Episode Transcript
Welcome back to SOS people, Amanda, that's like the Gen Z way. They snap it to each other. I asked Ruth how she tells her friends about this. She's like, dad, I just send SOS. Okay. Not really. She doesn't do any of that because she doesn't, I was like, I, I can believe it. She could absolutely care less about this. Um, but for like older people like me, it's called sort sophisticated, right? The podcast that hopefully makes you a little smarter without having to read anything. Um, and we also still laugh at farts. Okay. Um, you do. I right? Well, that's true. Yeah. Uh, I'm Pete and with me is Amanda. Hello. Hi Amanda. Um. I'm already reeling. We've just started. I, uh, I think maybe we're doing people a disservice here. Whatcha talking about, I was thinking about that when I was just like, I, like my brain just goes weird. Um, we all know this, but Right. Like we're specifically this whole podcast, like we're serving everything up on a platter to everybody. Like nobody has to work for any information anymore. We like. We are doling out like critical information here, like week on week and like yeah, we're making people like super smart. And nobody has to even lift a finger to get it. I mean, but does anybody think church? GBT. Because you could do the same thing there, and ultimately you're just helping people. So no, it's fine's fine, but people are, it's fine. Okay. People, sometimes people are even lazy to chat GPT, because if you don't know how to use chat GPT, you can't find what you're really looking for. It's not that simple. Simple and simple out. Can you just relax already? Okay. I'm trying to, Can we just have one intro, just one? Mm-hmm. We are not just having some sort of crisis or mental breakdown or conniption. No, no, you, this is who I am at my, this is who I am at my core. Okay. This is how I, it's exhausting. Thank, this is how I live my life. Like do you, do you think I like this? Like this is the brain I live in, Amanda, like I hate it. Can you just start drinking more? It's fine. Okay. It's fine. Thank you very much. I'm gonna go back to ignoring you. That's fine. That's probably a better idea. So we can get this thing started for a second. So we're gonna start the episode. Please just, just start it. By the way, we actually have a good one for today. So can we stay focused on what do on topic, what we got? Talk to me. I mean, it's one of those ones where we learn some stuff and then we also throw in some psychology and some self-awareness. I'm in. Those are the best ones. It is. Talk to me. Okay. Ready for the title? Yeah. Uh, dude, I'm born and ready. Go. From Awkward to Authentic. That's impossible for you. I am always authentic and awkward. So it's going from one to the other. It is a true statement. Nope. You're just together in both of those. Always. I'm so stupid. Love you. Whatever. It's all about being relatable in the workplace and to do it without being lame. So I don't know if you can even do this. No, I'm totally in like, this is excellent. Like where the hell was this like 25 years ago when I needed it? When I was a young man starting, By the way, um, I have an idea. Why doesn't people just listen to our last 50 podcast episodes and they would totally become relat. You're so shameless in the workplace. You're so shameless. No, seriously. Isn't that what we're trying to do? Okay, fine. That's one way to do it. Sort of like ma one a little bit. Okay. Um, well, I was thinking more about if like we actually gave like strategies on how to act in different situations. Okay. That sounds a lot better actually. So, you know, give you a better chance of fitting in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And not being so awkward. Okay, fine. I still say listen to the last 50 episodes, but. I'm super excited about this whole podcast episode 'cause I'm into psychology and I love how brains work. So then here we go. I'm sold. Okay. Okay. But first. Okay. Wait, we have to do Word of the Day. No, no, no, we don't. Wait, wait. What? You have to start with Word of the day. No. Why does being relatable in the workplace have anything to do with being cultured and curious? It has everything to do with being called, it's psychology, it's self-awareness. It's it's perspective. It's everything we ever talk about. It's generations, right? It's how many generations from the workplace right now? Four generations workplace. It's, it's, it's respecting and understanding. It's, it's like different points of view. It's like learning not just social awareness, but like, like acceptable. Like everything, like it's all those rolled into one. Like it is the epitome. So is this basically like redo over first episode? I mean sort self awareness, but with real, hacks on how to actually be awesome. Application. Real, real application. That's better. Okay. Now can I do a word of the day? Yeah. Well, yes, but I have a word. What? What is it? Laconic? Laconic? Yeah. No, I got nothing. Never heard of it. What it called me. No, I'm kidding. I'm just kidding. Okay. Um, it basically describes someone who uses like very few words to make a point or describe something. So someone who's really brief, but to the point where they sound kind of blunt about it. So not you, so not me. Not you. Okay. Because you like use a million words. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Whatever. So not me. Why you gotta dig on the whole like I talk too much thing. Well, I mean, 'cause you know, you talk way too much. You use a million words. So let's maybe this episode try to be a little more laconic. Oh, you're looking for me to be more laconic? Yes. You want me to be more blunt? I do. Okay. No, yeah. No more concise, Okay. All right. I, well, I'm taking you at your word. Okay. And I'm gonna do this. Here we go. And I'm gonna be laconic. Well then let's start. I don't like you. How's that for a good start? How's that for being laconic? Your face is laconic. How are we doing so far? All right. My face is blunt. I don't know. You're stupid. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm just trying to be laconic. Okay. All joking aside, quick history lesson here. Um, 'cause we always have to do history first, right? 'cause I know how much you love your history, uh, because whole idea of being relatable, Amanda, in the workplace is kind of new. It's not new. That can't be true. It's kind. Nope, don't believe it. I'm sure people have always been trying to fit in at the workplace since forever. Okay. Okay. So true. But like, like, bear with me here. Like, like in the context of formal, like I'm quote ing here, formal workplace culture. It's kind of new 'cause it didn't really exist until the whole industrial revolution started. Right before that, people just like worked in trade or like on farms or something, and usually worked with family or friends. You didn't leave every day to go to work to some super random place like uber far away, like from where you grew up, you worked as like a cobbler man, or like a blacksmith, or like a locksmith or something, or a printer. Okay. It's kind of why the think of it, frankly. Like what it's kind of wild if you think about it like that you did what your dad did, that's what you did. You're in the practice, that was your job. Fair, fair. Very fair. Thank you. So like then machines take over industrial revolution and people are like, oh, all of a sudden, like let's go. Like we're all shoved together from different generations. Everybody's gotta start working together because outta nowhere they start figuring out like relatable needed to start to matter and people had to figure this shit out. Wait, so are we relatable? What do you mean? Are we relatable? Like me and you? Are we relatable? God. No. You just told me like, I need to be more laconic. Remember. Okay. Seriously. Like, but like, are we even trying to be relatable? I, I, I mean maybe to some extent I guess we are, but like mostly we're just trying to share facts and interesting history stuff. I mean, like, I don't think we're like shooting for relatable. No, I think we're supposed to be relatable. We are. I do. I do. I do. Okay. I guess when we like tell our personal stories and like go off topic and stuff, maybe we're trying to be relatable or likable or whatever, but like. Whatever baby you are, like I'm more of like, like I'll be honest, I'm more of an asshole. Like, this is true. I didn't, I didn't know this podcast. Good job being onic and getting to the point I didn't know. This was based on me trying to be relatable. I'm just saying that like if I have to do that, then we have to do, we have to do over 50 episodes. So then why do so many people think they're really good at being relatable when really they just suck at it? Like, what's that all about? Right. I don't know. I think it's self-awareness. 'cause look, I could have just totally lied right now and just said I was good at it and like. Maybe some people might think that's true, but then like for like a million other people, they're laughing their ass off listening right now. 'cause like me talking about being relatable is like, I don't know, you trying to teach English class or something. Right. Well, we all know I'm not gonna be teaching English. Right. So, but you're also never gonna be relatable. So this, this is my point. You got sometimes, Amanda, you just gotta embrace the suck. Okay. I'm embracing my suck. Okay. Here's the problem. I'm gonna go hard for a sec. Can I go hard for a sec? I always go hard. Okay. No one's, no one's stopping. That's right. Okay. This is why I love this platform, because I could do whatever I want. Okay? Um, the problem is everyone thinks they have these perfect little personalities and they're good at absolutely everything. I get it. Like it's our ego. I'm totally the same way, but in reality, like. We're not as relatable as we think we are. No one is really, but like we just were told we were all our lives. So like why not? It's, it's like a really good defense mechanism actually when you think about it. Otherwise, we'd all run around press like AF all the time. Right. Makes sense. But see, in the end, if we can't see through all that, then we're kind of like outta balance and it just screws everything up so that. Amanda is why you need wonderfully kind, perfectly laconic podcast host. Thank you very much. If I may say so myself to try to help anyone who cares to listen, how to like strike the right balance of being relatable. Somewhere between, on the one hand just winging it and hoping everything somehow magically falls into place. And on the other hand, being way too much of a try hard and everything backfiring on you get it? Yeah, I do. It kinda all makes sense because for a while when I was growing up in my early twenties, I used to think that being relatable was about being like the funniest person or the person that one flocks to, or someone that knows something about every topic. But really it's not about that at all. Right? As I got older, I think I realized that it was more nuance in that and it's like super subtle. It's doing the right things at the right time without making it look like you're trying. Um, I guess it's kind of like you said. Right. Striking the right balance. Oh, spoil alert. That's why I suck at it. Because I never got over the whole like trying to be the funniest person in the office part. Um, and thank god for chat, GBD 'cause if you just listened to my advice on the topic, you'd be screwed. 'cause uh, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Uh, but don't worry. We have real proven strategies here, people, shit that actually works that like smart psychology people wrote about and thank God posted online for us to one day find and then subsequently talk about on our podcast to seem. Sort of sophisticated. Gotta love ai, right? I know, totally. So here we go. Let's start by running through some of the more like non-obvious basics. Good idea. Okay. So in order of importance, people, here we go. 'cause by now, let's be honest, if you spend any time in the workplace, you've already got like the basics figured out, like I'm assuming, right? Like, uh, smile more Amanda ask open-ended questions like mirror body language, right? Groundbreaking stuff. I know. Um, and then after that, Amanda, I hope you did your homework for this episode. Did you do your homework for this episode? Of course. Okay. All right, cut. 'cause you're gonna give me some real life scenarios and see if I was actually listening to you and I can actually apply them. Fair. This is gonna be so great. Let's go. Okay, so our first non-obvious strategy about how to be more relatable and work is stop trying to match everyone's personality. It won't work. You don't need to be a chameleon. It's like way too calculating and everyone totally can see right through it, like from the top down, right? So it's actually less about matching anyone's specific personality style and more about matching their energy level, which I figure must be hard for a lot of people. Um, everyone already knows your personality. You're just gonna look lame if you try to match everyone. You have to instead look for cues on how people work, like all the time. Head on a swivel. What do you mean? So like how do they show up at the office? Are they hustlers, like super efficient then keep things short with that kind of person. If they're a little more laid back or a little talka talk, then talk to them a little more like have a conversation with them. Oh, I get it. If they're like super steady, always prepared and show up to all their meetings on time, then like. Respect that and do the same for them. It's like mirroring behaviors, like not personalities. Right. Have you ever listened to jazz music? Like jazz? Jazz? Yeah. Yeah, totally. I love jazz. So it's just like jazz. You just sort of need a quote, unquote listen to what people are doing and then riff off their music. Okay. First of all, that's perfect. I love that analogy. Um, look at you getting all sophisticated with cool music reference like you speaking my Lange right now. Okay. But also, um, what if I don't think I could do that? That's like some hard shit right there. I mean, you've basically made a career out of it. So you just gotta relax. Okay. I will admit it does take a little practice in the beginning, and if people just stick with it, they're gonna be just fine. Yeah. But like it took me like a really long ass time. Like I said, stick with it. Okay. People will be just fine. Hopefully it doesn't take normal people as long. 'cause I was really slow on the uptake. I don't believe that at all. But that's basically why we're doing this episode, right? We're giving everyone the shortcuts so that way it's not gonna take them as much time as it did us, So they can just go ahead and rock it. Launch. I love it. Gimme, gimme the next one then. Okay. So the next one is what you were kind of talking about earlier, You're always trying to be the funniest person in the room. Yeah. Except I'm not that funny. This is true. Yeah, I know. Yeah. You don't always have to have a joke ready. Sometimes people hate it. Right? And you just kind of ruin the flow a little bit. Oh, oh, I've ruined the flow. Trust me, I ruin the flow plenty. I get it. I believe, I believe it's happened. I know I can't help it, but I get it. Okay. But instead of making a joke, try asking a question, something that's like a little more relevant to what's going on in the room or the space or whatever's happening. Oh my God, this is you're, you're like totally psychoanalyzing all this, or this is exactly what I learned in Vistage all the time. This is excellent. Like, here's the, alright, so then it should be simple for you. No, I, no, it should be simple, but trust me, there's like 16 people in my Vistage group and 15 of them I think do this very well. And then there's the guy that's still learning like 10 years later, like, well, I can't tell a joke. Um, it's a lot for me. So, um, I feel like I'm over two so far. Um, Like I need an example or something. I'm not getting this, I don't think. Okay, so just remember people love to talk about themselves. Instead of queuing up your next joke, just ask a question Like, can you walk me through how you got to that conclusion? Or really, oh my God, Yes, really? Because first it makes you sound thoughtful and curious. And second, it fulfills your desire to interrupt every 30 seconds, so boom, you're welcome. Oh my God, I hate you, but that's so true. Okay, you wanna know another good question that you can ask. I do, and I'm gonna start using this on you in our podcasts. Great. While I, because I'm the worst interrupter of all time, I'm gonna start interrupting with questions instead of dumbs. I mean, you said it, not me, but yes, I hear you. A, a good question for you would be, what's the biggest challenge you're seeing with this thing right now? Huh? It kind of shows that you care about what they're actually talking about, even when I know you don't. Right. That's the problem. Just ask. It's okay. It'll make you seem like you're interested. Hey Amanda, what else do you got for me? This is very interesting stuff. It is actually, how did I do so, so far? So far? So, so far it's okay. Alright. No, not to be. Maybe drop the tone right? Not okay. All right. I gotta work on the tone. Um, I don't wanna be a dick or anything, but, um, kind of too late. That's fine. Wow. Okay. I feel like you're like telling me to just be fake, like, like No, I'm not really telling you to be fake. No, no, no, no. Are you? No. I'm assuming that you care about your job in the first place right. Like, wait, wait, wait. What? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I get what you're saying. Like, like conceptually, like you do. This whole idea is we're in the workplace, and so if we care about being in the workplace, then we have to Okay. I, I got, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I got it. Because if you don't actually care, then maybe you're in the wrong job. But we don't, we don't need to go into that just No. Okay. Bypass that point. Yeah, that's actually, it's really solid. Um, can I still throw a joke in every once in a while at least. I mean, sure. But like, maybe one tops per meeting. What? Yeah. Or like at the beginning or the end. Oh. Oh, all right. I'm gonna do the best I can. 'cause then I'm gonna have to like, save up for a really, really good, like, like a whopper. I'm gonna need a whopper. Okay. What else? Yes. Just spend your whole time thinking of your whopper joke. Oh yeah. That's what I'm gonna do. I spent a lot of time thinking of my whopper. Right, okay, so this next one is my personal F, and it sort of works really well when you're starting a new job. So if you're not starting a new job, you kinda have to figure out how to get it in there. But when starting a new job, right? People want to make themselves look good sometimes too good. Oh my God. All the time. Yes. Together. And drives me nuts. Yeah, because you know that they're just the newbie, right? Yes. Right. And they're like trying to fit in and figure out the culture and all this stuff. And they're like walking on eggshells and you know that's not who they really are. It's hard stuff, right? And then you're rolling their, your eyes. It's literally why I spend hours and hours interviewing people. It's crazy. Well, that sounds exhausting to try to figure this out. I don't interview people. Yeah. Okay. Got it. Sorry, but you're probably rolling your eyes at them, right? Yeah. Gimme the beef. What do we got? And so essentially if this new person was kind of like, Hey, I'm just trying to figure out how you handle that client call. Do you mind sharing some quick tips? That person's now showing respect without being needy and it's like a low key flattery. So it's kinda like a win-win and it makes the newbie. The old B have some like connection of like the old b's. Like, oh, I helped them. And then you'd be like, yeah. Oh, thanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're like trying to find a way to communicate that's not over the top. Yes. Like ridiculous. And reaching into someone who's already doing the job. Correct. Yeah. So it's a super, it's like a, it's like, it's pretty nuanced stuff though. It's, that's like fine line, but it's also like super specific and super authentic. Right, right, right, right. It'll go a long way. No, I, yeah, I think authenticity like helps like a lot here in this case. So like, do you have another one like that where like, like you could give somebody some example of like how to be easy to help, but like, not in a lame way. I think another way could possibly be is like if you had a task and you finished it, you could go up to whoever you know has been in your position or is above you and just be like. Hey, just finish this. Is this what you wanted or how it was, right? You're leaving the door open for a constructive criticism, but then you're also connecting with people by showing them that you know. Right. Looking for you maybe don't know everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looking for feedback in a non kiss ass way. Yeah. Yeah. Super good way to, okay. No, I totally get this. How many more of these do we have? I maybe like a couple. Alright, go for it. What's next? So here's one. People screw up all the time, right? What is it? Give it to me. Well, being relatable doesn't mean you have to share your entire life story. By week two in your new job, I'm out. Oh my God. But no, kill me now. I know. It's because people do that. I know. I know. People like trauma dump or overshare your random weekend in habits. Anyone really wants to know the first place. Okay, well then, wait, what am I supposed to do? Like I want the hack then because I'm, I think I'm an overshare. I mean, you just gotta pick one or two personal details that you wanna let people in on. Nope. Now I need to know, like gimme a specific, like detail that doesn't go too far. I mean, you have this weird fascination with your German short-haired pointer, right? Yes. Or your Diet Coke addiction. Yeah. Both. Yes. Yes. Okay. Well, it gives them something to connect with. But it doesn't really overwhelm them. Right. It's just kind of like loose things. Oh, interesting. Right. So don't give them the whole, like, my wife died, I have four kids. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm depressed. Af just sort of say like, I love to drink a diet Coke every day. I mean, and then people could like laugh a little much Okay. So, I'm sort of, I'm being a little, yeah, I get it. It's not self-deprecating, but like you're letting them into your world a little bit, but not like super far in where it's awkward. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I love that. Just a little, A little sprinkle. A little sprinkle. Okay. So we're not gonna overshare, which then brings us to our last one, and it's probably the hardest one. You gotta own those awkward moments. Um, yeah. That's easy. That's every day of my life, right? No, stop it. I mean, like the one, like it is, no, I mean, like, if one of your stupid jokes fall flat all the time, or if you're like me and you mix up someone's name. You just gotta be ready to laugh it off or. Okay, play it off. Like, you mean like have a modicum of self-awareness and not be defensive about it all. Like when you tell me I'm terribly mean to you sometimes, and I have to sort of take that and sort of like absorb Well, that's, that's constructive criticism. Okay. Well, same, same. I mean, it's just not being defense. I'm trying. Look, I'm trying not to be defensive. I'm trying to use your hacks fair. Okay. Like, I, I believe you, that weirdly, that actually makes people trust you more, but like, nobody seems to get that, like, well it just makes people not feel like they're gonna be attacked, right? Yes. 'cause if you can make fun of yourself, then you're giving people permission to like, stop pretending they're perfect. Right? And then that it's like it worked. Like, here's the problem though. We're all taught, we have to always look put together, like all the time. Trust me, I've made like a career out of pretending this and it's totally not true. But you have to be authentic 'cause people absolutely connect with authentic. Yeah. I feel like this is something that you learned at Vistage though. I did. It took a really long time. Um, can I go rogue though? Absolutely. Okay. Okay. So about Vistage. Um, I think it was called like team amplifiers or something. Like we had this speaker who came in to talk about like the ways to make better teams. Um, bear with me 'cause I think it totally works with this topic., anyway, he had like a bunch of different tools to use, but like the thing I remember most was something called the four tiers of help and it basically was a way to understand how your team contributes like in something called degrees of helpfulness. But I'm sitting here thinking about it. It sort of is like how someone evolves as they grow in the workplace and like becomes more relatable from sort of when you begin your career to when you like, hopefully get to a successful end of your career? And full disclosure, I'm reinterpreting his work here. His work was all on teamwork. But, but you get the, was this based off of like team amplifiers? Eight ways teams thrive in rapid change. Wait, where did Yes. Yes. Why, where did you just get that from? Uh, Che pt. Oh, let's go chat. GPT. Let's go. Well, anyways, it was authored by Eric McDermott. McDermott. McDermott. Yes, Eric. Great guy. Shout out to Eric. Thank you Eric McDermott. Love your stuff. The book introduces eight practical strategies aimed at increasing trust, engagement, and coordination within teams, and it offers, actionable practices to align team members with shared objectives and promote innovation. Okay. Yeah, totally about that. I can see why it was a topic. Yeah. Yeah. I, okay, but yeah, you're getting super sophisticated on me now. That's not my point. Okay, so like, wait, during one party talked about these four tiers of help that I just talked about. One tier was reactive. Do what you're told. Kind of like, like when you start your career, right? Like that's what, like people give you jobs, you go get 'em done, right? Tier two was tier two and three. I guess were more proactive. Ask what you can do and then propose what you can do so you start being more valuable to your team members. Now you're not just like doing what you're told, you're like, Hey, what can I do? You're leaning in and then you're proposing, Hey, I could do this. Right? Those are the proactive. And then finally the fourth tier, like the highest tier. Like actually funny story, 'cause I remember talking about how if the tiers were actually ranked, it might dishearten people. I actually suggested taking the numbers off of the tier. Like I totally remember this, like as a way to differentiate them. And then we got into this whole debate like, are the tiers good? 'cause like it gave people something to aim for. Are the tiers bad? Because it's like throwing people off, but that doesn't matter. That's not my point of this whole story. The, the, the point, right? Like, anyway, the soapbox, right? The fourth tier was about being autonomous, like anticipating what you need to do next. And I would argue that's like great leadership, right? So now it's like you can handle it all. You don't, you're, you can obviously give. Directives to people. You can also lean in and ask what needs to get done or propose solutions. But being autonomous is like anticipating and thinking further through all this. So like same. Same with being relatable. This is how it all comes together. Trust me, people, my hypothesis here is that the higher you move up in these tiers of help, the more relatable. You're becoming in the workplace. Same. Same. So what you're saying is we should really buy this book on Amazon right now and do a giveaway. Uh, dude, let's do it. Let's go. Alright. But until we do that, can we get back on track? Right. All right. First of all, shout out to Eric. You went, you went real rogue. I did, I did. Shout out to Eric McDermott. Okay. Um, like, shouldn't he be giving us like some sort of like, uh. Advertising money. I mean, let's go like, we're advertising everybody, right? Like, this guy's gonna get rich off of us. We're just helping people. 17 bucks a book, people, let's go. Okay. You're right. Um, well, okay. I have a question. What should we try to like, see how this applies? Yeah, we should. That's a great next step. Let's do the role play stuff. Gimme some of those like real life scenarios that, uh, apparently you cooked up before the app. And, um, lemme see how bad I do this. Well, let me get to that spreadsheet. You have 'em on a spreadsheet? Yeah. Just what that, what are you talking about? Copied and paste it so we were ready. It's fine. Oh my God. Okay, fine. Pull up your spreadsheet. Okay. Ready? Let's see. Yes, I'm ready. Okay. Hit me. So you are not like a boss in this scenario. You're just a regular employee. Oh my God, that's awesome. I can can do this back. Yes. A thousand years and just try to answer it that way. Okay. Was that you being laconic? I don't know. No, that was very blunt. Okay. Very direct, very blunt. Ready? Yes. So you're out to lunch with a bunch of your work people and everyone's chatting about their weekends. Like one person is talking about their kids' soccer tournament. And like you all the time, and another one is rambling about their DIY project at home. And you're sitting there thinking, kill me now. Like you have written all over your face. Yep. And you have nothing to add to this insanely boring conversation. Absolutely. Uh, it makes perfect sense to me. So then what do you do? Um, that's easy. I just, uh, make up some story about how my dead wife would be more interesting to talk to than, uh, they would be right now. Could you just play along like, oh, okay, fine. Um, I don't think you would actually bring that out, but I absolutely probably have already done that. Um, but I get it. I'll play along. I would use what you would call. The mirror energy thing we talked about earlier. I'd have to fake and feign interest,, since I'm stuck at lunch anyway, probably ask for a double, um, and then ask questions like, oh my God, here we go. Hey, how is that DYI project going? Or like, how did the soccer tournament end? Even though the whole time I'd wanna kill myself. but I get it. I can't, I can't do that. And I have to follow this mantra of this podcast and stay curious somehow. And I have no idea how I'm gonna do this, but, um, how did I do? Well, it's a made up scenario, so just relax. You're not actually stuck in that. Okay. Thank God, Okay. Want another one? No, I don't, I wanna get outta this as fast as I possibly can. Okay, well, we're gonna do it anyways. So let's say you're stuck on a project and you don't wanna seem like the person who has no clue what to do, but you're totally hitting a wall. What do you do? Wait, what do you mean? I'm, what do you mean? What do I do? Like, what's a plan? Do I don't understand the scenario? How do you move forward? Okay. First of all, I don't get stuck on projects. Okay. I'm perfect. Of course you don't. Right? Uh, so I would copy and paste the whole thing in a Chad GPT, slap my name on whatever comes out and call it like leveraging innovation or something. Boom. There you go. I nailed it. Um, this is when you're supposed to be relatable and say, Hey, I was working on my report and I got stuck at how to summarize my data in a way that's easy to absorb in a few key slides, I remember you finished a similar project like that a few weeks ago. How'd you approach that part of it? Remember, it's a specific ask and you're showing respect for their expertise and it opens a door for you to connect with the rest of your team members. Uh, you're good at this. Maybe we should switch places. I don't like this. I don't wanna do this anymore. Mm, no, I don't think so. I don't think as fast on my feet as you do. Um, apparently that doesn't really matter, Amanda. 'cause I'm over two here. I don't even know what I'm doing. Yeah, this wasn't really like, we're not keeping score. Okay. Well, I am. So apparently I suck. Okay. Go ahead and pretend like you're a gen zr. Okay. Oh, wait, wait, wait. We're doing another one? Yep. How many more are there? I don't wanna do any more of these. This isn't fun. I'm losing Jen's like maybe one or two. Okay, fine. Okay. So you're a genzer. Yes. I live with the four of them. That's easy. I can do this. So someone old, like your age. Wow. Really? Like a boss, right? Stops you at your cube and says something like, Hey, just a heads up. I forwarded you a note from the client with some feedback. I added a few thoughts in the thread. Can you take a look and circle back by end of day? That's exactly what I would say. I know you would, right? I'm the boss. No, I'm the genzer. You. You the genzer? Mm-hmm. Okay, fine. Okay, so shit, okay, so you go and you check your inbox and the email thread is 12 messages long. How many. 12. That's a lot of messages. It is a lot. This Gen X guy's crazy and it's full of vague phrases like per our last conversation. And let's take a step back. Like there's no clear ask from your manager anywhere. There's no bullet points, just a bunch of passive aggressive ambiguity and cc's all over the place. So what do you do? That sounds, and don't be sarcastic, like actually answer it. Like you need to get clarity from your boss. So no, like stupid joke response here. Yeah. Okay. I really don't know what to do. I don't, I don't think we really covered passive aggressive emails when we were just talking earlier, like, wait, did I miss a part? Like, seriously. Okay, fine., let me think. Okay. Um, let write an email back. Something like this. Okay. Hey, boss man. Okay, well, not really boss man, but you get the idea here. Uh. I just read through the email and thanks for including all of the 12 threads. This is really hard for me not to be sarcastic. I'd like to make sure we are aligned. Before I get started, am I focusing mainly on addressing the feedback? From the client or would you like to discuss the bigger picture advice you are sharing with me? Oh my God, I'm getting this. Happy to take the lead here. I just wanna confirm I'm headed in the right direction. Thank you very much. Nailed it. Shows initiative, filters the chaos, and asks a specific question, casual, competent, and clear. Put me in coach. I'm ready to go back and be at Gen Z. Well, I am glad that you finally started to play along with the scenario. My pleasure. So great job. Yes. Um, but I do think you're the opposite of relatable in the workplace. I, yeah. We've already established that like foundationally at the beginning of this episode. I'm doing the best I can here and I'm trying to help,, foster and collaborate and yeah. So then let's just sum this up. Our quick cheat sheet here on how to be relatable in the workplace and memorize it or voice memo it to yourself because you should always have it handy. So number one, mirror energy, not personality. Number two, default to curiosity, not commentary. Number three, make yourself easy to help. Number four, share selectively, less is more. Number five, own the awkward remember self-awareness builds trust. And number six, finally find the universal annoyances. equals Instant bonding. Perfect. I love this. Uh, pro tip, if you haven't figured it already, stop thinking that being relatable means you have to be liked by everyone. It's more about making it easy for people to work with you and like talk to you, like to trust you than it is about being liked. Exactly. We shooting for authentic. Right? You don't need to be the life of the happy Hour. Just the person people know that they can talk to without it being weird. That's totally impossible, but yes, I am. Yeah. Okay, fine. Okay. Are we all done? Can we move on to fun facts, please? I'm tired of being relatable. This is totally stressing me out. Okay, bye then. No more stress. Just give the fun facts. All right, we ready for this? Yep. Let's go. Number one. Um, did you know that sharing your snack stash at the office makes you 37% more likable? Okay. Only sort of scientifically proven, Amanda, but sharing your peanut butter pretzels is a total shortcut to workplace diplomacy. Food equals friendship always has, always will. Do you have, um, food in your office? No. Do you share snacks? No. I'm a total snack share. I have them all over my desk. Everywhere that tracks. A lot of people come in. It's great. Okay. Um, number two, do you know what the most underrated bonding tool is at the office? Sure. Don't. Uh, the thermostat, nothing unites coworkers faster than the shared trauma. Of either being freezing cold or sauna hot in the conference room. Oh my god, it's a killer all the time. It's hysterical. If you're looking for a shortcut to instant relatability, people just whisper. Why is it always so hot or cold in here? Boom. Team spirit. 'cause everybody hates the person in charge of the thermostat. Uh, number three, emojis are the new emotional intelligence test, either in Slack or teams or whatever you use at the office. Using the right reaction emoji and doing it like at the right time makes you seem fun and responsive and not like a stupid robot. Just don't overuse and be sure to match the vibe of the thread or the team member you're chatting with. and Please at work. Like never use hearts or skulls or any fruits or veggies, if you know what I mean. Can't use those emojis. They're terrible. Okay. Um, number four, complaining about the printer is a workplace love language. Hey, why didn't we do that in our love language episode? Complaining about the printer. I didn't know that. I don't think it's a true love language. I think it is. Believe it or not. Listen, people still use a printer. You don't even need an icebreaker when the printer jams. Just like sigh and look around dramatically and say, well, I don't know. I was working this morning. Someone will instantly try to help you. Everybody tries to help you with the printer or the copy machine all the time. Okay, finally, last fun fact. Remembering someone's coffee order is better than a raise. Okay, maybe not getting someone's name right, plus their Starbucks order. You're basically running for office mayor. People just don't be over the top with it. Just keep it smooth. But if you know people's coffee order, it's a big deal. You look authentic, you look relatable. That's all my fun facts for today. They're pretty good ones. Snack diplomacy, thermostat trauma, and emoji timing. You are really good at this. Thank you. Say it all the time. Thank you. Thank you. And I think everyone should steal all of 'em because they were just so good. Well, I use them all the time. Alright, well why don't you go ahead and give us a recap then. Tell me what we gotta do or what we need to memorize so we can be uh, sort of sophisticated please. Holy crap. Okay. Um, so I have three books if you wanna do any light reading and get some more practical advice. Okay. The first, of course, is The Timeless How to Win Friends and Influence People. Dale Carnegie, Written a hundred years ago, still totally relevant. Uh, you can also try The Power of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath, or Radical Candor by Kim Scott, both Awesome. They both focus on building trust in the workplace and being authentic and not too jerky. Highly recommend those books. Uh, next, if you aim into books, 'cause I know some people aren't. you can always watch the Office, duh. Like it was released like, I don't know, in the mid two thousands. But it's still like the gold standard for awkward workplace relationships. If you've already seen it, watch it again. With new eyes and play along with what like not to do or how you would resolve situations in the exact opposite way than Michael Scott would obviously 'cause it's a spoof, but it does put people in some really funky situations and it helps your brain sort of process like, oh my God, I can't believe that's happening. This is how I would handle it. Oh my God. Oh shit. You could also watch severance on Apple TV. Plus right now, they just released season two like a few weeks ago. Like, it's going off right now. It's crazy shit. But really, you're not gonna learn like a lot on how to be relatable. Mostly you'll just learn like you wanna kill yourself 'cause of all the workplace dysfunction. Um, hell you are like, seriously? Okay, shout out. It's excellent though. Watch it like, highly suggest severance. And then finally, it all boils down to this drop the whole idea. Of a professional persona and all, like the corporate jargon speak, everyone hates it. Instead, lean into being a competent but flawed human. That's where relatability lives. Competent and flawed. Super important. Uh, and two, just accept that like everyone's not gonna like you. It doesn't matter. You can let go of people pleasing once you realize fitting in perfectly is impossible and totally unnecessary. Relatable people aren't universally liked. Like I said, a million times, they're authentic and authenticity shows confidence, humor, humility. Like all the gold for like relatability people. Alright, and there you have it. Being relatable at work isn't about being trendy or pretending you're someone you're not. It's about showing up with a little self-awareness, a sense of humor, and maybe a well time snack offering. Totally is. According to Pete. Yes, peanut butter pretzels. People, whether you're bonding over printer woes or leading the thermostat rebellion. Relatability comes down to the little things that make people feel seen. Heard, and human. So we've done our job today. You're walking away with a few new tools, a few good laughs, and maybe even a reminder that you don't need to be perfect. Just present. If you like what you heard, go ahead and subscribe. Leave us a review or share it with your favorite coworker slash emoji warrior. But until next time, stay curious, stay kind. And if all us fills bring a snack,
