overrated Manufacturer holiday. Oh, my God. To bring in money.
[00:08:35] Speaker A: Welcome to the dark side. Do you. Hey, I have a question. Did I already win you over? Do you already not like February?
[00:08:41] Speaker B: No.
[00:08:41] Speaker A: No, no. Okay, fine.
[00:08:42] Speaker B: I don't think it's February's fault that we have a capitalistic holiday in there.
[00:08:47] Speaker A: They did it on purpose to try to make us feel good, but it backfired. So here we go. So actually, it didn't start with Valentine's Day.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: It's like conspiracy theory.
[00:08:53] Speaker A: It is.
[00:08:54] Speaker B: Okay, here we go.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: This is exactly what you love.
[00:08:55] Speaker B: So it didn't start with Valentine's Day?
[00:08:56] Speaker A: No, it actually started in ancient Rome. Like 700 B.C. like a long ass.
[00:09:00] Speaker B: They didn't even have February back then.
[00:09:01] Speaker A: They did. You know more. You know so much more than you let on. This is bullshit. Okay, so it started with something called Lupercalia. Lupercalia.
Say it with me, people. Lupercalia.
[00:09:12] Speaker B: That sounds like a disease.
[00:09:14] Speaker A: It is not a disease. It does sound like a disease.
Doctor. What is it?
Okay, so that was funny. Yes. It was a festival that they purposely put in February because, just like, I'm freaking out right now, they just were trying to do anything to not commit suicide. So they literally. That's why they picked it. Yes. So it goes all the way back to Rome's origin story. Do you know Rome's origin story?
Like Romulus and Remus, the twins?
[00:09:42] Speaker B: Ooh, I should. Okay, maybe.
[00:09:43] Speaker A: Well, I just learned when I was little, I went to Rome. I'm totally flexing. Sorry. I went to Rome when I was little. I learned the whole story. So according to legend, and we know legend is always right. Correct.
[00:09:52] Speaker B: Fair.
[00:09:52] Speaker A: Romulus and Remus were two twins raised by a she wolf in a cave called Lupercall. Yeah.
[00:09:59] Speaker B: Oh, wait, I didn't know the Lupercall.
[00:10:00] Speaker A: Yeah, well, that's the name of the cave. Right? So that wolf. Apparently she wolf symbolized three things. Protection, fertility, and survival.
So on February 15, the festival would begin in this cave, and it would start with all these priests sacrificing goats or dogs or whatever they could find back in Rome back then, and smear blood all over their foreheads and then subsequently wipe it with some wool dipped in milk. So blood, Milk. I wish. I don't know.
[00:10:30] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:10:30] Speaker A: There's reasons. The idea was that the blood of, like, the goat symbolized death.
[00:10:35] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: And wiping it with milk symbolized coming back to life.
Right. Because milk from, like, the teat, you know, the teat of the she wolf. Right. Milk life. Okay. Anyway, purification, Right. Basically washing their community clean after winter was over. Getting rid of it. Okay.
[00:10:52] Speaker B: Like the symbolic ness of it.
[00:10:54] Speaker A: Okay, got it, got it. The case gets worse. Okay, so after that, all the priests. Are you ready for this? Okay, strap this on. Oh, sorry. Belt in. Belt in. Okay. The priest would then cut the goatskins into strips, then get drunk, because, of course, that's what priests do. They all get drunk and then run through the streets whipping the women with the goatskins.
[00:11:13] Speaker B: What?
[00:11:13] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:11:14] Speaker B: Not like this is so intense.
[00:11:15] Speaker A: No, but, like, not in a bad way. Or they. Wait, that's.
[00:11:17] Speaker B: I'm sorry, what?
[00:11:18] Speaker A: I know that sounded bad. Cause whipping women is bad. What I mean is the women lined up for it. They were participative. They wanted it to happen because it was part of the festival and they believed that it would bring them fertility and protection during childbirth.
[00:11:32] Speaker B: A male egotistical activity.
[00:11:35] Speaker A: Right.
[00:11:35] Speaker B: So you're going to get. But you're going to be so fertile. Let me whip you.
[00:11:38] Speaker A: Right. Let a drunk priest whip you nonetheless. Okay. I think that's maybe where 50 shades are.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: Where BDSM started.
[00:11:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I think so.
[00:11:47] Speaker B: Okay, fair.
[00:11:47] Speaker A: Okay, so we should do an EP on bdsm.
[00:11:49] Speaker B: And I think your strap on now at the very beginning.
[00:11:51] Speaker A: Looks perfect.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: All tied in.
[00:11:53] Speaker A: Here we are. Okay.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: It's all connected again.
[00:11:55] Speaker A: I just wish I lived in 700 BC. Okay. I don't know what's happening. So then after that whole thing was over, everybody in the town would get drunk and they'd have this big feast and do a matchmaking ceremony to, quote, encourage new life, Amanda. If you know what I mean. Encourage new life. Got it.
[00:12:12] Speaker B: Yeah. So basically we're saying that this was the earliest version of speed dating.
[00:12:17] Speaker A: Absolutely. That's perfect.
Speed dating with humping at the end, very fast. Right, right, right, right. It was kind of like the Purge. You ever watched the Purge?
[00:12:25] Speaker B: No.
[00:12:25] Speaker A: Where they, like, go around like they have one day a year. Right. And you can murder everybody it's like that, but, like, with sex. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally.
[00:12:31] Speaker B: What?
[00:12:32] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:12:32] Speaker B: Okay, so nothing romantic about this at all.
[00:12:35] Speaker A: No. So then I told you it wasn't Valentine's Day.
[00:12:37] Speaker B: It's like, more like survival planning.
[00:12:38] Speaker A: But, like, it was, like, lupercalia. It was a disease.
[00:12:42] Speaker B: So then how do they, like, do a full 180?
[00:12:45] Speaker A: First of all, can I, like, make a point here? Like, can you go back to 700 BC and put yourself in their shoes for a minute and be self aware enough? And please understand that, like, February was a total scary danger zone for them because food was low. Like, they didn't have food stores anymore. Right. Because they saved all their food from the harvest and everything. Winter wasn't over yet. Crops weren't, like, being planted.
So, like, people were dying. Like, February was the time of death. Right. But, like, that's what was happening.
[00:13:11] Speaker B: I feel like this activity is, like, counter.
[00:13:13] Speaker A: No, that's what it was.
[00:13:14] Speaker B: It was distract them.
[00:13:15] Speaker A: It was getting drunk and having sex in hopes to start life again. Like, we're just so evolved. That's all. That's the only thing that changed. But you get the concept at its. Like, at its core. Yeah, like, yes, but they needed to make more babies, Amanda. Babies died all the time back then, so they were just like, shit. Now babies. Well, you know what I mean?
[00:13:35] Speaker B: So it's an excuse for a big orgy. Got it. Okay, so then when did Valentine's Day show up? Where we're about love and happiness and heart almost.
[00:13:43] Speaker A: Or me heartbreak.
Did you do something on Valentine's Day?
[00:13:48] Speaker B: No.
[00:13:49] Speaker A: No. Do you have, like, a tradition?
[00:13:50] Speaker B: No.
[00:13:51] Speaker A: Okay. Can I tell you mine?
[00:13:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:53] Speaker A: So maybe two kids deep. So we're, I don't know, married six years? Seven years.
[00:13:58] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:13:59] Speaker A: And we wanted to plan a fancy dinner and go out, and we weren't smart enough to get reservations and didn't know how that all worked. And we went to, like, five different places and couldn't. Nope. Yeah. Couldn't get it anywhere. And we were pissed. So we ended up at In N Out and finished dinner in, like, a half hour and said, what do you want to do? Said, let's go watch a movie. So we went to the movie theater. We watched a movie, and it's empty. No one's in a movie theater on Valentine's Day. And from that day on, for the next. I don't know, we'll call it 25 Valentine's Days.
[00:14:28] Speaker B: I love it.
[00:14:28] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a tradition. We celebrate. We go in and out in a Movie.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: All right.
[00:14:31] Speaker A: We want to do it, babe. Let's go.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: Hey, let's go. Trent and I will join you for In N Out. A movie.
[00:14:35] Speaker A: It's the greatest.
[00:14:36] Speaker B: Let's go.
[00:14:36] Speaker A: That's my little. That's my little Valentine's tradition. Okay. Anyway, sorry. Back on track. So Lupercalia goes on for, like, a thousand years. Like, for a long time. Like, we haven't even gotten a long time. Then somewhere around the 4th century, the church gets involved. Cause the Church always.
[00:14:50] Speaker B: But weren't they technically involved? Cause the priests were doing it.
[00:14:52] Speaker A: Well, I mean, the Catholic Church. Sorry. My baby.
[00:14:54] Speaker B: Oh, like, Big C. Big C. Got it. Okay.
[00:14:58] Speaker A: I love this. Yes. And in 494 AD to be precise. How is that for sophisticated? 494 AD some pope.
Oh, my God. Are you ready for this guy's name? Jelliasis. No, it can't be Jelliasis. Jellesius Gelasius. Okay, we're gonna say Pope Gelasius. That's better. He's like, yeah, enough's enough. We can't keep trying to explain this shit to everybody. This is stupid. We're not doing Lupercali anymore. He officially bans it. Catholic Church. Okay.
[00:15:24] Speaker B: Wow. So we like him.
[00:15:26] Speaker A: Yeah, well, sort of. I mean, his name was Jelly Asses. But here's the deal. They weren't ready for anything. They didn't have anything else to put in his place yet, so they were just like, meh. So they grab St. Valentine and strategically place it before. No, the day before. Because, remember, I said Lupercalli was 2-15-15? If you're playing along with it. Yes.
[00:15:43] Speaker B: I was not paying attention.
[00:15:44] Speaker A: So on February 14th, they distract everyone and say, like, here's the deal. We're doing Valentine's Day. And fun fact about Valentine's Day. Are you ready for this one? It's gonna blow your mind.
[00:15:53] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:15:53] Speaker A: There were actually three valentines that were martyred between the third and fourth century, like, back then. So nobody really knows which Saint Valentine they're, like, feasting on Valentine's Day. Like, not even the Catholic Church knows this. This is not blasphemy. This is serious shit. Like, ChatGPT knows everything. And I checked this out, okay? So they sort of just blended the stories of these three different martyrs that were all named Valentine and made it vague enough so that they could just make a feast day and make it super quietly religious and, like, offset the chaos of Lupercalia.
[00:16:32] Speaker B: Huh?
[00:16:32] Speaker A: Yes. So here. Here we're supposed to be like, oh, St. Valentine. This is what he did and this is what he. Bullshit. They don't know any of this. No story, huh? It's crazy. There you go.
[00:16:39] Speaker B: All made believe.
[00:16:40] Speaker A: So now it goes on like that for another 800 years.
[00:16:44] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:16:45] Speaker A: To the late 1300s. You know why? Medieval times. Everybody does everything in medieval times. It was crazy shit back then. Jeffrey Chaucer.
[00:16:53] Speaker B: Oh, yes.
[00:16:54] Speaker A: Chaucer. Chaucer. So he writes something called Parliament of Fowls, which finally ended up connecting St. Valentine's Day with the whole idea of, like, love and romance, which is what you actually asked me to begin with. And I was just taking a really long road to get there.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: We got there.
[00:17:09] Speaker A: We got there. Here we are. So Jeffrey Chaucer, 1300s.
[00:17:12] Speaker B: He romanticizes it.
[00:17:14] Speaker A: I mean, it wasn't just him. There were like a lot of poets doing a bunch of other shit. But, like, since he was the most famous one, I'm just. I'm saying it's Chaucer because we're only sort of sophisticated. Nobody else gives two shits about all the rest of them. Got it?
[00:17:23] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: Okay. Because, like, people cared what he wrote about.
[00:17:25] Speaker B: Fair enough. Fair enough. Okay. But hold on. Yeah, so just to make sure I got this right, so. February.
[00:17:29] Speaker A: You didn't get anything right. You're not getting anything.
[00:17:31] Speaker B: Well, I'm trying.
[00:17:32] Speaker A: You know what?
[00:17:32] Speaker B: I'm listening.
[00:17:33] Speaker A: You're being querulous. That's what's happening right now.
[00:17:35] Speaker B: I'm not whiny.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: Yes, I think you are a little bit.
[00:17:38] Speaker B: Never. Okay, Never.
[00:17:39] Speaker A: Wait. It's never me before you. Sum. I have a question. Am I winning you over a little or. Not even close yet. You still love February?
[00:17:46] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:17:47] Speaker A: All right, not enough yet.
[00:17:48] Speaker B: I'm taking not enough.
[00:17:49] Speaker A: I would need to hear, like. I just feel like unequivocally like. Yeah, you're winning me over. So. No, not enough.
[00:17:54] Speaker B: Okay. Okay, go ahead.
So February becomes a month of love because the Romans were obsessed with fertility and this festival called Lupercalia was happening. And so then the big church, capital C, comes in. Bans it, pulls in Valentine, but we don't know which Valentine. And so now it's like boring and quiet. A feast of Religious feast.
[00:18:13] Speaker A: A religious feast for like a long ass time.
[00:18:15] Speaker B: And then Chaucer comes in, he writes it, romanticizes it, and now we're just all about love.
[00:18:20] Speaker A: Yes. You got it.
[00:18:22] Speaker B: Really?
[00:18:22] Speaker A: That was it.
[00:18:22] Speaker B: So the 1300 Chaucer is when.
[00:18:24] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:18:25] Speaker B: Valentine's becomes what we know as present day.
[00:18:27] Speaker A: That's when it started yeah, yeah, yeah. And then of course, back to your whole capitalistic society and ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. I'm sure it was like, all the way up till the, you know, 20th century, where we're like, oh, let's spend all this money on it. But yeah.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: Okay, well then, I mean, so you're telling me all these people hate February, Right? Which I don't personally subscribe to, but we're in there getting there.
[00:18:46] Speaker A: But if I think querulous.
[00:18:48] Speaker B: But if I think of people who don't like February.
[00:18:50] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: They always complain like, it's the longest month. Does that have anything to do with, like, the Aztecs?
[00:18:55] Speaker A: They're dragging.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: The Aztecs pull like the sun and like a longer day.
[00:18:59] Speaker A: The Romans. It's all the Romans.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: But they had.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: Everything's about the Romans, people. What?
[00:19:05] Speaker B: But the Romans with the long days and the calendar, that wasn't.
[00:19:08] Speaker A: There's a deal. People feel like February is the longest month because it's the end of winter and it sucks. And they want March to start and everybody wants to have sex again. That is what it's all about. When did you have your babies? Were your babies born in November? December. See, you're having sex in March. Okay, my bad. Yeah. All right. Fun fact. Can I go? Fun fact.
[00:19:24] Speaker B: Okay, I guess I got to go.
[00:19:25] Speaker A: Fun fact. Did you know the early Roman calendar didn't even include February? Like, didn't even exist?
You know, the calendar started in March and ended in December. It was only 10 months long.
They didn't count winter because everybody was hibernating in winter. Right. So it took a long ass time before the Romans finally woke up and were like, let's add winter to the calendar because this is getting complicated. So some dude named King Numa Pompilius finally decides to add January and February, but he puts it at the end of the year.
So after December was January, March started the calendar year.
[00:19:58] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:19:58] Speaker A: Yeah. February's the end of the year. So check this out. Oh, this is gonna make sense now. So because February's at the end, it was sort of the cleanup month, the get ready for spring month. Like the get your shit together month.
[00:20:08] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:20:09] Speaker A: Are you with me? So that's why it has leap year. Sometimes they needed an extra day. Cause they didn't even know, like, how it all worked yet sometimes.
[00:20:16] Speaker B: Stop it. No. February has leap year because we lose time based off of our consequences.
[00:20:21] Speaker A: They didn't know that then.
So February was crazy, okay? Like, there were February's back then where they were 20 days long. Sometimes they were 23 days long. Sometimes they doubled days in February because it was just clean up to get ready for the first day of the calendar, which was spring, March 21st. Okay, so they were just like. They were just, like, effing with February all the time. So I understand your point of, like, officially leap year. Like, you're totally correct. I'm just telling you the history. It's. The basis of it is February was a cleanup month and they would absolutely fuck with the calendar just to make sure it lined up for spring again. Does that make sense? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the idea.
[00:21:01] Speaker B: February willy nilly for my liking. But okay.
[00:21:04] Speaker A: Willy nilly. That would be a good word of the day. Willy nilly. Let's add that in. Is that a real word?
[00:21:09] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: I think maybe it is. Okay, I want to look that up.
So you know how, like, most of the months are named after, like, gods and goddesses and all that kind of shit, right? Whatever. I didn't know that.
[00:21:17] Speaker B: What?
[00:21:18] Speaker A: No, they are. Right. Like Mars March. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Whatever.
[00:21:22] Speaker B: Another example, we don't have uranium.
[00:21:26] Speaker A: June. Juneau. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. A lot of them are. February is named after something called Februa. Februa. Just like F, E, B, R, U, A, which were, I guess, Roman cleansing rights.
So that's even why they named the month that, because they were, like, cleaning up.
[00:21:42] Speaker B: I also don't think that February should get so much crap because it is the month that has the most holidays. I said that earlier.
[00:21:47] Speaker A: It doesn't have the most holidays.
[00:21:48] Speaker B: Well, like, okay, holidays, like, things that happen in February.
[00:21:50] Speaker A: Valentine's Day is not. That's not a holiday.
[00:21:52] Speaker B: Groundhog's Day.
[00:21:54] Speaker A: None of those are holidays. Those are days that you like to celebrate. Those aren't holidays.
[00:21:57] Speaker B: But that's my point. Like, February just has so many, like, celebratory days.
[00:22:00] Speaker A: Don't say holidays.
[00:22:01] Speaker B: Fine, celebratory days.
[00:22:02] Speaker A: Okay. By default, they had to.
[00:22:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I get that's what you're putting out there.
[00:22:06] Speaker A: This is what. This is my whole point. Okay? So take Groundhog Day, for example. Why do. What. What is ground. What's the story of Groundhog Day?
[00:22:11] Speaker B: Well, groundhog comes up, and then he sees. If he sees his shadow. If he does, then it's not. I don't know.
[00:22:17] Speaker A: If he sees a shadow, then it's six more weeks till winter. Right?
[00:22:20] Speaker B: And if he doesn't see a shadow, then it's.
[00:22:22] Speaker A: I don't know, Spring starts.
[00:22:23] Speaker B: Oh, okay, yeah.
[00:22:24] Speaker A: Guess what happens. He sees the shadow. Every time. Do you know what the problem is?
[00:22:27] Speaker B: Does he actually.
[00:22:28] Speaker A: Yeah, we're making up.
[00:22:29] Speaker B: Wait, why do we. Why do we have crown ups?
[00:22:31] Speaker A: We're making up stuff.
[00:22:31] Speaker B: No, no, no. Hold on. He actually sees a shadow. Every time.
[00:22:34] Speaker A: Always.
[00:22:35] Speaker B: Bullshit.
[00:22:36] Speaker A: Amanda.
[00:22:38] Speaker B: I was today years old to learn the graph.
[00:22:40] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
The whole premise behind Groundhog's Day is we are anticipating, we are looking forward. So we just did anything.
[00:22:49] Speaker B: People bet on Groundhog Day. What do they bet on?
[00:22:52] Speaker A: I love you? Nothing. They're just having fun. Let's go. Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. We're going. Me and you.
[00:22:58] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:22:59] Speaker A: Yes, Amanda.
[00:23:00] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:23:00] Speaker A: Yes. Well, Valentine's Day, Lupercalia, the whole thing, all that's there because February sucks. It's peppy. Trapped. We're trapped in winter and all we want to do is shed and live and love and have sex in 700 BC. That's it.
[00:23:16] Speaker B: Okay, hold on. So we. We all don't like February because it was this month.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: Wait, did you say we all don't like February? Are you on the. Are you on the bandwagon now?
[00:23:23] Speaker B: Maybe. But, like, it makes sense that we have all of these distractions in February to get through February because it used to be at the end of the year, but it was kind of important because we were all doing all these cleansing things. But now it's not at the end of the year. It's after January. It's still winter. We have Groundhog's Day to pretend like spring is coming, but it's not coming.
[00:23:40] Speaker A: That you just learned about.
[00:23:41] Speaker B: What? Why is February so important then?
[00:23:43] Speaker A: Why is February important?
[00:23:44] Speaker B: Besides that we're missing a day every three years. Like, what's February?
[00:23:48] Speaker A: That's really the only reason it's important. We just make up that four.
[00:23:51] Speaker B: What? Sleep you're about.
[00:23:52] Speaker A: It feels so good. That's the day we should get off. That's the holiday. Anyway, this is where we're going to sack it up. We're going to do a little self awareness campaign. Here we go. This is the month where you prove your mettle. This is. This is the month where, like.
[00:24:03] Speaker B: Oh, this is your reverse psychology bullshit?
[00:24:05] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah.
[00:24:06] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: Wow.
Wow.
Okay. I don't even.
[00:24:11] Speaker B: You'd be sad and depressed, but you shouldn't.
[00:24:13] Speaker A: You just clocked me. But that's exactly where I'm going with this right now, okay? So think about it. Anything you do in February is what matters most to you. That's my reverse psychology. Like the Jedi mind trick I'm playing on These are not the droids you're looking for.
[00:24:26] Speaker B: So what you're saying is that if I created a habit in January, it was because I was so focused on it, I made it a new part of my life. So then it's important to me because I continued it past 30 days into February.
[00:24:37] Speaker A: That's a great example. That's one perfect example.
[00:24:39] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:24:40] Speaker A: I would argue anybody that you see in February that you care about, that you spend time with, those are the relationships that matter the most. Because, remember, scientifically, right, we're geared to sunlight. And I understand, like, you live in Southern California. It doesn't matter. But my point is, it's still circadian rhythm. It goes all the way back to the melatonin. All that that I'm talking about goes back thousands and thousands of years.
February still is this concept of slow down and isolate. And so anything that you are purposefully doing must be what you care about. So when you get to the end of February, I personally would take stock, look back and say, what did I do in February? Because that's the shit that matters to you the most, huh? Done and done.
[00:25:23] Speaker B: So you're saying that February is full of honesty and reflection?
[00:25:26] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. And then that's how you feel? Yes. What, like February has become a gift? It is a gift.
[00:25:34] Speaker B: Now do some Jedi voodoo mind shit.
[00:25:38] Speaker A: I look this shit up. Dude, I got research. Can I. Can I quote? I'm quoting. I'm going to quote ChatGPT. February gives you the space to reassess priorities and discern what's important. I didn't make that shit up. Some knob on ChatGPT made that up. Okay. Anyway, another fun fact. Are you ready for a fun fact? Here we go. In the weeks after Valentine's Day, more people break up than any other time of year. Yeah.
[00:26:00] Speaker B: Someone didn't do shit.
[00:26:01] Speaker A: No, I knew you were gonna say that. That is not Valentine's Day's fault. No, it is fucking February's fault. This is my point. Think about it. We just talked about discerning, okay? Right. We just talked about what's important.
[00:26:12] Speaker B: Valentine's Day comes by. My partner didn't do anything. I'm discerning his ass needs to go the curb.
[00:26:18] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Fine. It forces clarity. What you're doing is you're taking time to realize if that person is important to you, and if you didn't do something for. Oh, my God. You are just not buying what I'm. You are not on the bandwagon.
[00:26:30] Speaker B: You just went so deep. Okay, I'm just telling you. No, I give you that one.
[00:26:34] Speaker A: I'm telling you whatever survives in February is important, okay? And the reason why we are attached to those things, including your relationships. So the breakup isn't Valentine's fault. The breakup is. You're discerning, you're thinking, you're realizing, you're figuring. You're like, that's not important to me anymore, okay? And that's February playing tricks on you, all right? It's doing. It's dirty work.
[00:26:54] Speaker B: So are you saying then you shouldn't break up in February. You should take like, a month to think about it?
[00:26:58] Speaker A: No, I would say if you do it, I wouldn't break up the day after Valentine's Day, but I would. The two week, like, I don't know, up through. Yeah. February 29th. Everybody should break up on February 29th. Yeah.
[00:27:09] Speaker B: That's what they should do once every four years. You got four years to get your act together.
[00:27:13] Speaker A: Maybe the Catholic Church could enforce that. And then there'd be less divorces. If everybody could only break up every four years, there'd be so many people take shit more seriously.
[00:27:21] Speaker B: So I have a question. I always have questions. But in February, is it like, no shave November?
That, like, we should rebrand it then to be fun.
[00:27:33] Speaker A: Oh, Fun February. Yeah, Funfetti. Should we do phallic February since everybody's having sexual relations?
[00:27:40] Speaker B: Nope. Too far.
[00:27:42] Speaker A: Phallic February.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: Too far.
[00:27:44] Speaker A: Tm. Okay. Fun facts.
[00:27:45] Speaker B: Yeah, just fun facts.
[00:27:46] Speaker A: You were the one who started that. Okay, just for the record, I just came up with a better alliteration.
[00:27:52] Speaker B: Nope. Okay, Fun fact February. Funtober is better.
[00:27:55] Speaker A: Funtober, that's like October.
No, October's already got a lot of cool stuff.
[00:28:00] Speaker B: Like Fun Ry, which is better.
[00:28:03] Speaker A: No, won't work. Oh, my God.
[00:28:05] Speaker B: I'll get fun facts, too.
[00:28:07] Speaker A: Fun facts. I used up all my fun facts. I don't have any fun facts.
[00:28:11] Speaker B: That's not true. That's not true. I don't believe you for one second. Okay, you had two fun facts.
[00:28:14] Speaker A: I've had like, 10 fun facts. What are you talking about? This whole episode was Fun fact February, Right? Okay, you don't have to agree with February sucks anymore, but can you understand why this was at least an interesting episode?
[00:28:26] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:28:26] Speaker A: There was some real shit behind February. Like, there was some value.
[00:28:29] Speaker B: And I will concede that, like, most people do hate February. So you are not wrong.
[00:28:34] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:28:34] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:28:35] Speaker A: Thank you. Vindicated. Okay, here we go. Number one, Leap Day. Didn't used to be Leap Day the way it was. Now, remember we were talking about leap day?
[00:28:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:42] Speaker A: It used to be way weirder.
[00:28:43] Speaker B: How is it more weird?
[00:28:44] Speaker A: So, like I was saying, the Romans didn't add February 29th to the calendar. They repeated February 24th.
[00:28:50] Speaker B: Why the 24th? I mean, you did say that they were just, like, repeatedly.
[00:28:53] Speaker A: Because they wanted to confuse the shit out of everybody. That was the whole point. No, it wasn't. Until the Gregorian calendar. You remember the Gregorian calendar? I don't know. I had to look that shit up. In the late 1500s, apparently, February 24, this whole thing with that was. It was already called a marker day.
Bear with me. In the Roman calendar system, it was the last legally important day before March. And when. I mean, like, legally important. I mean, Romans counted days backwards from March 1st instead of forward, like we do. And the sixth day before March, February 24th was used as a reference point for, like, laws and contracts and all those things. So when they needed to add a leap day, they just duplicated a day that everybody already recognized, like February 24th. That's what they were doing back then. That's crazy. I like that. To February 24th. And you thought I was blowing air up your ass way back then. I know. Okay, number two, this is a good one. Did you know that February is the only month that can pass without actually having a full moon? Huh? So sometimes when this happens, I go ahead and I give the full moon outside to my neighbors, just. So there is one full moon in February. Oh, my God.
[00:30:01] Speaker B: You're such a child.
[00:30:01] Speaker A: Okay, it's called Black.
[00:30:03] Speaker B: What? What?
[00:30:05] Speaker A: It's called Black Moon February.
Yes. Black Moon February. Yeah.
[00:30:11] Speaker B: Well, we should rename it to White Moon February.
[00:30:13] Speaker A: Well, if it was my.
[00:30:14] Speaker B: You have.
[00:30:14] Speaker A: Yes. But first of all, for the record, I have a very tan moon.
[00:30:18] Speaker B: Okay, we're not talking about your body anymore, so tell me about this moon.
[00:30:21] Speaker A: All right. Sorry. It happens, I guess, because the moon cycle is 29.5 days. I didn't know that.
[00:30:27] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. If it falls correctly, you might not have.
[00:30:30] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, because it's February 28th days. So like it says, once every 19 years.
[00:30:34] Speaker B: Hmm. I'll have to figure out when it is.
[00:30:36] Speaker A: Yeah, you don't have a full moon in February.
[00:30:38] Speaker B: There you go.
[00:30:39] Speaker A: I thought that was very interesting. Okay, number three, back in Roman days, every month used to have an odd number of days, except February. Romans believed odd numbers were lucky back then. So February was intentionally given an even, unlucky number because it was associated with death, ending, purification, rebirth. So it's like everybody hated February for Next year.
[00:31:01] Speaker B: I feel like the Romans just did not tee it up for success.
[00:31:03] Speaker A: No, they did. Not at all.
[00:31:04] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:31:04] Speaker A: I know. Okay. And my last one, according to retail surveys are back to, like, commercial, whatever, capitalistic society. Condom sales.
You can't even look at me half this time. It's terrible. Condom sales around Valentine's Day surge 25 to 30% higher than other months.
[00:31:25] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:31:25] Speaker A: As couples quote, prepare for the holiday.
[00:31:29] Speaker B: Can I guess what March surges in?
[00:31:32] Speaker A: This is a super fun fact. Go ahead. What? What do you think it is?
[00:31:34] Speaker B: Pregnancy test.
[00:31:34] Speaker A: You are absolutely correct because. Yes. Did you just guess that?
[00:31:37] Speaker B: Yes, but it's kind of funny.
[00:31:38] Speaker A: Hold on. At home, pregnancy tests in March, sales spike by the same percentage.
[00:31:43] Speaker B: That's funny.
[00:31:43] Speaker A: Yes. What?
[00:31:44] Speaker B: Because. Well, it just doesn't make sense, because if it spikes, you shouldn't have as much. So mine was the condom. Oh, God.
[00:31:51] Speaker A: Right? They forget.
[00:31:52] Speaker B: Okay?
[00:31:52] Speaker A: It's. It's like one night of hashing, and they're like, oh, my God, we forgot. So I don't know. That's all my fun facts. We done?
[00:31:59] Speaker B: All right. Well, I mean, that was fascinating in a very weird, Romans control everything way.
[00:32:06] Speaker A: And then, of course, the Catholic Church.
[00:32:08] Speaker B: I mean, big C, big C. But everyone now knows it's all about purification rituals, missing full moons, a bunch of other crazy stuff that's all up in there.
[00:32:15] Speaker A: Goat hide strips, whipping women.
[00:32:17] Speaker B: I know. Gosh dang. All right, well, why don't you go ahead and just, like, wrap it up. If anybody wants to go a little bit deeper into this February ritual. So.
[00:32:25] Speaker A: With a condom.
[00:32:26] Speaker B: Oh, God. I knew that was coming. That's why I think that are happening.
[00:32:29] Speaker A: All right, here we go. We'll just skip that. So if you like this episode and all things February, I mean, who wouldn't? I mean. Cause Amanda loves February. For psychology, nerds, start with books about seasonal affective disorder that we were talking about at the beginning. Yes. Or circadian rhythms. Cause there's real stuff we didn't go over in a ton of detail. Like, I know I skimmed that whole section, but it will absolutely make you feel better that you're not crazy. And you can totally blame it on.
[00:32:53] Speaker B: February because you miss the sun.
[00:32:54] Speaker A: Yes, absolutely.
For history nerds, if you want to know more about how ancient cultures dealt with winter, then look up anything around, like, ancient calendars, Roman festivals. Besides being really cool and learning how calendars work, you'll get an understanding that this has been going on since the beginning of time. If you don't agree to anything, you can always Watch Groundhog's Day because why not just watch it over and over and over again? Because that would be funny if you actually watch Groundhog Day over and over. And if you don't do any of that, then just remember these details to seem sort of sophisticated. Number one, February was never meant to be a happy month. Despite what Amanda thinks, it actually started as the last month of the Roman year, a cleanup month for endings, purification and surviving winter before it restarted in March. Number two, February is named after a ritual, not a God from Februa, the name for Roman cleansing rites. Even the name tells you this month was about clearing things out, not celebrating anything.
Number three, Valentine's Day didn't start as romance. It replaced a survival festival. Lupercalia was a mid February fertility ritual meant to force life to return after winter. Love got layered on centuries later to do sort of the same emotional job in a way safer way that Amanda is more comfortable with.
Number four, February is the month where the calendar decided to fix all its mistakes. Leap years, repeated days, missing full moons. If time needed patching, February was your guy. February's the junk drawer of the year.
[00:34:24] Speaker B: That's a good way to put it.
[00:34:24] Speaker A: Bad way to put it. Yes, absolutely. Why did it take me so long to think of that? That was good. Okay. And finally, February feels hard for both biological and psychological reasons. Less daylight messes with sleep and mood, motivation drops and clarity increases. That's why breakups spike after Valentine's Day. Not because of the day itself, but because February exposes what's real.
[00:34:45] Speaker B: And there you have it, dear listeners, our deep dive into the month everyone loves to complain about. What was our word of the day?
[00:34:52] Speaker A: Querulous.
[00:34:52] Speaker B: Querulous. Yes, everyone loves to be queerless about February isn't just short and annoying, it's intentional. From purification rituals to love holidays, February was never meant to inspire us. It was meant to test us. So if we did our job today, you're walking away a little more curious, a little more self aware, and maybe a little less hard on yourself the next time. February feels personal. This month isn't broken. It's ancient. It's honest. And it's doing exactly what it's always done. Stripping things down so you can see what actually matters. And as always, if you like this episode, hit subscribe, leave a review and share it with a friend who complains every February without realizing they're participating in a 2000 year old human tradition. So until next time, stay curious, stay honest, and remember, being sophisticated isn't about loving. Every season it's about understanding why some of them exist in the first place.
