Episode Transcript
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Sorta Sophisticated, a podcast where we try like hell to expand our worldview and Learn some new things that will hopefully make us, well, I guess, a little more cultured and curious. Right, Amanda? Yes, Pete. That is our goal. But really, we are just trying to enlighten anyone who cares on topics that might make us more interesting humans and maybe just dangerous enough to hold our own in this world. Do you think people really care? Do you think people are starting to care? I hope so. I'm not getting that impression. Well, here's the thing. Let's keep on truckin Is that the plan for today? We'll have one foot in front of the other. Let's go. I'm your host, Pete, sitting here as always with my co host, Amanda. And today my fellow nature nerds, we'll be diving into the crown jewel of America, our national park system where the bison roam free and the squirrels have mastered the art of stealing the trail mix people, whether you're a seasoned hiker or someone who thinks a scenic overlook is just a parking lot with a better view. We've got the inside scoop on how we established the whole system in the first place and why you shouldn't have a staring contest. I'm your host, Amanda. Have you ever done that? I don't think I've ever seen a moose in real life. Oh my god, I have. They're frightening. And they're huge. So get on your hiking boots, pack your bear spray, and let's explore the wonderful world of America's National Parks. So I'm really excited for this episode because this summer. I know, right? What about this summer? I went to like six national parks. You did? Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait. We're going to get there. Hang tight. Okay. Before we get started, did you just hear that one of the most iconic rock formations from Utah's arches national park just collapsed? Two weeks ago. Which one because I was just there. Okay. Well, I don't know. There's a lot of famous ones there. I guess this one it's referred to as the Toilet Bowl and it's the famous one at Lake Powell. Wait, what happened? Like, did someone do something to it? No, I don't think anybody did anything. It just naturally collapsed. Like, erosion and stuff. I'm, I'm bringing it up because we have to remember that these things, aren't gonna be around forever. I mean, I'm sure, like, general human activity on the planet sped up the whole erosion process, but, like, you have to remember that all these arches have, like, a natural, God lifespan in the first place. I'm pretty shook about all this. That Yeah, it's a big deal. It just collapsed? Yeah. Are we doing anything can we do anything to preserve it? So that's the thing, I don't know, like, the National Park Service's job isn't to try to save the arches, believe it or not, it's just to preserve the natural process that created the arch in the first place. But then of course that means that those same natural processes will eventually lead to, like, them falling down, like, in the case of erosion and poor Toilet Bowl. And so it's gone and we will never see it again. That's really sad. It is though. Now it just makes my mission to go to all 63 National Parks that much more intense. Let's go. And what does the arches have anything to do with being cultured and curious in the first place? Because learning about national parks connects us with history, like our culture, our natural environments that shaped America to begin with. I'm all about going to the national parks, but like learning about the history of how it all started, that's going to make us cultured and curious. Yes, it is. And, let's get really sophisticated for a second here, which I know is totally not what we're after. Like, think of the indigenous people who came before us and first settled here, right? It would give us a way deeper understanding into their culture, if we cared enough to learn about, sort of, national parks and why we, you know, Created them in the first place and why we were trying to preserve them right and and in general I just think like being engaged with nature helps us to like be more informed and more globally minded More than anything else right nature matters I can get on board with that and the reason why I can is because we actually in Antelope Valley Yes took a nature walk with An indigenous person. Beautiful. Who grew up in the valley. Like that was his playground and it was so cool to have him walk us through it. He told us all about the different plants that they use as herbal medicines and it was just an incredible experience. I can't even describe it. You are cultured right now. I love listening to you. Like this is the whole point. But going through it, I didn't think about it. Right. But then when you're doing it, It blows your mind. It does. This is absolutely the best thing ever. Okay. So, uh, did you also, fun fact, did you know next week is the 134th anniversary of Yosemite becoming a national park? Is it really? It is. I did not know that. October 1st? I don't think I realized the national park system was that old. Oh, it's old. It's even older than that. We're going to talk about it. October 1st, 1890, Yosemite became official. I mean, I love Yosemite. It's by far the place where you feel like an aunt. An ant? An ant. Like a little microscopic bug. I get, like the bug. Like a little tiny bug. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, right. You stand in the valley and you look up and you're just encompassed. It's breathtaking. It really is breathtaking. Yeah, it's awe inspiring. Okay, our word of the day today is Calpighian. Our challenge is to work this word, Calpighian, into the podcast somewhere and make it seem like we meant to do you know what. I don't. Does it have to do with a piggy? A little piggy? This little piggy? No, no, no. Are you ready for this? Yeah. Ready? Okay. Um, this is a good one. Calpiggian basically describes someone who, um, how am I going to say this? Has finally developed butt muscles. Like, like a nice ass. What? Like, yes. Like, not in a sexual way. Like, in a legit sort of butt muscle way. What? Yes. I, I can't even. Why? Cause isn't that like the same thing? No, it's not the same thing. I mean, well I guess it is. If you like muscular butts, then it's a sexy butt. But like if you like a g yat, like kinda like I do, then like, hell no, that's not even close to the same thing. I'm sorry, I don't even know what a g yat is. Uh, a g yat, yat? Girl, you're ass thick. Like a girl with a big, yeah, okay. So you don't want a muscular butt, you want a big, voluptuous butt? Yeah. You said that right! You're so sophisticated! Alright, anyway. Listen, I don't do this on purpose, okay? I just look up random word dictionary. I don't believe you, I hate you. No! Calpigian. We're doing this. I don't, okay. Calpigian, you gotta work in. Strong butt muscle stuff. Or I'll work it in. One or the other. Okay, well, let's go. Give me some history. Let's go. History of the national parks? Yeah, the origins. Let's go. Like early, why did they start? The origins! Alright, here we go. Um, 200 years ago. Rewind that clock. A time when buffalo roamed. Do they not roam anymore? Right, I mean, so that's the thing, I think Not as much, I think they sort of just congregate now Cause we, built a lot of houses and everything, so they don't have places to like roam, but you get the idea it was a long time ago So back to House on the Prairie days? Like Dances with Wolves days, like Tatanka Like way back, way back then, yeah, okay, anyway I love how you go movie, and I go book Right, you go book, I go, right That's true We're probably around the same. I don't know if Tatanka was the same time. No, as little house on the prairie was way newer. Tatanka is way older. Okay. So it all starts in 1830. So like Yosemite's not the oldest. This guy named George Catlin, who apparently was some pretty important painter and author. He was the first to propose the idea of a Nash of a nation's park. He basically wrote a book. Well, a lot of books, but his most famous book by far was called letters and notes on the manners, customs, and condition of the North American Indians that he published in 1841, a quick synopsis. The book sort of describes Catlin's travels and observations while spending time with a bunch of native American Indian tribes during the 1830s. And at some point in the book, he shares this vision for what he calls the preservation of natural landscapes and Native American cultures through this idea of creating, air quotes, a nation's park. And this little idea we now know today was the initial catalyst that later influenced the entire national park movement. So just to make sure I got this straight, this guy Catlin figured out like 200 years ago that we should protect Native American culture from a bunch of entitled European American settlers. Bingo! Why do we not know more about him? Why was there not taught about him in history? We probably should do a podcast episode on him. I think this would be a good idea. Sounds like he's a revolutionist. He's a stud. Total. Shout out to Catlin, right? I know. Okay, so, even though nobody really listened to good old, uh, Catlin at the time, he did lay the groundwork for all future generations. So, it wasn't like a real lost cause. I mean, he got this, he kicked this shit off, right? I guess at least one guy was listening. Cause if you fast forward like 40 years to 1871, some dude named Ferdinand Hayden, Let's call him a geologist. He teams up with another guy named Nathaniel P Langford, and we're going to call him a conservationist, but, Amanda, he was really more like a vigilante. We'll explain that. And since neither of them have to hunt like Buffalo anymore to survive, cause they're no, cause they're no longer, uh, roaming, they're just sort of congregating. They lead the first federally funded geological survey of the The Yellowstone region in 1871 and it sort of goes without saying they both fall in love with the place and take pictures of all The majestical shit in Yellowstone and basically head straight to Washington to convince Congress not to bulldoze a place for an apple piece Right, that's how that's how we get started. They go talk to Ulysses S Grant. Maybe not Ulysses himself, but like they go talk to Ulyssi's people. And basically convince them that this Yellowstone region has like way, way too many natural wonders all in one place. So it should be protected. So we have like a place to, you know, camp and stuff. So in 1872, president Ulysses S. Grant, who wasn't doing anything, who we kidding except putting a whole freaking country back together after the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, people decides to officially declare Yellowstone the very first national park. 1872. Wow. Really? I know that long ago. We're a hundred. True story. We're at 150 years. Wow. 152 years. I know. So have you been to Yellowstone? I have not been to Yellowstone. No! But I have watched Yellowstone. Does that count? I think that counts. But does it? It does. Do you know what Yellowstone's about? I don't know. I know it's Kevin Costner. And I know it's on my list because I've been told by everybody that it's excellent. Um, and little sad story. It was the last thing my wife was watching. So she got through like the first season, um, before she passed. And so like now I'm totally committed to going and watching Yellowstone for her because I love her still. Okay. Forever. You should definitely watch it. Okay. And Have you seen it? We'll watch it in memory of Gabby. Of Gabby. But, um. What? What? I have seen it. Okay. And it's not about, Yellowstone, like you think, National Park, but it is the area of Yellowstone National Park. Oh, then I'm totally in. And. So do I have to watch this on like a massive big screen because it'll make it that much better? Yeah, especially the landscape, right? Yeah, if you're watching it to appreciate that and Kevin Costner You probably love him. I actually don't love Kevin Costner. Oh, okay. I think everybody watches it for rip rip. Mm hmm I don't know who rip is. Yeah, you will is she hot and nope, it's a dude and you'll find out why we're gonna have to watch it 'cause November 10th, the second installment of season five is coming out. And so we'll watch it. A memory of Gabby. Oh, so wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I have to catch up then. I have to watch Four Seasons then before November 10th. Holy crap. Good luck. Let's get on it. I mean, it, it is one of those bingey shows, so you'll be just fine. I'm on it. I have to watch it. Alright, but we need to keep going, cause I only got through the first National Park and there's 63 more, uh, so this is gonna take a while. It's not, you're not going through all 63. Um, Are you actually? No, I, you know what, I should just to piss you off. Um, I mean I would not actually be upset about that. This time you could drone on, it's totally okay. And just, you just snooze? No, I would be so excited. Right. Don't worry, I'm taking the high road. You don't even know. I bought a water bottle with All63 on it. No you did not. I did. And you put a sticker every time you go to one. Oh, you did that? I sure did. Okay, uh, I don't even know what to say to that. Wow, that's so good. I'm so excited for you. I'm not the only one. Yellowstone started a movement, dude. Really? It's like totally a thing. The water bottle at the national parks called USA Parks. Let's go. I'm in. Alright, so like, speaking of Yellowstone. Enter John Muir. Who's John Muir? John Muir, from the John Muir trail. What John Muir trail? Holy crap, we could like do a whole podcast episode on him all by himself. John Muir, the OG bearded guy who basically convinced everyone that trees had feelings. I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh my god, Google him. Just, he's kind of a big deal. And you probably totally hiked on his John Muir trail before. Alright, I'ma look it up. Look him up, dude, seriously. He was like Benny Franklin. No, he wasn't. Yes, he was like a farmer, like an inventor, a naturalist, an explorer. He was even a writer, and he probably had a pretty callipygian ass from all the hiking he was doing up there. Like all muscles, like no fat. You gotta love Murrah and his callipygian butt! Ha! Sorry, I was Did you really just catch up? I was Googling. So, he starts running around all over the place campaigning for, like, more national parks, because he was just a badass. Um, like, why Yellowstone is the only one? Like, I want more. So, he single handedly establishes Yosemite National Park. Thank you very much, Amanda. That was the next one. And then, subsequently, Sequoia National Park, both in 1890. I love Sequoia. I love Sequoia, too. That was one I did visit. Essentially, he gave, the giant trees and the massive granite cliffs of Yosemite, like, some serious legal protection. Okay, so, to be fair, he didn't really do this all by himself, I make it sound like he did, but President Harrison had a hand in it, cause, um, he was the president, and he signs all the important documents and stuff, so, um, if that wasn't enough, Muir also then, co founded the Sierra Club, you've heard of the Sierra Club, who has not heard of the Sierra Club, founded in 1892, which basically drove a bunch more people to start advocating for the cause. It makes a lot of sense. It does. I can't say I know what the Sierra Club is though. You don't? So I'll have to Google that too while you keep going. It's a hiking club. Oh. Continue. Okay, so then in the 1900s, like, shit took off, right? President Theodore Roosevelt, he establishes five national parks, including Wind Cave, Mesa Verde, and Crater Lake, and created a bunch of other national monuments and wildlife refuges so arguably the most important thing my man Teddy did was pass this act called the Antiquities Act of 1906, which basically gave the acting president power to designate national monuments on federal lands. Which might not seem like a big deal, Amanda, but it basically protected areas before they were national parks. Like, as an example, he made the Grand Canyon a national monument in 1909 first, so that like developers and miners and stuff couldn't like do shit there anymore. And then ten years later, in 1919, it finally became a national park. Gotta love Teddy. You gotta love Teddy, right? You He was out in front. He knew the secrets of like, how to manage the diplomacy, back then, like how to sneak through the government anyway. Um, okay. So then around 1915, it's President Woodrow Wilson's turn to put in some work for national parks. So on August 25th, 1916, President Wilson signed this thing called the Organic Act, which officially created the National Park Service. Which was basically a new office in the Department of Interior responsible for protecting the 10 national parks that were already created by that time. But more important, they were also charged with protecting any new ones. Created as well. What do you mean by protected like protected from what? Um from idiots like us, I guess like just people yes, making sure people were being respectful and like not squatting and Doing like poos and peas and making them their own personal toilets and stuff. I guess I don't know like Okay, seriously their actual job was I had to look this up to keep the parks unimpaired For the enjoyment of future generations, which is just fancy talk for don't let people screw anything up It was a big deal and because we got this NPS started a bunch of really popular parks were created the Grand Canyon Glacier National Park the Hawaii volcanoes and keep in mind Hawaii wasn't even a state yet and the Rocky Mountains You So, like, a bunch of shit started needing protecting. And having the MPS really marked a turning point for national parks. And it also helped drive awareness and funding as well. Okay, so it was a really big deal. It was, it really was, because we needed people to start taking care of stuff. So then we sort of went into maintenance mode for a while. Like, we were still adding parks and stuff, but the bones were all established and already working. So in the 1920s it was about adding infrastructure, like roads and visitor facilities. And then in the 1930s, we added a bunch of trails and campgrounds because we ran out of money during the depression and couldn't build stuff. But we did add some pretty cool parks even during that time, like the Great Smoky Mountains, and of course, my favorite, the Grand Tetons. I mean, who doesn't like a Teton? Right? I'd love me some Tetons. Of course you would. I know. Alright. Beep Beeps. Right. Alright, then shit kind of went dark for a while because like World War II and stuff. But afterwards, just like COVID, everyone started showing up to the parks in like droves. I mean, technically it wasn't after COVID, right? It was during COVID that people were showing up and going to the parks? Okay, so, fine. It was the only thing to do! Yes! Okay, so it was like sort of like COVID. It wasn't exactly like COVID. So after the war, people were all over the national parks, and the MPS couldn't keep up, and things totally started deteriorating. So the MPS decides to launch something called Mission 66, which is basically this program aimed at trying to upgrade stuff so we could get back on track over the course of, like, the next ten years. Because they had this, massive groundswell of momentum where, like, everybody wanted to go. Which is a cool thing, but then shit starts to go sideways, then fast forward, let's go 1960s and 70s. We passed some more acts like the National Historic Preservation Act, and the National Environmental Policy Act, and the Endangered Species Act, which all helped with, like, park preservation, protecting water and air quality, and all the endangered species and stuff. So we're getting serious. Lots of acts. Yes. A lot of acts. We're getting more sophisticated. Then in the 1990s, the NPS started addressing sustainability. Here we go. Like climate change, invasive species, and even indigenous tribe stuff. And also all the while kept working on making the parks more welcoming to like more and more people of different backgrounds and ethnicities. And, um, by the way, did you know that death Valley and Joshua tree were only named national parks in the 1990s? No way. Yes. Not even that long ago. Death Valley. Joshua Tree. Not even national parks. Up till 1990. Yeah, crazy. Right. Okay, and that basically brings us to today how the United States National Park System has become a model for conservation worldwide. I mean, seriously dudes, it's a masterpiece. It preserves our country's natural beauty. It protects different cultural heritages. And it somehow still provides recreational opportunities for millions of visitors each year who better take care of the damn place for the sake of future generations. And that is the quick history of the National Park System. How did I do? I don't know, I think I fell asleep somewhere like 1915. I hate you. I'm just kidding. Um, okay, well, for falling asleep during class, you have to tell us why the whole idea of national parks were created in the first place. Oh, really? You actually think I fell asleep? So I totally prepared for this episode because I figured you would think that I would show up like I normally do. But are you ready for it? Uh, yeah, we're gonna see how this goes. I'm ready. Okay, so just to be clear to our audience, let me restate your question so everyone knows I was actually listening. Yeah, why don't you even just try that? Let's see if you even got that. Okay. Why was the National Park System created in the first place? Okay, good. Go for it. Oh, see? Okay. I'm intrigued and ready to be sort of sophisticated. It's because this topic was interesting. Let's see. Alright, okay. So first, it was to preserve America's natural beauty so we wouldn't screw shit up and build stuff on all these awesome places. Second, people thought there needed to be places for people to go that were basically free and also could learn about America's outdoorsy stuff. Oh, on the right track still? I don't know. Um, I didn't look this up so far. So good. I guess. Third, since we preserve them now, they are easier to study and we can learn things about how our continent was formed that we otherwise couldn't. And finally, whether you believe it or not, national parks give America and ultimately us a sense of pride and identity that we otherwise wouldn't have. Got to remember all things considered we're still a pretty young country compared to a lot of others and national parks give us something to showcase internationally. It's part of our unique American heritage and a genius move by all these people who help set them up and advocate for them. I will let you know when we were visiting the parks. Yeah. There were probably more international people than there were Americans. Seriously. And I will only say that because There was hardly very much English being spoken around us. Okay, first of all, I think that's totally cool. And I think that speaks to, uh, Americans, kind of suck a little bit, and we should get out to our own national parks. And I love that other people, like, from other countries want to come and visit. I think that is awesome. And I gotta tell you, like, holy crap, you did really good. Cause, that last point, I never really thought of it like that. I, do all this research and figure out, the history and why we established the National Parks, and I never think about, what stuff's for. And that whole idea about, an identity was, like, that was pretty clutch. Uh, you flexed all over me. Proud of you. Yeah, I don't know why you ever doubt me. Um, I'm never doubting you again. Okay, well, good. Now it's your turn. And probably not a fair question, but if I could only visit five of the 63 National Parks, which ones should I choose? Totally not fair. They're all totally different. Each one has like a special vibe. I know. Okay, well, besides, I haven't even been to that many. Why don't I give you the most popular ones? Can I just do the most popular ones, like the iconic ones? Is that okay? Yeah, are we going based off of, how many visitors they have? Or just, like, movies, references, cultural, iconic? Yeah, we're going off if I googled what are the top five and what came up. How's that? Alright, great. Alright, so Really, we are so sort of sophisticated. All right, so number one, Yellowstone National Park. We talked about it. Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, uh, top billing for sure. Not only was this the first national park in the world, it's also got Old Faithful. Is it really old? Okay, so I have a question about Old Faithful. Was it always called Old Faithful? Or was like, back in the day was it just Faithful? And then like, it had to get 200 years old and now they call it Old Faithful. How did it get the adjective old? I'm just saying. Okay, anyway. It's also a haven for wildlife. Dude, you heard me. A haven. Did I just throw? Haven. I love that word. Bison. Bears. Wolves. Anything that could kill you is literally still roaming around up there. Everywhere. It's glorious. Okay, number two. Yosemite National Park. California people. Yosemite is awesome because of El Capitan and Half Dome. The iconic rock faces you see like in every picture everywhere. Thank you Ansel Adams. Oh my god, I cannot believe we haven't talked about Ansel Adams till right now. So true He was the reason why I even started learning about his technique in college because his pictures are so beautiful. Totally Okay. Yeah. So for those of you who don't know, Ansel Eaton Adams was an American landscape photographer and environmentalist known for his black and white spectacular images of the American West, like not just national parks, more than that. And his photographs totally contributed to the whole conservation movement. So he cannot be overlooked. So anyway, besides Half Dome and El Capitan, Yosemite also has, amazing waterfalls. Like, Yosemite Falls, Bridal Veil Falls, uh, these are the ones that all these people fall from and die every year. and, it even has some really old ass sequoia trees in there as well, so it is a must go. I didn't even know that they had sequoia trees. That's a cool fun fact. Yeah, because it goes down that far. Like, sequoia butts up again. I don't know how they match. Oh, they run into each other. Sort of ish. Huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you also can't talk about people dying. Why can't I talk about it? How many people die? A lot of people die. I mean Don't you read about it every year? It's like, oh, somebody else fell. And I'm sad. I'm sad for them. I'm sad for their family. But like, I really don't understand how people die. Like, people do things they're not supposed to do and then they die. And it's terrible. Well, fun fact though. Grand Canyon is actually the national park that has the most fatalities. Yeah. In 2007, 198 people died. That's a lot. That's a lot of people. Though I wonder if it's because they fell. Oh, and speaking of the Grand Canyon, coming in at number three is the Grand Canyon, Arizona. Mic drop. Do I need to say anything else? The Grand Canyon is by far one of the most amazing and natural wonders of the world. Shout out to the seven wonders. It's all connected people. So it was carved by the Colorado River. Like over the course of a gazillion years and it literally reveals millions of years of geological history through all those thick ass rock layers. It's incredible. You can explore the South Rim for the Instagram worthy Pano or hike down into the canyon or even take a rafting trip down the river. It is bucket list fo sho. It's breathtaking. Breathtaking. Uh, number four, Zion National Park in Utah. I was just there! Jinx, you owe me a coke! That was awesome. Okay. Uh, so, Zion looks like it is straight out of a movie, people. Like, all the red cliffs, massive rock formations, totally incomparable to any place else on Earth. Angels Landing and the Narrows, two of the best hikes anywhere, by far. It's like you are on another planet. Did you go, did you do those or no? I did the Narrows. Oh my god, I've never, I have to go there. I mean, we lucked out because it was one of the days where it was super low, and You have to, like, reserve, right? Yeah. Don't you feel like reserve like a bike? I think sometimes answer something. Yeah, like during oh my god, that is so awesome Hi season, but yes We just lucked out and showed up and we walked as far as we could that is so cool I need to see pictures. Can we see pictures after this? Okay. Thank you Okay. Okay. And finally number five rounding out the top five is The Great Smoky Mountains National Park. It's in Tennessee and North Carolina. Is that Smokey the Bear? No. Is that where he came from? Smokey the Bear, no. He's like, isn't he a California forest parker? Yeah, probably. Okay, yeah, listen. But it would have been so much better if that was here. I know. With Smokey the Bear. But it's not. Okay. Maybe that's where we got it from. Huh. I don't know. Okay. Did you know that the Great Smoky Mountains is the most visited national park in the United States? No, it's not. Yes. Why? I, I, right. No. Yes. So I thought it was Grand Canyon. Apparently, it's the Great Smokies. I totally want to go to the Great Smokies. Like, Smokey Bear or not, because like, I want to see the famous mist covered mountains that you see in all the pictures. unbelievable. Oh, I also need to walk the Appalachian Trail and see all the waterfalls. That one is totally on my bucket list. I feel like I'm not a true National Park enthusiast because I knew none of that. Yeah, right? So there you go. No, but there's, but like, look, you can't, like, you just told me to do top five. There's others, like, I didn't talk about Glacier National Park. I didn't talk about Denali up in Alaska. The Grand Tetons. I would talk about the, the Grand Tetons. Oh my God. I talk about the Grand Tetons all day long. Sequoia, the Hawaii volcanoes, you can't really pick that Florida Evergreen. You can't pick. So whatever, right? They're just all so good. They're just majestical, really. Every one of 'em has a different level of uniqueness, and I promise you, you're not gonna be disappointed. Just go visit please, people, please. Okay. Since the reason we're doing this whole episode is about October 1st anniversary of Yosemite. Yeah. Do you wanna give us a quick history of how Yosemite was established? Like quick, quick. You know, I get mad at you when you say that to me because like, I try so hard to go as fast as I possibly can. And I think I do a satisfactory job at moving quick, and then you're like, yeah, just go quick. Is that what Gabby told you? Oh my god, I hate you. Touche. Alright, she loved my Calapagian butt. Alright, sorry. Okay, so for Yosemite. You gotta go back 40 years before it actually became a national park. 40 years? 40 years before. So it became a national park in 1890. So we're going back to 1851. Okay? Pre Civil War. So Yosemite Valley was actually first documented by European Americans during a military expedition. Where they of course found a way to like totally screw the Awanichi people out of their homelands. A bunch of horseshit if you ask me. Why do we take everybody's lands? Like I love the Awanichi people. I've never met them. I don't know them. But I am like pro Awanichi. All the way. So I apologize. To everybody who stole your land. All right. Anyway, thanks to Thomas Ayers and Lafayette Bunel, who basically made Yosemite known to the world in 1864, president Abraham Lincoln signed the Yosemite grant act, which granted Yosemite Valley and the Mariposa Grove of giant sequoias to the state of California for preservation. So kind of a big deal. Cause this was the first time the U S government ever set aside any land. any land specifically for preservation. This was before Yellowstone. So even though it wasn't a national park, Yosemite was the first land to be preserved and couldn't be used for anything else. So enter John Muir. We talked about him earlier. We got to love John Muir, right? Yep. Yeah, him and his Cala Piggy butt, right? Okay, so he organized some trips with some pretty important people so they could see the place and start advocating for it You got to love this guy then finally on October 1st 1890 Congress designated Yosemite as a national park and thanks to good old Teddy Roosevelt in 1906 the management of Yosemite Valley was transferred from the state of California to the federal government Making sure nobody would mess with it And that's it, the quick history of Yosemite. Gotta love Yosemite. We do, and I gotta go back. Why? Because it was just amazing. Oh, oh, I thought you wanted to go back like somewhere else, like to a fun fact or something. You might go back to Yosemite. Yes. Now, I have been there, and I loved it. I was 36 weeks pregnant. Really? And I hiked to one of the falls. I was 36 years old, so there. Well, there you go. A little bit, a little bit. You hiked to the falls when you were pregnant? Yeah. And you weren't one of the people who perished. Mmm. I sure felt like it by the end of it. So proud of you. Yeah. Good for you. Cause you stayed behind the ropes like you were supposed to. Like a good American citizen. I did. Proud of you. Yeah. Okay. Maybe not the best idea to do. No. But anyways. There's definitely something to being in the outdoors. So let's hurry up and finish the episode so we can get out of here and go be in the outdoors even though it's a thousand degrees outside. Oh yeah. I know. Right. But before we do. I gotta know before I go. What do you gotta know? Give me some tips to prep. I can't go without being prepared. Well, I don't, what do I know? I stay in a five star hotel. You know me, Amanda. I visited like two of these parks in my life when I was younger and didn't have any money. Okay, how about you tell me what I gotta know? Like, I'm the national park virgin here, more or less. Okay, good idea. You'd probably screw it up anyways. So, here we go. for that vote of confidence. I mean, we just travel very differently, that's all. We, okay. Okay. You're good, you're good like this. Go, send this through, tell me. First, you gotta research the park that you're gonna visit. It's really important, people. Each park has specific regulations, like camping restrictions, pet restrictions, can you pack some heat or not, yadda yadda yadda. You can't pack, can you pack heat in national parks? I don't know. I've never actually gone or tried to do that. Oh my god, that's so cool. I mean, they don't You probably can't. I want to look that up. Okay, anyway. Basically, you just got to know the rules, right? Know the rules before you go. So, second, plan your visit, check the weather, and be ready for anything. Especially in the mountains or the desert, because shit changes fast. Flash flood, out of nowhere. But bring layers and real outdoor gear. Don't be going in your, you know, Southern California, cool kids clothes. Can I go in my Crocs? I mean, you joke, I actually, we hiked the Narrows with Crocs. Okay, look, so you're not even doing what you're, you are literally advocating for, you're terrible. How's anybody going to take us seriously? It's because I learned my lesson. Okay, fine. That's why I said it. Okay, so this is, all right, got it, I love this, okay, go ahead. I'm sorry, I won't screw with you, keep going. And like you also said earlier, like you gotta make sure if you need reservations. Some parks require them, some don't. But mostly it's like during peak season. I can't believe you got into the, I still can't believe that, that's awesome. Yeah, but we went on off peak. I love it. It had just ended. I love it, good for you. And sometimes even the campgrounds and trails could require some resis. So it's probably a good idea to check in advance. True that, good job. Alright, well third. Safety first, or in this case, safety third. Yeah, well, maybe, probably, probably you should have started with safety. I mean, maybe. Okay. This one should be pretty self explanatory, right? But I know sometimes people can be lame, so just follow the rules. And stay on the marked trail, it's for you and the environment. Also have your phone and download a map prior to hiking so in case you lose signal you're covered or just get the app all Trails pay for the subscription. It's like 40 bucks, but I love that you have like GPS location I use it all the time and it's downloadable and it saves your life when you that shit doesn't work. Yeah I figured at least it could send a signal if I fell off the cliff. The face of the earth. Yeah, you know, I don't understand why people just don't like use compasses anymore or like paper maps. Like, those are still in existence and I think like everybody who goes outdoors should learn how to use one. They're not that hard. I mean, not gonna lie. I'm very shocked that you've used a compass or a map. Okay, I just feel like if you're going to go outdoors Be ready for anything. Okay. Learn stuff. So we should order one on Amazon and have a compass. Okay. I wonder how many people, how about REI? Really? We're going to order on Amazon. Let's go to REI. All right, go ahead. Or your local hiking shop. But also how many people do you think actually know how to use a compass? I don't, should we look that up? I'm going to Google that. You keep going. Okay. Okay, fine. Uh, another good thing to bring with your compass would be an emergency kit. Um, that way, wherever you go, at least you have a first aid kit, a flashlight, a whistle, condoms. No, I mean, if you go with somebody worthy of that shirt, and then you're just going to find somebody on the trail, which that's a different adventure all in and of itself. It really is. That's true. Maybe even an emergency blanket. They make them in those really cute pocket sizes now, too. Also, bring enough food and water that you can last for at least a day if you got stuck somewhere, or you got lost, one of the two. And learn enough about the local wildlife, a. k. a. are there bears? Bobcats, mountain lions, things that could eat you. So you don't accidentally provoke them because remember you're in their territory and just be respectful to the animals and the foilage. Yeah, it's all about foilage. And I know we've all seen way too many TikToks about people who are doing dumb stuff to the wildlife. They get hurt. I mean, which. In some ways, they should get hurt. Yeah, because they're idiots. Hey, do you want a fun fact? I do. I am. I love fun facts. Okay, it's not really a fun fact. It's more of an un fun fact, really. Uh, it's sad. Do you know on average that 250 people die each year in a national park? Yeah, I could believe that. Slipping, falling, taking selfies, shit like that. I'm sure even a few bear attacks thrown in, but not many. Um, mostly just from not being safe. That's terrible. It is terrible. It's, but also why are people so stupid? I don't know, but like, it's important. That's why safety matters. It does. Okay. Get back on track. Okay. Fine. Fourth, what Boy Scout law? Do you know the Boy Scout law? I don't know the Boy Scout law. Leave no trace people. Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it. If you pack it in, you pack it out. Everything. Trash, gear, whatever it is, take it out with you. Also, think about the Girl Scout Law while you're at it. I don't even know that one either. Leave it better than you found it. Really? So if you see trash or garbage on the way, take it out with you. What about poo? You have to pack your poo out? I think you do. Like serious hikers, I know of friends that go like hike like Mount Rainier or Mount Shasta. They have to pack their poop out. Yep. Bring poopy bags. You got to. Alright. Leave no, leave no trace, people. Leave no trace. What's the Girl Scout one? Leave it better than you found it? Yes. I like that. Alright, good. Alright, so fifth, here's your list of essentials. Write it down. Hiking boots, a hat, and shoes. Sunglasses, a light rain jacket, an extra pair of socks because it is no fun hiking in wet socks, and an extra layer for warmth. Bring more water than you think you'll need, and high energy snacks like nuts, granola, dried fruit, power bars, all good choices. Power bars, people, you gotta bring those power bars. Um, you also need to bring sunscreen. And wear the sunscreen because, you know, people forget and they turn out to be lobsters by the end of their hike. And don't forget a map or a compass like we kind of said earlier. Oh, I looked it up, by the way. Uh, surprisingly, out of 2, 000 people ranges 9 to 24. 50 percent said they could confidently use a compass. That's bullshit. No, I don't agree. That is absolutely 46 percent of ages 45 to 54 said they could use you just use a compass. Ah, this is bullshit. Do I believe this? I mean, maybe they don't even know what it is. Oh, wait a second It might be like the compass you use for like algebra like for geometry. I mean, oh I might be looking at the wrong compass. Alright, sorry, keep going. Am I bad? Well, finally, I guess, if you're all new to this, like Peter is, you might want to consider joining a guided tour, like we did in Antelope Valley. It sounds a little hokey, but it really is a great way to learn about a ton of stuff, all the while being super safe and prepared, and from a different perspective. And, I think that's all I got, Pete. I'm sure there's a lot more, but remember, we're only sort of sophisticated here. Thank God we're only so sophisticated. Not like me, who, totally just realized, the stat I was looking up said 9 to 24 year olds, of course we're talking about compasses for geometry. Why would they start with that stat? That's totally dumb. Okay, you ready to do fun facts? I'm not doing the fun facts. That's all you, bud. Okay, but you just nailed that last section, so I figured I just, like, stand, stand down, let you take it. Hell no, you're the fun fact guy, and it's my favorite part, and I like to be pleasantly surprised. Alright, fine, we're fun facting this. here we go. The national parks cover almost 4 percent of the United States. The 63 parks span 27 states and 85 million acres of American soil. That's amazing. Want to guess the largest one? Yeah, I do. What? The Grand Canyon. No, it's St. Elias National Park in South Central Alaska. It is 8. 3 million acres. Well, now I want to know which one is the smallest. Okay, I had to look up that one. The smallest is a place called Hot Springs National Park in Hot Springs, Arkansas. And it's only 5, 500 acres. That's like not even that big. That's like teeny teeny. That's like two or three miles each way. Like two miles by two miles. Well, maybe a little bit bigger. Like 2. 5 miles by 2. 5 miles. Huh. That's not even that big. No. That's like small, small. Yeah. Okay. Uh, fun fact. Okay. Sequoia National Park is home to the largest known tree in the world. Duh. General Sherman. And while General Sherman isn't the tallest or oldest tree on earth, at 52, 500 cubic feet in volume, it is by far the largest. And it's believed to be around 2, 000 years old. It's just reaching middle age. It is still growing. So wait, was this tree around when Jesus was born? Oh. I was just thinking the same thing. Yes, absolutely. I think when the Bible says Jesus went into the wilderness, he was hanging out with like baby General Sherman. Okay, wait. Super fun fact. Do you know how old the world's oldest living tree is? No clue. Okay, check this out. Um, first, it's not in a national park. But it is in a national forest in eastern California. It's named Methuselah. And it's estimated to be over 5, 000 years old. 5, 000. That's like older than the pyramids of Giza, Amanda. That's like woolly mammoth era. That's end of Stone Age. This tree is alive since the end of Stone Age. And here's the kick in the pants. Nobody knows where it is. Well, I mean some people know where it is I'm sorry what so you can't know where it is because they think people will screw it up so they just know the general forest that it's in and there are certain people like it's a government secret like which tree is Actually Methuselah and which tree is 5, 000 years old But we as the general public we don't know because we will go screw the tree up because we're idiots That is the most random fun fact How did they figure out it was 5, 000 years? They do the ring thing. I don't know what they do. Yeah, but like carbon dating They walked through this forest and they just found it. It is insane. Yeah, I know. They see if they can still get it up. Okay, anyway, um, fun fact. Mammoth National Cave Park in Western Kentucky has the longest known cave system in the world. Amanda. Over 400 miles of caves underground. We don't even know what's really in there, but some pretty cool stuff They found two species of eidolous cave fish I didn't even know those I didn't even know those were a thing until I googled this fun fact and also shark Fossils in caves shark fossils. So who really knows what's down there in that like crazy and complexion Labyrinthian cave system. All I know is that i'm not going to find out. Uh, you know what we should do We should send that boys soccer team from Thailand like down there. I'm sure they would totally love to explore it. That's horrible Yeah, the ones that got like that was horrible. Okay. All right, that would be funny I feel like they're good cave explorers. I mean they probably are now they're probably excellent. They're grown up now anyway, shout out to those guys. That was they were excellent guys. Okay all right fun fact in Colorado's great sand dunes National Park visitors can not only view the highest sand dune in all of North America, but are you ready for this? They can also sled down it. That's badass. I know. It's called the Stardune. It's 755 feet. People come from all over the world to race down it on custom made sandboards or sleds. Let's, I want to go to Colorado Sand Dunes National Park. Let's go. Yeah, I'm gonna go at some point. So you can come along with me. Yeah, that's true. You're already like 20 deep. I'm like two. Alright, fun fact. Did you know Yellowstone National Park has its own flower? What? Yes, totally. Along the shores of Yellowstone Lake in the National Park, a flower grows that can't be found anywhere else on Earth. The Yellowstone Sand Verbena grows on only, Amanda, 1. 48 acres of land in the park. That's not a lot. No, it's tiny. And it's also super unique, because all other types of verbena, like in the world that scientists know about, usually grow in way warmer climates. What is going on here? God stuff. 1. 4 acres. That's like, a football field. That's it. So random. It's totally random. Okay. fun fact. Dry Tortugas is the most remote national park in the United States. 70 miles from Key West, Florida. And, it can only be reached by boat or airplane. Most of the 100 square mile park is in open water. Are you gonna go there? Yeah, that's open water park. I mean, I don't know the list. I got it. I got to finish the water bottle It's got seven tiny islands I guess it's known for like it's awesome scuba diving and snorkeling because it has like more than a hundred Sunken shipwrecks around it all over the place. What the hell is going on and dry tortugas? Why are there so many shipwrecks? It's like what was that called? I don't know then Bermuda Triangle. Yeah, what why are you putting up a square? And I have to say Bermuda Triangle Okay, and I think it's probably because they're like the sirens live there from like Greek mythology where they bring that I know I think So, all right, that's probably where they were. All right, fun fact want to guess the most visited National Park in the United States Yeah, it gotta be the Grand Canyon. No, no, no, it's not we talked about this. Yes The Great Smoky Mountains. Dang it. Yes last year 310 million people Like, again, my mind is still blown that this is the number one visited one. Let's go! Okay! It borders Tennessee and Virginia, which is basically driving distance for the entire eastern seaboard. Where like 80 percent of the population lives. Who are we kidding? It's all about convenience. It has 20, 000 different species, making it the most biodiverse park in the United States. Yes. And did you know the most endangered species that lives there super fun fact the northern flying squirrel. They're so cute I don't even know how many are left, but whatever. I want to go there and just see one of those Thank you. That would be cool. You've seen in real life or just in Google Okay, but they're so cute But what I also am very interested to find out the most endangered species at each of the national parks Yeah, cuz that should be out of the bucket so I started looking that up and a lot of them aren't as exciting as you would think a lot of them are like, fish, plant, like, they don't, it's not just animals. Okay, okay. Right, so, like, you'd have to get more specific. Like plankton. Yeah, you'd have to get way more specific. Okay. I can't believe there's people that, like, scientists nerd out on this stuff, this is crazy. Okay, and finally, we know the oldest national park is Yellowstone, but do you know the newest national park? Nah, but you're gonna tell me. Yes. The newest national park is New River Gorge National Park and Preserve in West Virginia. Um, do you know how long ago it was established? I don't know, like 30? Four years ago. I never heard about this. That's a lie. Four. It was established in 2020, people, during COVID. Uh, thanks to good old Donnie Trump, people, like him or hate him, he's making national parks! Why did he pick that one? Uh, well, because it was already like, preserved. Remember, the whole thing, so he just signed it, into, like, the law or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he made it. Okay, yeah. Alright, so that's all I got. Nothing left to do except get off our Calipigian butts and go visit. Well, I need you to boil this all down for me so I kind of know what I'm talking about when I want to impress people. Let's do it then. You ready? I'm ready. Alright, so first, let's boil this down. If you're lazy like me, just sit on the couch and watch America's National Parks on Disney It's 10 episodes, people. It is incredible. It covers all the big ones for sure. They're 45 minutes each episode. It's not bad. They are excellent to watch. I highly suggest it. Okay, second, if you're more adventurous, like my co host Amanda, pick a favorite national park and go visit. Either a day trip if you're close, or a whole vacation plan. Either way, get out there. She is committed to all 63. Third, take a shit ton of pictures and make a photo album or put them up around the house So people think you're cultured and cool when they come over then finally memorize this entire podcast So you're all set up to spend the day flexing on your friends and family on the origins of national parks And some fun facts to boot. But if you really can't remember anything we talked about today, just be sure to share these interesting and relevant details to seem sort of sophisticated. Number one, Yellowstone national park established in 1872 is not only the first national park in the United States, but also the first in the world. It's establishment marked the beginning of a global movement to preserve natural landscapes. Number two, thanks to Amanda. We know that national parks give America a sense of national pride and identity that we otherwise wouldn't have. Remember, relatively speaking, we're still a very young country, and national parks give us something to hold on to and showcase internationally. It's part of our unique heritage. Number three, the U. S. National Parks System actually includes over 400 sites, encompassing not only national parks, but also national monuments, historic sites, battlefields, and a lot more. Only 63 of these are designated as actual national parks. Number four, the creation of the National Park Service, the NPS, was formalized by the Organic Act of 1916 signed by President Woodrow Wilson. The Act established the NPS with a mission to conserve park resources, unimpaired for the enjoyment of future generations. This balance between preservation and public enjoyment is central to the management of our national parks. And finally, while Teddy Roosevelt was easily the most influential president when it came to national park advocacy, you can't forget about Abraham Lincoln. Ulysses S. Grant, Benjamin Harrison, and of course, Woodrow Wilson, who all played incredibly pivotal roles in establishing and expanding the national park system in the United States. Oh, and John Muir, who was a badass conservationist and naturalist, apparently, who did more to help establish national parks than anyone else. Anyone in basically the world. And there you have it folks from the swamps of the Everglades to the frozen tundra of Denali There's now a park for every type of adventurer or procrastinating office worker daydreaming at their desk so next time you're out in one of those natural wonders, take a moment to thank the visionaries who thought it was a good idea to preserve them before they realized how popular they'd become. And maybe, just maybe, refrain from feeding the bears. They've got history too. We'd like to think we've shared just enough information to make you either a flaming nuisance or a little more sophisticated to your fellow humans. Sort of. So remember. Keep applying that sunscreen and leave no trace, but your footprints. And if you've enjoyed this episode and found it particularly interesting, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share with your peeps. Until next time, keep wondering and keep wandering.
